Guest guest Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Every time I go to my parent's house (every Sunday), I want to eat everything. I have great relationships with my family and going over there isn't stressful, but the place is full of expensive, snacky foods that I don't have at home because I can't afford them. My mom is an amazing cook and she always makes desserts that would put The Cheesecake Factory out of business. I'm usually not very hungry when I get there, but I end up munching on the trail mix in the cupboards, taking seconds at dinner and eating a good-sized piece of dessert. I always leave feeling uncomfortable. I think it's just the novelty of those foods, but I don't have the time or patience to cook those things and I can't afford a lot of them. Any tips? McKella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 McKella I am currently eating a bit more myself - of the 'treats' I am baking for holiday sharing. I LOVE to bake and sharing these treats with some of the wonderful people I am in contact with all year is an annual tradition that I love doing. And because I really don't want these bad enough to make them any other time of the year, I go a bit crazy and overeat them now. I have come to assure myself that this is 'normal' (whatever that is - lol) and will pass too. Food has long been associated with love and because many of the things you are finding are 'only there', eating them, even more than you 'should' (ha ha!!) sounds about usual for me. What you can try is to buy and stock one or two of these for yourself at home as a way to show yourself that you can have 'great treats' all the time too. Then they won't be so 'special' or better-get-them-all-now as they are at your parents? Best wishes - Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Every time I go to my parent's house (every Sunday), I want to eat everything. I have great relationships with my family and going over there isn't stressful, but the place is full of expensive, snacky foods that I don't have at home because I can't afford them. My mom is an amazing cook and she always makes desserts that would put The Cheesecake Factory out of business. I'm usually not very hungry when I get there, but I end up munching on the trail mix in the cupboards, taking seconds at dinner and eating a good-sized piece of dessert. I always leave feeling uncomfortable. I think it's just the novelty of those foods, but I don't have the time or patience to cook those things and I can't afford a lot of them. Any tips? > > McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Even though I’m in my 40s, I still raid my mum’s cupboards and fridge when we go to see her. I look at what she has, even though I’m not hungry. For me, I think that I’m triggered into replaying old behaviors from childhood, that I regress to being a child again and feel safe, loved and happy with all of these foods available to me. Before I started IE, consuming these foods was the way in which I experienced the safety, love and happiness of being with my mum. Now I seem to have developed a little so that I can (mostly) experience the feelings without having to eat them too. I’d never before realized that I had broken the connection – thank you. I don’t think I have any tips away from following IE practice, trusting yourself and being gentle with yourself to the extreme. If you think about how long we have all spent ingraining old patterns of behavior, it would be madness to expect to change them rapidly A great question to raise, thanks From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella kinch Sent: 14 December 2009 04:47 To: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Mom's house syndrome Every time I go to my parent's house (every Sunday), I want to eat everything. I have great relationships with my family and going over there isn't stressful, but the place is full of expensive, snacky foods that I don't have at home because I can't afford them. My mom is an amazing cook and she always makes desserts that would put The Cheesecake Factory out of business. I'm usually not very hungry when I get there, but I end up munching on the trail mix in the cupboards, taking seconds at dinner and eating a good-sized piece of dessert. I always leave feeling uncomfortable. I think it's just the novelty of those foods, but I don't have the time or patience to cook those things and I can't afford a lot of them. Any tips? McKella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I envy all of you who have moms with food in the house! My mom is still starving herself, and the only food she keeps around, my eldest son (who lives with her) eats. McKella, would your mom respond well to, 'Gee, mom, I just love these treats you keep around...but I want to be hungry for the great dinner you are cooking. Could I take a snack bag home to eat later?' Also, I found in my own legalization process, it was important to allocate funds for some foods. Would you be able to work that into your budget or put some christmas money towards it? Have fun! www.jenny-fair.blogspot.