Re: Oh help!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Chrystin,I don't know that I am the best one to give advice but my thought is... be patient. With your self and also with the process. Not to mention your weight. I think it is extremely common to put on weight in the beginning. For one thing, if you have been in the habit of dieting [previously], not dieting can mess with your metabolism for a while. Also, the process of legalizing food AND legalizing the eating process itself... learning to relax about eating, and to enjoy it... is a learning process. 

Something that took me a while to figure out is that I dont necessarily HAVE to always eat what I feel like. Like, when I am really hungry, sometimes candy or other quick sugar sounds very appealing. But I have found that when I eat that when I am very hungry, I feel worse afterwards. So now I have a little conversation with myself where I say, " Ok, you can have candy, if you really want it. But remember how it made you feel last time? Are you sure you want it? " So I am not making any food forbidden, but I am also practicing some form of gentle nutrition. Likewise, I might offer myself some vegetables even if I am not craving them per se, as long as they don't sound unappealing, either.  

Do you think that maybe you can let go of worrying about what you are going to look like down the road, and try to be present with the process now? I know it is hard! Keep reading the IE book. I found Geneen Roth's books helpful and reassuring, too. She talks about eating nothing but cookie dough for two weeks... and she gained weight initially, and lost it and returned to her normal weight maybe 6 months down the road. She has a lot of smart and interesting things to say.

I was nervous, too, about not looking on the outside like a person that has food issues... And I, too, enjoy exercise very much, for its own sake. But I think everyone here is intuitive enough to know that it's on the inside that matters... for good points and bad. 

The beginning of this journey was the hardest for me... hang in there! And good luck!Abby

 

So, I've been doing this for a little while now and I was doing well at the start- HA- just like a diet! I was eating what I wanted when I wanted and didn't have much urge to binge, though I did still eat more than I probably " needed " . But I didn't stress about it. I did my best to eat mindfully. I had put on a little weight, but I was Ok with that. I still was working out 5-6 days a week because I love it and it makes me feel good and I like to be strong. Went on vacation, did fine. Ate freely and abundantly but not like the world was ending. Something happened since then because I've put on more weight (clothes are telling me because I put the scale, measuring tape and fat calipers away in the attic) I think as a result of me starting to feel bad about my body again. I've had a few incidents of bingeing and the snowballing continues... I've had MORE than a few thoughts today of scrapping this whole thing and restricting my diet again but I know that this is probably the worst time to change my eating habits (directly post-binge)- all too reminiscent of dieting days.

Long story short.... and don't hate me for saying this but I was not fat or even close to it before I started this. In fact I was very lean. I prided myself on being an athlete. I started this because despite my appearance I was a train wreck on the inside and I felt that my eating habits lacked a healthy balance because I viewed food in an overly emotional way. I either loved it(binge) or hated and feared it(postbinge). At the same time, I don't want to just accept that I have to carry excess weight that makes me feel uncomfortable because I have to go through this process of eating whatever I feel like.

Any input??

[Guest guest]

Hi Chrystin,

Thank you for your willingness to share this and to ask for help, I know it is hard. I know there are other members here who have gone through something similar and most of us have had the fears that the weight would just continue to go up with no stopping if we continued intuitive eating. I think you may have your answer of at least why it's happening, you mentioned how you are feeling about your body. It sounds like something is triggering you and often when we are trying to avoid or push away something we don't want to deal with (like difficult emotions) we focus on our bodies instead. So instead of feeling the feelings, we beat ourselves up about our bodies, try to find control through thoughts of dieting, or even try to push the feelings down by eating. And of course, we could engage in all three of those behaviors! I know I did all three quite often.

So if you suspect there is something else going on in your life that you are avoiding, taking the time and space to deal with it may be helpful. And I know sometimes you can't just solve an issue, but allowing yourself to feel the feelings can really make a difference. And possibly even acceptance of the situation if you can't change it right now.

Whether it's an emotional situation or not, sometimes it really helps to go back to the basics. You've been doing this a while and sometimes it's easy to get complacent and not be as aware or intuitive about our eating. After many years of eating intuitively, I still have this happen. So it can be useful to go back and get a refresher on the basics of intuitive eating. Revisit the hunger scale, make sure you are tapped into what true hunger and satisfaction feel like for you. One thing I see often is if satisfied is a 6 on the hunger scale, some people are going to 7 just because they aren't as aware as when they started. (use whatever hunger scale you're used to, this is just an example) Reconnect with your favorite foods, make sure you haven't been depriving yourself without realizing it. If you are ok using a diary, track your food and/or hunger and fullness and moods, thoughts and feelings that come up during the day. If you don't like the diary, don't do it, it isn't essential, it's just a tool.

