Re: Re: what would you have done?

[Guest guest]

WOW ! Thank you so much for sharing. There's a lot of IE wisdom in your words!

Subject: Re: what would you have done?To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Thursday, February 26, 2009, 11:41 AM

Dear Katcha,Thank you for your kind words. I have been reading your posts for more than a year now and I don't think you realize how motivating, dedicated, nonjudgmental, passionate, self-reflective and centering you are to me and to the thousands of other others on this blog. You seem to really get it and truly emulate what IE is about. I am 36 and have been doing IE for nine years. As a recovering anorexic who has a plethora of multifaceted food/body and exercising issues, I know that this is the only thing that truly works for me. But there are time periods in my life where I get complacent about the IE principles and slip back into old behaviors. It is wonderfully inspiring for me to read you and all of the rest of the newbie's posts every day. You all constantly remind me how very passionate I am about IE and how each day is different in our journeys. Most importantly, you all

remind me how we can learn from each other and support each others journeys. And for all the newbies out there...As a veteran IE'er, it took me a while for the light bulb to come on, but I have finally realized that we will never have it all figured out. Once you think you have it all figured out, watch out, because that is the day you will slowly slip right back into your bad habits. Trust me I know from experience, I am dealing with the repercussions as I type. We have to continue to stay centered on our own personal journeys and not worry about anyone else's journeys or get caught up in the latest diet. Each day and every food experience brings us closer to having a healthier relationship with food, our bodies and with ourselves. Like I said in my last post, I am struggling lately. I have gained a couple pounds because I have been unconsciously resulting back to depriving and overeating

coupled by bad body thoughts followed by over-exercising. Last year, I kind of got cocky and truly thought I had it all figured out, bad idea.. I stopped being mindful and all of a sudden I started getting all obsessed again. However, today I am trying to sit with my issues and am slowly coming out of my funk and I am slowly getting back on the IE track.. No matter what happens in my life, I will never (and I am not a girl that believes anyone should ever say "never') consciously beat my body up again and I will do whatever it takes to make sure I don't slip back into old habits. I haven't been on a diet for nine years and I don't think I ever will…That being said, I am committed to continue to traverse through my IE peaks and valleys. So I hope you all do the same!Just remember, much like any kind of addict (once I read the literary cannon on this topic I began to really understand we are

addicts...harsh word but true) a disordered eater will always have food issues. We all have suffered through some kind of disordering eating including dieting, under eating, overeating, compulsive binging, eating disorders, over-exercising, yo-yo dieting and/or depriving. These are the type of unhealthy behaviors people like us will always gravitate to when we need comfort, a veil or mask or a distraction from life's twists and turns, stressors, heartaches, let-downs, spouts of boredom or mundane routinesI know that talking about loosing weight is supposed to be counterproductive but most of us can admit that weight loss is one of the reasons we have gravitated to IE, including myself. I have read many posts throughout the year from people who aren't quite sure if IE really does work for weight loss. Trust me I believe that I should accept myself for my imperfections, and loving myself and all

that, but I am a realist…..I am all about staying thin (hello I was an anorexic ;-) people!!! So I can assure you that you will loose weight, you will keep it off, you will have a better relationship with food and IE truly is the answer to all of our "disordered eating" prayers!!! But as we all know IE is actually harder than any diet we have ever been on, because it takes some hard-core emotional WORK on a daily basis. It would be much easier just to eat what someone else tells you to. But being able to eat whatever I want whenever I want without feeing guilty or deprived while staying at a healthy weight that I am comfortable with is all worth it. So keep at it! Hope everyone has a peaceful, centered and IE kind of day.... Warmest Regards,> >> > Dear Thea,> > > > My husband has been commuting daily to another state for the past > > five years and I do my job from home, so this scenario is quite > > common in our house. I think your decision to be pseudo-mindful and > > practical was the right thing for you in that moment, under those > > circumstances, on that day. So good for you!> > > > On the other hand, if you would have gone out and bought the cake or > > made it and enjoyed it before dinner, and just sat with your hubby > > while he ate what you made that would have been fine too. In my > > humble opinion, as long as you are eating what you want, when you > > want without feeling guilty you are staying true to the IE > > principles. That being said, sometimes going out and