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I want to second 's suggestion that you ask if you can take some treats with you. This might feel uncomfortable for things that are in cupboards, left out as snacks but I you could treat mealtimes more like you are out at a restaurant. By this I mean, put as much food or dessert as you want on your plate (or as you feel you need emotionally to be satisfied). Then try to focus on intuitive eating to stop eating them when you're full and ask if you can bag your own leftovers to take home with you. That way you can feel the experience of as much food as you want and get to savor all the food you want without the pressure of needing to eat it all at once. Another thing that helps me sometime is to remind myself that I don't need to eat the food now because I will be able to eat it in the near future. This won't work for all your Mom's fabulous food but for snacks that are always at her house you can remind yourself that you can have more in only a week. Mostly though, I would try not to be judgmental of whatever you decided to eat (it's not good or evil, it's just food). Especially for things that are truly great and special- forcing yourself to completely avoid them will likely only lead to more problems. Cheers! ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks you guys, those are great tips. After I got back from Mom's last night, I journaled about the experience (Ive discovered that writing is my greatest IE tool, so I can work out my feelings). When I overeat at Mom's house, I'm seeking the safety and comfort I felt while living at home. I'm only 21 and I haven't been out of the house for even two years, so the feelings are still very fresh and sometimes I find being an adult and young wife to be very stressful. I even developed ann anxiety disorder because I got engaged, changed my major, moved out, and went on birth control all within a few months, and it was during a bad winter, so my winter blues made everything worse. I wrote down a few ideas, such as taking home leftovers if I'm not hungry and keeping some Mommy food around (Thanks Katcha), but also seeking that comfort in different ways, like playing with my younger siblings that still live there or spending time in my old room. Thanks for your help. I've only been in the group for a few days, but I love reading the posts and feeling like I have people who understand what I'm going through. The two people I'm closest to, my husband; a natural intuitive eater and food pusher, and my mother; a careful eater, aren't much help sometimes. McKella > > Even though I'm in my 40s, I still raid my mum's cupboards and fridge > when we go to see her. I look at what she has, even though I'm not > hungry. For me, I think that I'm triggered into replaying old behaviors > from childhood, that I regress to being a child again and feel safe, > loved and happy with all of these foods available to me. Before I > started IE, consuming these foods was the way in which I experienced the > safety, love and happiness of being with my mum. Now I seem to have > developed a little so that I can (mostly) experience the feelings > without having to eat them too. I'd never before realized that I had > broken the connection - thank you. > > > > I don't think I have any tips away from following IE practice, trusting > yourself and being gentle with yourself to the extreme. If you think > about how long we have all spent ingraining old patterns of behavior, it > would be madness to expect to change them rapidly > > > > A great question to raise, thanks > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: IntuitiveEating_Support > [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of mckella > kinch > Sent: 14 December 2009 04:47 > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Subject: Mom's house syndrome > > > > > > Every time I go to my parent's house (every Sunday), I want to eat > everything. I have great relationships with my family and going over > there isn't stressful, but the place is full of expensive, snacky foods > that I don't have at home because I can't afford them. My mom is an > amazing cook and she always makes desserts that would put The Cheesecake > Factory out of business. I'm usually not very hungry when I get there, > but I end up munching on the trail mix in the cupboards, taking seconds > at dinner and eating a good-sized piece of dessert. I always leave > feeling uncomfortable. I think it's just the novelty of those foods, > but I don't have the time or patience to cook those things and I can't > afford a lot of them. Any tips? > > > > McKella > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 What a great suggestion. I love to take a yummy coffee-type drink to friends or family members homes in that type of situation. KT > > I want to second 's suggestion that you ask if you can take some treats with you. This might feel uncomfortable for things that are in cupboards, left out as snacks but I you could treat mealtimes more like you are out at a restaurant. By this I mean, put as much food or dessert as you want on your plate (or as you feel you need emotionally to be satisfied). Then try to focus on intuitive eating to stop eating them when you're full and ask if you can bag your own leftovers to take home with you. That way you can feel the experience of as much food as you want and get to savor all the food you want without the pressure of needing to eat it all at once. > > Another thing that helps me sometime is to remind myself that I don't need to eat the food now because I will be able to eat it in the near future. This won't work for all your Mom's fabulous food but for snacks that are always at her house you can remind yourself that you can have more in only a week. Mostly though, I would try not to be judgmental of whatever you decided to eat (it's not good or evil, it's just food). Especially for things that are truly great and special- forcing yourself to completely avoid them will likely only lead to more problems. > > Cheers! > ~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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