Re: what would you have done?

[Guest guest]

So many helpful responses, thank you. I just want to respond to

's in particular because ...

wrote:

> In my

> humble opinion, as long as you are eating what you want, when you

> want without feeling guilty you are staying true to the IE

> principles. That being said, sometimes going out and getting food we

> want at the last minute isn't convenient or practical and that is

> okay too. As long as it isn't a deprivation tactic/excuse in

> disguise.

this was really really helpful, exactly what I needed to hear.

Sometimes I need myself explained to myself .

> hardest time for me. Early on in my marriage, I used to regularly

> make these elaborate dinners for me and my hubby (in retrospect I

> jokingly call it new-bride syndrome.) Sometimes it worked out okay,

> but not very often. Most of the times life would get in the way,

> because even though I would try to plan them accordingly so we could

> enjoy a nice meal together, I would find out that a) I wouldn't be

> hungry for what I had planned to make he would get stuck in

> traffic or have to work later than planned c) I wouldn't be done

> working in time to make it d) I wouldn't feel like cooking it e) I

> would be starving before the dinner was even made. I would make the

> dinner anyhow out of guilt because I thought I should eat something

> healthy. This would result in overeating a bunch of junk and then

> eating the dinner anyhow because I felt guilty or finally f) he would

> come home and just want to eat junk, go out to eat or would want to

> make an entirely different meal.

>

I have had these exact experiences so many many times. I was raised

in a cooking-from-scratch household and I pride myself on being a

pretty decent cook, but my husband is such a typical intuitive eater,

it sometimes seems that he is just refusing to be rewarded by food or

interested in it. we keep irregular hours, and sometimes if I had

said I will make a particular dinner, I felt I had to no matter how

hungry I was or how long it would take. So I snacked and snacked and

eventually didn't feel like eating at all, but of course did anyway.

lately I have been better about this, in that if he wants to eat

dinner with me (which is not something he is overly committed to) he

has to be home by a certain time or I will be too hungry. sometimes I

make dinner, sometimes he does when he gets home for both of us or

just him, if I decided to just have a bowl of cereal instead. (Having

variable schedules and no kids makes this a lot easier obviously).

interestingly, since paying more attention to IE in recent months, I

have found my interest in cooking and food wane a lot. I don't really

read the food section of the paper anymore. I spend a lot less effort

cooking overall. As you say though, it's not deprivation, it's just

disinterest.

thea

[Guest guest]

Funny is right - I don't find your post long winded either In fact

you have so much to share that I only wish you did it more often. Love

reading your posts any and every time -

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Oh girlfriend, your e-blabbings got nothin' on me, I am a long-winded

> diva. Now do you see why I only post twice a year ;-)?

>

> Have fun!

>

> IE since 2000

>

[Guest guest]

Thea, what great (self) insights! It can be difficult to stop and then

re-create new and more appropriate ways to have food in your life. My

guess is that your drives to cook will relax for a while, but will be

there for you when you do have interest in cooking. I'm a from scratch

cook and find its an 'art form' that I enjoy - when I want to do it ;-)

Best to you - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> > In my

> > humble opinion, as long as you are eating what you want, when you

> > want without feeling guilty you are staying true to the IE

> > principles. That being said, sometimes going out and getting food we

> > want at the last minute isn't convenient or practical and that is

> > okay too. As long as it isn't a deprivation tactic/excuse in

> > disguise.

>

> this was really really helpful, exactly what I needed to hear.

> Sometimes I need myself explained to myself .

>

> > hardest time for me. Early on in my marriage, I used to regularly

> > make these elaborate dinners for me and my hubby (in retrospect I

> > jokingly call it new-bride syndrome.) Sometimes it worked out okay,

> > but not very often. Most of the times life would get in the way,

> > because even though I would try to plan them accordingly so we could

> > enjoy a nice meal together, I would find out that a) I wouldn't be

> > hungry for what I had planned to make he would get stuck in

> > traffic or have to work later than planned c) I wouldn't be done

> > working in time to make it d) I wouldn't feel like cooking it e) I

> > would be starving before the dinner was even made. I would make the

> > dinner anyhow out of guilt because I thought I should eat something

> > healthy. This would result in overeating a bunch of junk and then

> > eating the dinner anyhow because I felt guilty or finally f) he would

> > come home and just want to eat junk, go out to eat or would want to

> > make an entirely different meal.

> >

>

> I have had these exact experiences so many many times. I was raised

> in a cooking-from-scratch household and I pride myself on being a

> pretty decent cook, but my husband is such a typical intuitive eater,

> it sometimes seems that he is just refusing to be rewarded by food or

> interested in it. we keep irregular hours, and sometimes if I had

> said I will make a particular dinner, I felt I had to no matter how

> hungry I was or how long it would take. So I snacked and snacked and

> eventually didn't feel like eating at all, but of course did anyway.

>

> lately I have been better about this, in that if he wants to eat

> dinner with me (which is not something he is overly committed to) he

> has to be home by a certain time or I will be too hungry. sometimes I

> make dinner, sometimes he does when he gets home for both of us or

> just him, if I decided to just have a bowl of cereal instead. (Having

> variable schedules and no kids makes this a lot easier obviously).

>

> interestingly, since paying more attention to IE in recent months, I

> have found my interest in cooking and food wane a lot. I don't really

> read the food section of the paper anymore. I spend a lot less effort

> cooking overall. As you say though, it's not deprivation, it's just

> disinterest.

>

> thea

>

[Guest guest]

Kim that is fabulous to read because its SO RIGHT. Its like the old

saying of 'watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of

themselves' - details build from the smallest into the larger picture.

Kudos to you for taking good care of yourself.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> ,

> Thanks for posting this. It's great to hear from someone who has

been practicing IE for a long time.

>  

> I'm committed to sticking to IE. I used to be a an anorexic, then a

binger/restricter. I am slowly getting my peace of mind back around

food. For now, I'm not overly concerned with my weight. I truly

understand that the emotional work has to come first!!

>  

> Kim

> IE since Aug 08