getting food we > > want at the last minute isn't convenient or practical and that is > > okay too. As long as it isn't a deprivation tactic/excuse in > > disguise. Your decision to post about this experience, even shows > > further that you are being mindful about the process. > > > > I am so glad you posted about dinnertime husband/family quandaries. > > After almost nine years of journeying through the peaks and vallies > > and trails and tribulations of IE'ing, dinnertime is still the > > hardest time for me. Early on in my marriage, I used to regularly > > make these elaborate dinners for me and my hubby (in retrospect I > > jokingly call it new-bride syndrome.) Sometimes it worked out okay, > > but not very often. Most of the times life would get in the way, > > because even though I would try to plan

them accordingly so we could > > enjoy a nice meal together, I would find out that a) I wouldn't be > > hungry for what I had planned to make he would get stuck in > > traffic or have to work later than planned c) I wouldn't be done > > working in time to make it d) I wouldn't feel like cooking it e) I > > would be starving before the dinner was even made. I would make the > > dinner anyhow out of guilt because I thought I should eat something > > healthy. This would result in overeating a bunch of junk and then > > eating the dinner anyhow because I felt guilty or finally f) he would > > come home and just want to eat junk, go out to eat or would want to > > make an entirely different meal.> > > > Today, we just live by the moment and we are more collaborative on > > what we both want to do

for dinner. This seems to work very well for > > us and we have saved a ton of money because we aren't throwing food > > away. If I decide to eat a brownie sundae for my dinner before my > > husband gets home, then that is okay, then I try to just have a diet > > coke, water or iced tea while he eats whatever he decides to make. > > > > I have to admit that I still struggle with sitting with my hubby or > > anybody else while they eat when I am not hungry. I think because I > > had a really bad eating disorder people used to pay so much attention > > to what I was eating and/or not eating, so I don't like the focus to > > be on me when I am not eating anything. Luckily he along with most of > > my friends are very supportive and knows my history of anorexia and > > understands I have a plethora

of food issues. So when I decide to sit > > in another room while he eats he gets it, but there are times when I > > have been able to sit with him and not eat anything and I am ok. One > > day I hope to be able to sit with people while they are eating and > > not have any issues, but unfortunately I don't think that will ever > > happen. I will always have issues with this, and I just need to keep > > with IE to help me through these rough times.> > > > Thea, I appreciate you sharing your story and remember every > > experience with food is an IE adventure and presents an opportunity > > to learn about yourself and your relationship with food. Keep up the > > good work. You are doing way better than I am...I am in a valley > > right now but that is another post ;-)> > > > Warmest

Regards,> > > > IE since 2000> >>

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[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for posting this. It's great to hear from someone who has been practicing IE for a long time.

I'm committed to sticking to IE. I used to be a an anorexic, then a binger/restricter. I am slowly getting my peace of mind back around food. For now, I'm not overly concerned with my weight. I truly understand that the emotional work has to come first!!

Kim

IE since Aug 08

Subject: Re: what would you have done?To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, February 26, 2009, 11:41 AM

Dear Katcha,Thank you for your kind words. I have been reading your posts for more than a year now and I don't think you realize how motivating, dedicated, nonjudgmental, passionate, self-reflective and centering you are to me and to the thousands of other others on this blog. You seem to really get it and truly emulate what IE is about. I am 36 and have been doing IE for nine years. As a recovering anorexic who has a plethora of multifaceted food/body and exercising issues, I know that this is the only thing that truly works for me. But there are time periods in my life where I get complacent about the IE principles and slip back into old behaviors. It is wonderfully inspiring for me to read you and all of the rest of the newbie's posts every day. You all constantly remind me how very passionate I am about IE and how each day is different in our journeys. Most importantly, you all

remind me how we can learn from each other and support each others journeys. And for all the newbies out there...As a veteran IE'er, it took me a while for the light bulb to come on, but I have finally realized that we will never have it all figured out. Once you think you have it all figured out, watch out, because that is the day you will slowly slip right back into your bad habits. Trust me I know from experience, I am dealing with the repercussions as I type. We have to continue to stay centered on our own personal journeys and not worry about anyone else's journeys or get caught up in the latest diet. Each day and every food experience brings us closer to having a healthier relationship with food, our bodies and with ourselves. Like I said in my last post, I am struggling lately. I have gained a couple pounds because I have been unconsciously resulting back to depriving and overeating

