a realization

[Guest guest]

hi guys, I've been quiet for a while but reading the posts ... I broke my toe 2 weeks ago then came down with a UTI last week so it's been a rough patch!  Something interesting happened this weekend that I had some realizations regarding how I interact with people (and particularly my family) ... some of you may remember some of my previous posts about some fights my husband and I have had in the past months.  Well, last night  DH had a yelling hissy fit  about how the house was a " freaking disaster " and ranted and raved that it's because I just " don't care " and am " waiting for someone else to do it " .  I'm thinkin " hello??! have YOU ever tried sweeping and mopping with a broken foot?  do it yourself!! "   LOL

 

This time rather than get upset or defensive, I stood my ground and told him he was full of BS (particularly since he didn't raise a finger to pitch in while I couldn't walk), and that he wouldn't believe how much time I spend just cleaning up after HIM much less the rest of the house.  Well, he offered (loudly) to " switch jobs " with me as if I obviously just don't understand how hard his lot is ... basically, pay the bills, do the weekly grocery shopping and do about 70% of the cooking.  I wonder if he's still happy with his " deal " after I sent him the list of my routines? LOLOLOL (laundry for 6, 4 bathrooms, dust,sweep,and polish a 3 story house).  I think he's nuts to swap jobs that he can do at work for stuff that has to be done at home, but I'm thrilled to let him scrub toilets while I write checks

 

I didn't sleep well last night but I wasn't sad, tearful, or AFRAID - just mad!  And I really think that I'm bringing these issues out in the open after 10 years because Intuitive Eating is really Intuitive Living and as I confront the feelings that I used to eat over, I'm becoming more confident regarding boundaries with expectations.  So when he gets his undies in a wad about something (especially something I don't consider " mine " ), I am starting to confront issues instead of getting defensive (while sounding guilty about not having already done it).  So after an escalting cycle over the past few months, we are actually DOING something besides extracting a tearful, martyred " promise " from me to " do better " !

 

Maybe it sounds weird to be happy about a fight, but somehow I feel like a boxer who took a blow standing up instead cowering in the corner with my arms over my head, and it feels good

 

Mikki