Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hi and McKella, I understand the fear when it comes to eating whatever one wants. We're conditioned to believe that an apple will keep our weight under control but apple pie will cause us to balloon up in no time. We want the freedom that goes along with eating whatever we want, but how do we deal with the accompanying fear? Maybe we are afraid that once we start eating apple pie, we wont be able to stop; maybe the fear seems rational because we did binge on apple pie. I think the difference is that when we give ourselves full and complete permission to have apple pie, the frantic cravings for it begin to diminish; in fact in time, and it doesn't take long if we're truly and honestly giving full permission, the cravings for it die altogether. We may still want apple pie sometimes, but it's much more just like an apple. We may want a nice, crunchy apple one day, and apple pie the next and both are equally fine choices, made freely, not from compulsion. If we eat the pie, but feel guilty and are partly thinking, maybe I better not allow this, then the pie retains its "specialness" and the cravings continue. So it pays to question, why am I feeling guilty? What beliefs do I carry that contribute to non-helpful guilt feelings? Because once the guilt is gone and the pie and the apple feel likeequal choices, we'll find that our food choices balance out over time, so then believing the pie will make us fat becomes a groundless fear. Worrying that it's all we'll want also becomes a groundless fear. When we have exactly what we want we will feel satisfied much sooner and end up eating less. I don't know if you've done this, but in my dieting days, if I wanted a piece of apple pie, I'd try an apple, then not satisfied, I'd try a grahm cracker with a little jelly, and then I'd still be unsatisfied and think, I'll compromise, just one cookie, and then sometimes my will power would work and I'd not have the pie, but plenty of other times I'd have the pie, and then, oh no! I blew it!! Now I can't resist all the foods I'm not allowed to have; I better get them all in because tomorrow I'm back on track! So of course when we have exactly what we want we end up eating a whole lot less and over the week's time, we've had a balance of many different foods and food groups. So if I eat something I don't normally have which seems energy dense, and the fear strikes, and it comes on pretty quickly and annoyingly, I just remember all of the above; I take a few deep breathes, and know that my fear of getting larger based on that one eating experience is based on an irrational belief. I have no idea if this long post will help anyone or not, but that's how I've dealt with fear of eating exactly what I want when I want it, and I let myself eat when not hungry too so that there's no "on" to go "off" of. I eat mostly when hungry, but I always know that I have full permission to eat when not hungry if that's my choice. A key to feeling satisfied with formally forbidden foods is to trust that you will always supply more and you will never again restrict the food. Oh, and in the past four years, I've always bought cantaloupe already cubed in the plastic container. Yesterday I bought a whole cantaloupe, which I haven't had in much more than four years, and guess what? I had some actual cravings for it!! lol I had never thought of it as a forbidden food so the cravings weren't intense, but I did have them :.) Our bodies are very sophisticated and will naturally cue us to have a balanced diet over time, all food groups included. If we've forbidden foods for a long while, there may be a temporary period of choosing those foods a bit more often, but the balance will even out over time! Laurie To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, December 11, 2009 8:08:25 AMSubject: Good Morning Hi Mckella, welcome to the group. I totally relate with still feeling guilty about eating what you want. Literally, it is like foreign territory for me because I have always eaten "healthy." I am actually a Dietitian, so that's both a blessing and a curse for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Thank you so much Laurie! That was very helpful. It's crazy that it sounds and is so easy to eat what you want when I'm hungry, but my mind and years of dieting have made it so difficult. I am for the most part doing really well. Today I had some lasagna for lunch Normally I would never do that, but it was really good and I really like lasgna. I tried to just pay attention to how I felt and to my hunger. I had a little fear/anxiety, but this is HUGE progress. This whole last week has been a miracle, and I kind of feel like I'm back to my childhood thinking...... back when I allowed myself to eat anything. It's crazy how food takes on so much less of a meaning and hold less power when you allow freedom. Thank you so much for your insight! > > Hi and McKella, > I understand the fear when it comes to eating whatever one wants. We're conditioned to believe that an apple will keep our weight under control but apple pie will cause us to balloon up in no time. We want the freedom that goes along with eating whatever we want, but how do we deal with the accompanying fear? > > Maybe we are afraid that once we start eating apple pie, we wont be able to stop; maybe the fear seems rational because we did binge on apple pie. > I