coupled by bad body thoughts followed by over-exercising. Last year, I kind of got cocky and truly thought I had it all figured out, bad idea. I stopped being mindful and all of a sudden I started getting all obsessed again. However, today I am trying to sit with my issues and am slowly coming out of my funk and I am slowly getting back on the IE track. No matter what happens in my life, I will never (and I am not a girl that believes anyone should ever say "never') consciously beat my body up again and I will do whatever it takes to make sure I don't slip back into old habits. I haven't been on a diet for nine years and I don't think I ever will…That being said, I am committed to continue to traverse through my IE peaks and valleys. So I hope you all do the same!Just remember, much like any kind of addict (once I read the literary cannon on this topic I began to really understand we are

addicts...harsh word but true) a disordered eater will always have food issues. We all have suffered through some kind of disordering eating including dieting, under eating, overeating, compulsive binging, eating disorders, over-exercising, yo-yo dieting and/or depriving. These are the type of unhealthy behaviors people like us will always gravitate to when we need comfort, a veil or mask or a distraction from life's twists and turns, stressors, heartaches, let-downs, spouts of boredom or mundane routinesI know that talking about loosing weight is supposed to be counterproductive but most of us can admit that weight loss is one of the reasons we have gravitated to IE, including myself. I have read many posts throughout the year from people who aren't quite sure if IE really does work for weight loss. Trust me I believe that I should accept myself for my imperfections, and loving myself and all

that, but I am a realist…..I am all about staying thin (hello I was an anorexic ;-) people!!! So I can assure you that you will loose weight, you will keep it off, you will have a better relationship with food and IE truly is the answer to all of our "disordered eating" prayers!!! But as we all know IE is actually harder than any diet we have ever been on, because it takes some hard-core emotional WORK on a daily basis. It would be much easier just to eat what someone else tells you to. But being able to eat whatever I want whenever I want without feeing guilty or deprived while staying at a healthy weight that I am comfortable with is all worth it. So keep at it! Hope everyone has a peaceful, centered and IE kind of day.... Warmest Regards,> >> > Dear Thea,> > > > My husband has been commuting daily to another state for the past > > five years and I do my job from home, so this scenario is quite > > common in our house. I think your decision to be pseudo-mindful and > > practical was the right thing for you in that moment, under those > > circumstances, on that day. So good for you!> > > > On the other hand, if you would have gone out and bought the cake or > > made it and enjoyed it before dinner, and just sat with your hubby > > while he ate what you made that would

have been fine too. In my > > humble opinion, as long as you are eating what you want, when you > > want without feeling guilty you are staying true to the IE > > principles. That being said, sometimes going out and getting food we > > want at the last minute isn't convenient or practical and that is > > okay too. As long as it isn't a deprivation tactic/excuse in > > disguise. Your decision to post about this experience, even shows > > further that you are being mindful about the process. > > > > I am so glad you posted about dinnertime husband/family quandaries. > > After almost nine years of journeying through the peaks and vallies > > and trails and tribulations of IE'ing, dinnertime is still the > > hardest time for me. Early on in my marriage, I used to regularly > > make these elaborate dinners for me and

my hubby (in retrospect I > > jokingly call it new-bride syndrome.) Sometimes it worked out okay, > > but not very often. Most of the times life would get in the way, > > because even though I would try to plan them accordingly so we could > > enjoy a nice meal together, I would find out that a) I wouldn't be > > hungry for what I had planned to make he would get stuck in > > traffic or have to work later than planned c) I wouldn't be done > > working in time to make it d) I wouldn't feel like cooking it e) I > > would be starving before the dinner was even made. I would make the > > dinner anyhow out of guilt because I thought I should eat something > > healthy. This would result in overeating a bunch of junk and then > > eating the dinner anyhow because I felt guilty or finally f) he would > > come home