One other thing I would take a look at is your down time and self care. Are you taking time for yourself? Are you finding joy in the things you are doing? What do you do for fun? Often when my clients have been working on intuitive eating for some time and they have found some freedom from obsession with food there is just more time in their day! For example, they come home after work and don't know what to do with themselves because they used to come home, sit on the couch and eat the stress of the day away. There wasn't time for fun. And because of this, they have forgotten what fun is like and they have no idea what they want to do. It's really weird, but I really do see it all the time. We have to then work on finding those things they can do to have fun.

Anyway, hopefully you can find something here that is helpful. Any other questions, let us know!

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, "The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating" at http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of ChrystinSent: Monday, October 19, 2009 12:25 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Oh help!!

So, I've been doing this for a little while now and I was doing well at the start- HA- just like a diet! I was eating what I wanted when I wanted and didn't have much urge to binge, though I did still eat more than I probably "needed". But I didn't stress about it. I did my best to eat mindfully. I had put on a little weight, but I was Ok with that. I still was working out 5-6 days a week because I love it and it makes me feel good and I like to be strong. Went on vacation, did fine. Ate freely and abundantly but not like the world was ending. Something happened since then because I've put on more weight (clothes are telling me because I put the scale, measuring tape and fat calipers away in the attic) I think as a result of me starting to feel bad about my body again. I've had a few incidents of bingeing and the snowballing continues... I've had MORE than a few thoughts today of scrapping this whole thing and restricting my diet again but I know that this is probably the worst time to change my eating habits (directly post-binge)- all too reminiscent of dieting days.Long story short.... and don't hate me for saying this but I was not fat or even close to it before I started this. In fact I was very lean. I prided myself on being an athlete. I started this because despite my appearance I was a train wreck on the inside and I felt that my eating habits lacked a healthy balance because I viewed food in an overly emotional way. I either loved it(binge) or hated and feared it(postbinge). At the same time, I don't want to just accept that I have to carry excess weight that makes me feel uncomfortable because I have to go through this process of eating whatever I feel like. Any input??

[Guest guest]

Thanks Gillian for this response.

I was just thinking about revisiting basics as a way to sort of "give myself a shot in the arm" of the power that is central to being willing to be with what is...if that makes any sense -- hunger, not hungry, fear, shame, whatever.

I'm really appreciating this group just as a way to remind me that IE has a sort of structure of it's own -- in terms of the principles/basics -- my mind can make it into "i get to eat what I want whenever i want and that's the end of the story"...IE is a discipline just not in the way i sometimes think of the word discipline (i.e. punishment).

Liz

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: gillian@...Date: Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:50:22 -0700Subject: RE: Oh help!!

Hi Chrystin,

Thank you for your willingness to share this and to ask for help, I know it is hard. I know there are other members here who have gone through something similar and most of us have had the fears that the weight would just continue to go up with no stopping if we continued intuitive eating. I think you may have your answer of at least why it's happening, you mentioned how you are feeling about your body. It sounds like something is triggering you and often when we are trying to avoid or push away something we don't want to deal with (like difficult emotions) we focus on our bodies instead. So instead of feeling the feelings, we beat ourselves up about our bodies, try to find control through thoughts of dieting, or even try to push the feelings down by eating. And of course, we could engage in all three of those behaviors! I know I did all three quite often.

So if you suspect there is something else going on in your life that you are avoiding, taking the time and space to deal with it may be helpful. And I know sometimes you can't just solve an issue, but allowing yourself to feel the feelings can really make a difference. And possibly even acceptance of the situation if you can't change it right now.

Whether it's an emotional situation or not, sometimes it really helps to go back to the basics. You've been doing this a while and sometimes it's easy to get complacent and not be as aware or intuitive about our eating. After many years of eating intuitively, I still have this happen. So it can be useful to go back and get a refresher on the basics of intuitive eating. Revisit the hunger scale, make sure you are tapped into what true hunger and satisfaction feel like for you. One thing I see often is if satisfied is a 6 on the hunger scale, some people are going to 7 just because they aren't as aware as when they started. (use whatever hunger scale you're used to, this is just an example) Reconnect with your favorite foods, make sure you haven't been depriving yourself without realizing it. If you are ok using a diary, track your food and/or hunger and fullness and moods, thoughts and feelings that come up during the day. If you don't like the diary, don't do it, it isn't essential, it's just a tool.

