Guest guest Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 Who's Computer? > Comedians of the 1930's through the1950's Bud Abbott and Lou Costello did a comedy sketch about baseball called " Who's on First? " It might have turned out something like this in our day of mobile phones and computers: > > COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . . > ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you? > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. > ABBOTT: Mac? > COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. > ABBOTT: Your computer? > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. > ABBOTT: Mac? > COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. > ABBOTT: What about Windows? > COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? > COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows? > ABBOTT: A desktop and wallpaper. > COSTELLO: I already have a desk with a large top, so never mind the windows with the computer. I just need a computer and software. > ABBOTT: Software for Windows? > COSTELLO: No. For the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? > ABBOTT: Office. > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? > ABBOTT: I just did. > COSTELLO: You just did what? > ABBOTT: Recommend something. > COSTELLO: You recommended something? > ABBOTT: Yes. > COSTELLO: For my office? > ABBOTT: Yes. > COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? > ABBOTT: Office. > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! > ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. > COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? > ABBOTT: Word. > COSTELLO: What word? > ABBOTT: The Word in Office. > COSTELLO: The only word in office is " office " . > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. > COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? I told you I don't want windows installed in my computer. > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue " W " . > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your " blue 'W' " if you don't start with some straight answers! OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the internet on this computer? > ABBOTT: Yes, you'll want Real One. > COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! > ABBOTT: Real One. > COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them? > ABBOTT: Of course. > COSTELLO: Great! With what? > ABBOTT: Real One. > COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? > ABBOTT: You click the blue " 1 " . > COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? > ABBOTT: The blue " 1 " . > COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue " W " ? > ABBOTT: The blue " 1 " is Real One and the blue " W " is Word. > COSTELLO: What word? > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. > COSTELLO: But there are three words in " office for windows " ! > ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. > COSTELLO: It is? > ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. > COSTELLO: And that word is " real one " ? > ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. > COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? > ABBOTT: Money. > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? > ABBOTT: Money. > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? > ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. > COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? > ABBOTT: Money. > COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? > ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? > ABBOTT: One copy. > COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? > ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. > COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? > ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! > > A FEW DAYS LATER . . > ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you? > COSTELLO: Your people set up this computer in my den and turned it on, but how do I turn it off? > ABBOTT: Click on " START " --- Incoming mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.735 / Virus Database: 489 - Release Date: 6/08/2004 --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.735 / Virus Database: 489 - Release Date: 6/08/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.