think the difference is that when we give ourselves full and complete permission to have apple pie, the frantic cravings for it begin to diminish; in fact in time, and it doesn't take long if we're truly and honestly giving full permission, the cravings for it die altogether. We may still want apple pie sometimes, but it's much more just like an apple. We may want a nice, crunchy apple one day, and apple pie the next and both are equally fine choices, made freely, not from compulsion. > If we eat the pie, but feel guilty and are partly thinking, maybe I better not allow this, then the pie retains its " specialness " and the cravings continue. So it pays to question, why am I feeling guilty? What beliefs do I carry that contribute to non-helpful guilt feelings? > Because once the guilt is gone and the pie and the apple feel likeequal choices, we'll find that our food choices balance out over time, so then believing the pie will make us fat becomes a groundless fear. Worrying that it's all we'll want also becomes a groundless fear. > > When we have exactly what we want we will feel satisfied much sooner and end up eating less. I don't know if you've done this, but in my dieting days, if I wanted a piece of apple pie, I'd try an apple, then not satisfied, I'd try a grahm cracker with a little jelly, and then I'd still be unsatisfied and think, I'll compromise, just one cookie, and then sometimes my will power would work and I'd not have the pie, but plenty of other times I'd have the pie, and then, oh no! I blew it!! Now I can't resist all the foods I'm not allowed to have; I better get them all in because tomorrow I'm back on track! So of course when we have exactly what we want we end up eating a whole lot less and over the week's time, we've had a balance of many different foods and food groups. > > So if I eat something I don't normally have which seems energy dense, and the fear strikes, and it comes on pretty quickly and annoyingly, I just remember all of the above; I take a few deep breathes, and know that my fear of getting larger based on that one eating experience is based on an irrational belief. > > I have no idea if this long post will help anyone or not, but that's how I've dealt with fear of eating exactly what I want when I want it, and I let myself eat when not hungry too so that there's no " on " to go " off " of. I eat mostly when hungry, but I always know that I have full permission to eat when not hungry if that's my choice. > > A key to feeling satisfied with formally forbidden foods is to trust that you will always supply more and you will never again restrict the food. > > Oh, and in the past four years, I've always bought cantaloupe already cubed in the plastic container. Yesterday I bought a whole cantaloupe, which I haven't had in much more than four years, and guess what? I had some actual cravings for it!! lol I had never thought of it as a forbidden food so the cravings weren't intense, but I did have them :.) > > Our bodies are very sophisticated and will naturally cue us to have a balanced diet over time, all food groups included. If we've forbidden foods for a long while, there may be a temporary period of choosing those foods a bit more often, but the balance will even out over time! > > Laurie > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Fri, December 11, 2009 8:08:25 AM > Subject: Good Morning > > > Hi Mckella, welcome to the group. I totally relate with still feeling guilty about eating what you want. Literally, it is like foreign territory for me because I have always eaten " healthy. " I am actually a Dietitian, so that's both a blessing and a curse for me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Laurie, very well said!!!!! Sara > I think the difference is that when we give ourselves full and complete permission to have apple pie, the frantic cravings for it begin to diminish; in fact in time, and it doesn't take long if we're truly and honestly giving full permission, the cravings for it die altogether. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hi , It WAS easy, so simple and automatic, when we were babies or toddlers, but the world around us impacted us in ways that didn't foster this "easy" approach. So what was easy becomes complex and now we unravel the ways we dealt with food and the messages we got and so on. You're exactly right when you say the years and years of dieting makes it a challenge now; I had 18 years of dieting! yuck! But we're all doing so well!! We don't have to strive for perfection as Katcha said. We can even have some fun along the way and just relax, knowing that we're making progress. I know it's easier said than done :.) For me too. , I as SO happy that you had and enjoyed the lasagna and that it was ok for you, and even felt freeing!! You're right; that's a giant leap forward. Very awesome! I'm glad if some of what I wrote seems helpful to you; thanks for letting me know that :.) Laurie To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, December 11, 2009 3:20:25 PMSubject: Re: Good Morning Thank you so much Laurie! That was very helpful. It's crazy that it sounds and is so easy to eat what you want when I'm hungry, but my mind and years of dieting have made it so difficult. I am for the most part doing really well. Today I had some lasagna for lunch Normally I would never do that, but it was really good and I really like lasgna. I