One other thing I would take a look at is your down time and self care. Are you taking time for yourself? Are you finding joy in the things you are doing? What do you do for fun? Often when my clients have been working on intuitive eating for some time and they have found some freedom from obsession with food there is just more time in their day! For example, they come home after work and don't know what to do with themselves because they used to come home, sit on the couch and eat the stress of the day away. There wasn't time for fun. And because of this, they have forgotten what fun is like and they have no idea what they want to do. It's really weird, but I really do see it all the time. We have to then work on finding those things they can do to have fun.

Anyway, hopefully you can find something here that is helpful. Any other questions, let us know!

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, "The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating" at http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of ChrystinSent: Monday, October 19, 2009 12:25 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Oh help!!

So, I've been doing this for a little while now and I was doing well at the start- HA- just like a diet! I was eating what I wanted when I wanted and didn't have much urge to binge, though I did still eat more than I probably "needed". But I didn't stress about it. I did my best to eat mindfully. I had put on a little weight, but I was Ok with that. I still was working out 5-6 days a week because I love it and it makes me feel good and I like to be strong. Went on vacation, did fine. Ate freely and abundantly but not like the world was ending. Something happened since then because I've put on more weight (clothes are telling me because I put the scale, measuring tape and fat calipers away in the attic) I think as a result of me starting to feel bad about my body again. I've had a few incidents of bingeing and the snowballing continues... I've had MORE than a few thoughts today of scrapping this whole thing and restricting my diet again but I know that this is probably the worst time to change my eating habits (directly post-binge)- all too reminiscent of dieting days.Long story short.... and don't hate me for saying this but I was not fat or even close to it before I started this. In fact I was very lean. I prided myself on being an athlete. I started this because despite my appearance I was a train wreck on the inside and I felt that my eating habits lacked a healthy balance because I viewed food in an overly emotional way. I either loved it(binge) or hated and feared it(postbinge). At the same time, I don't want to just accept that I have to carry excess weight that makes me feel uncomfortable because I have to go through this process of eating whatever I feel like. Any input??

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[Guest guest]

Thanks for posting this. I've had an 'ah ha' moment. I was going to this

boxing club (I love this work out, girls only, the instructor is awesome and a

great release) I could make it one night a week as I'm a shift worker and did it

for three weeks. I lost weight without even trying then I started stressing and

put weight back on and I didn't know what I was stressing about. Your

statements made me realize I was stressing about me and my weight as once I

realized I was losing weight I started stressing myself out to lose more weight

then the thing I enjoyed became an annoyance and I tried other avenues that

annoyed me even more when all I need is this one work out as it makes me feel

great for the whole week but when I miss I feel it, I feel blah.

Thanks,

Jo.

>

> So, I've been doing this for a little while now and I was doing well at the

start- HA- just like a diet! I was eating what I wanted when I wanted and

didn't have much urge to binge, though I did still eat more than I probably

" needed " . But I didn't stress about it. I did my best to eat mindfully. I had

put on a little weight, but I was Ok with that. I still was working out 5-6

days a week because I love it and it makes me feel good and I like to be strong.

Went on vacation, did fine. Ate freely and abundantly but not like the world

was ending. Something happened since then because I've put on more weight

(clothes are telling me because I put the scale, measuring tape and fat calipers

away in the attic) I think as a result of me starting to feel bad about my body

again. I've had a few incidents of bingeing and the snowballing continues...

I've had MORE than a few thoughts today of scrapping this whole thing and

restricting my diet again but I know that this is probably the worst time to

change my eating habits (directly post-binge)- all too reminiscent of dieting

days.

>

> Long story short.... and don't hate me for saying this but I was not fat or

even close to it before I started this. In fact I was very lean. I prided

myself on being an athlete. I started this because despite my appearance I was

a train wreck on the inside and I felt that my eating habits lacked a healthy

balance because I viewed food in an overly emotional way. I either loved

it(binge) or hated and feared it(postbinge). At the same time, I don't want to

just accept that I have to carry excess weight that makes me feel uncomfortable

because I have to go through this process of eating whatever I feel like.

>

> Any input??

>