Re: some ups and downs + looking for a one-on-one buddy

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Gosh Sylv,good for you and thanks for your honesty...have you thought about OA....it definitely helps with accountability and rigorous and personal support.Cheers and hang tough! "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls" ~ ph  Subject: some ups and downs + looking for a one-on-one buddyTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, April 3, 2009, 1:24 PM

Dear friends,

First of all I want to thank all the people who replied to my previous post, "what if the holes can't be filled"?

Everyones writing was thought provoking and encouraging.

I just had a great week and then a major downfall yesterday and today.

I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.

But I guess it's the typical 2 steps forward, one step back.

A break through I had was that I realized that I really don't want to be skinny. I've been trying to abuse myself to impress everybody else but my something deep inside of me doesn't appreciate that so I end up binging. I'm now working towards a healthy sporty figure that should fit my body type and personality and let me eat in a more healthful manner.(but it's not always so easy because the part of me that strives to be skin and bones won't always stay quiet).

I always binge alone and nobody I know knows about it.

But I think I am having trouble fighting this alone.

Reading messages and posting on the listserve has been really helpful but I am looking for a buddy to have closer contact with.

I envision a relationship with daily emails voicing struggles, progress, ideas, encouragement, and venting to prevent a binge or post binge. They don't have to be extensive emails, in fact brief messages could be ideal, but I'd just like to have someone I know I am accountable to as a supporter and for support.

Is anybody interested in such a thing?

A little bit about myself: I am a 23 year old medical student (stressful). My path to binging was basically: casual dieting --> obsessive about health --> unhealthy lack of eating --> binging.

I binge most when I am stressed or overwhelmed or when I get very hungry.

I think a lot of it is stirred on by my loneliness and lack of meaning in life.

Yet, I know that I am constantly pushing people away as soon as I feel like they're getting to close.

I'm working on the meaning factor but it's tough after growing up in religious family and then rejecting that lifestyle.

I don't necessarily need a buddy who's the same age/shares the same lifestyle... just wanted to tell you who you'd be talking to...

If anyone is interested please email me syl@....

Have a wonderful weekend!

Sylv