tried to just pay attention to how I felt and to my hunger. I had a little fear/anxiety, but this is HUGE progress. This whole last week has been a miracle, and I kind of feel like I'm back to my childhood thinking.... .. back when I allowed myself to eat anything. It's crazy how food takes on so much less of a meaning and hold less power when you allow freedom. Thank you so much for your insight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 thanks Sara, I've been resonating with what you say about stopping at comfortable satiety and think it's very wise. I forget your exact words but you're totally on target that any little bit of mental restricting makes it super hard to stop eating!! Thanks for that! laurie To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Fri, December 11, 2009 4:27:17 PMSubject: Re: Good Morning Laurie, very well said!!!!!Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2009 Report Share Posted December 15, 2009 I really liked the way you explained that. Thank you! It's always nice to be reminded of these things. The more I hear this stuff, and the more ways I hear it explained, the mmore it stays with me! > > Hi and McKella, > I understand the fear when it comes to eating whatever one wants. We're conditioned to believe that an apple will keep our weight under control but apple pie will cause us to balloon up in no time. We want the freedom that goes along with eating whatever we want, but how do we deal with the accompanying fear? > > Maybe we are afraid that once we start eating apple pie, we wont be able to stop; maybe the fear seems rational because we did binge on apple pie. > I think the difference is that when we give ourselves full and complete permission to have apple pie, the frantic cravings for it begin to diminish; in fact in time, and it doesn't take long if we're truly and honestly giving full permission, the cravings for it die altogether. We may still want apple pie sometimes, but it's much more just like an apple. We may want a nice, crunchy apple one day, and apple pie the next and both are equally fine choices, made freely, not from compulsion. > If we eat the pie, but feel guilty and are partly thinking, maybe I better not allow this, then the pie retains its " specialness " and the cravings continue. So it pays to question, why am I feeling guilty? What beliefs do I carry that contribute to non-helpful guilt feelings? > Because once the guilt is gone and the pie and the apple feel likeequal choices, we'll find that our food choices balance out over time, so then believing the pie will make us fat becomes a groundless fear. Worrying that it's all we'll want also becomes a groundless fear. > > When we have exactly what we want we will feel satisfied much sooner and end up eating less. I don't know if you've done this, but in my dieting days, if I wanted a piece of apple pie, I'd try an apple, then not satisfied, I'd try a grahm cracker with a little jelly, and then I'd still be unsatisfied and think, I'll compromise, just one cookie, and then sometimes my will power would work and I'd not have the pie, but plenty of other times I'd have the pie, and then, oh no! I blew it!! Now I can't resist all the foods I'm not allowed to have; I better get them all in because tomorrow I'm back on track! So of course when we have exactly what we want we end up eating a whole lot less and over the week's time, we've had a balance of many different foods and food groups. > > So if I eat something I don't normally have which seems energy dense, and the fear strikes, and it comes on pretty quickly and annoyingly, I just remember all of the above; I take a few deep breathes, and know that my fear of getting larger based on that one eating experience is based on an irrational belief. > > I have no idea if this long post will help anyone or not, but that's how I've dealt with fear of eating exactly what I want when I want it, and I let myself eat when not hungry too so that there's no " on " to go " off " of. I eat mostly when hungry, but I always know that I have full permission to eat when not hungry if that's my choice. > > A key to feeling satisfied with formally forbidden foods is to trust that you will always supply more and you will never again restrict the food. > > Oh, and in the past four years, I've always bought cantaloupe already cubed in the plastic container. Yesterday I bought a whole cantaloupe, which I haven't had in much more than four years, and guess what? I had some actual cravings for it!! lol I had never thought of it as a forbidden food so the cravings weren't intense, but I did have them :.) > > Our bodies are very sophisticated and will naturally cue us to have a balanced diet over time, all food groups included. If we've forbidden foods for a long while, there may be a temporary period of choosing those foods a bit more often, but the balance will even out over time! > > Laurie > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Sent: Fri, December 11, 2009 8:08:25 AM > Subject: Good Morning > > > Hi Mckella, welcome to the group. I totally relate with still feeling guilty about eating what you want. Literally, it is like foreign territory for me because I have always eaten " healthy. " I am actually a Dietitian, so that's both a blessing and a curse for me. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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