and just want to eat junk, go out to eat or would want to > > make an entirely different meal.> > > > Today, we just live by the moment and we are more collaborative on > > what we both want to do for dinner. This seems to work very well for > > us and we have saved a ton of money because we aren't throwing food > > away. If I decide to eat a brownie sundae for my dinner before my > > husband gets home, then that is okay, then I try to just have a diet > > coke, water or iced tea while he eats whatever he decides to make. > > > > I have to admit that I still struggle with sitting with my hubby or > > anybody else while they eat when I am not hungry. I think because I > > had a really bad eating disorder people used to pay so much attention > > to what I was eating and/or not eating, so I

don't like the focus to > > be on me when I am not eating anything. Luckily he along with most of > > my friends are very supportive and knows my history of anorexia and > > understands I have a plethora of food issues. So when I decide to sit > > in another room while he eats he gets it, but there are times when I > > have been able to sit with him and not eat anything and I am ok. One > > day I hope to be able to sit with people while they are eating and > > not have any issues, but unfortunately I don't think that will ever > > happen. I will always have issues with this, and I just need to keep > > with IE to help me through these rough times.> > > > Thea, I appreciate you sharing your story and remember every > > experience with food is an IE adventure and presents an opportunity >

> to learn about yourself and your relationship with food. Keep up the > > good work. You are doing way better than I am...I am in a valley > > right now but that is another post ;-)> > > > Warmest Regards,> > > > IE since 2000> >>

[Guest guest]

i've noticed that when i get very hungry, particularly right after exercise, i ALWAYS crave something sweet. but then when i eat it, i dont particularly feel better -- i'm still hungry.

 

so for me, when i'm really hungry and craving something sweet, i tend to at least think about that this is my body saying it needs some calories RIGHT NOW, ie i've got low blood sugar. high sugar items tend to bump up the blood sugar quickly. so i think there is a biochemical reason, at least in addition, to some of these cravings.

 

i still honor mine with sweets sometimes, but sometimes i go for whole wheat toast with peanut butter instead (which i also love, but dont tend to crave when i'm starving like that), and i always feel better when i go for the latter. with the former i dont feel as well afterwards.

 

so for me, i try to at least differentiate true cravings for my body screaming for the quickest blood sugar rush it can think of.

So many helpful responses, thank you. I just want to respond to's in particular because ... wrote:> In my > humble opinion, as long as you are eating what you want, when you > want without feeling guilty you are staying true to the IE

> principles. That being said, sometimes going out and getting food we > want at the last minute isn't convenient or practical and that is > okay too. As long as it isn't a deprivation tactic/excuse in

> disguise. this was really really helpful, exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes I need myself explained to myself . > hardest time for me. Early on in my marriage, I used to regularly > make these elaborate dinners for me and my hubby (in retrospect I > jokingly call it new-bride syndrome.) Sometimes it worked out okay,

> but not very often. Most of the times life would get in the way, > because even though I would try to plan them accordingly so we could > enjoy a nice meal together, I would find out that a) I wouldn't be

> hungry for what I had planned to make he would get stuck in > traffic or have to work later than planned c) I wouldn't be done > working in time to make it d) I wouldn't feel like cooking it e) I

> would be starving before the dinner was even made. I would make the > dinner anyhow out of guilt because I thought I should eat something > healthy. This would result in overeating a bunch of junk and then

> eating the dinner anyhow because I felt guilty or finally f) he would > come home and just want to eat junk, go out to eat or would want to > make an entirely different meal.> I have had these exact experiences so many many times. I was raised

in a cooking-from-scratch household and I pride myself on being apretty decent cook, but my husband is such a typical intuitive eater,it sometimes seems that he is just refusing to be rewarded by food orinterested in it. we keep irregular hours, and sometimes if I had

said I will make a particular dinner, I felt I had to no matter howhungry I was or how long it would take. So I snacked and snacked andeventually didn't feel like eating at all, but of course did anyway.

lately I have been better about this, in that if he wants to eatdinner with me (which is not something he is overly committed to) hehas to be home by a certain time or I will be too hungry. sometimes Imake dinner, sometimes he does when he gets home for both of us or

just him, if I decided to just have a bowl of cereal instead. (Havingvariable schedules and no kids makes this a lot easier obviously).interestingly, since paying more attention to IE in recent months, Ihave found my interest in cooking and food wane a lot. I don't really

read the food section of the paper anymore. I spend a lot less effortcooking overall. As you say though, it's not deprivation, it's justdisinterest.thea