Re: It's a lot of work to self-care

[Guest guest]

Yes, Laurie, cooking at home can be time consuming, but at least you can control

how your food is prepared. There are only two in our household, but we cook

enough so that we have some good leftovers for day or two. The work is worth

it! Have to admit though we do keep frozen meals on hand just for the days

we're feeling lazy and don't feel like cooking!

All the best,

Jeanne

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I feel like it is A LOT of work to self-care; to cook, to do cleaning tasks,

and so on. I don't even have a family like lots of you (only two cute little

kittys) and I can't believe how long it takes to cook the meals that I really

want to have as I'm redoing the legalizing foods step.

>

> It isn't an issue of whether I deserve the care; I think I do (my mother

didn't think so but that was her problem). But I cooked chicken, mashed

potatoes, green beans, and it took a couple hours!!

>

> I'm used to neglecting myself re. cooking at home; used to grabbing a bite out

:.)

>

> Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked meals,

and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of time? Some of

you will probably feel, what's she griping about she doesn't have kids and

family.

>

> Thanks,

> Laurie

>

[Guest guest]

lori wrote:

> Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked

> meals, and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of

> time?

Yes. It got me thinking that maybe " self-care " doesn't mean having to

eat a lot of self-cooked meals if you think that's a hassle and you'd

rather sit in front of your computer playing games. I don't see how

working in the kitchen and spending my time shopping for food is any

more self-care than doing what I really want to do after leaving work.

When I'm tired and just want to read a book, it doesn't feel exactly

like self-care dragging myself out of the house, shopping for food and

then preparing it. Also getting a hair cut feels more like a chore than

anything when I would prefer cuddling the dog instead.

I think " self-care " can mean a lot of different things and when you hate

preparing food for yourself after a stressful day instead of ordering a

pizza and reading while waiting for it to arrive I wouldn't say that you

hold the opinion that you're " not worth the hassle " . You simply chose

being lazy (a kind of self-care, too) over cooking for yourself and

decided to spend money for yourself (being " worth it " ) to order a pizza.

> Some of you will probably feel, what's she griping about she

> doesn't have kids and family.

I don't have kids to care for. I can understand what you're talking

about.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Laurie, I do enjoy cooking, always have (started on working 'toy' stove when I

was 5 years old). But beyond that, other reasons I continue to cook are 1)

preference of tastes - I can make the food the texture and seasoning that suits

me/us (hubby too) and 2) I can eat healthier food - cooking from scratch = less

processing/empty 'filler' etc.

Self care goes beyond doing everything for yourself. Its the spirit of taking

care of yourself, however you are able to do that. If I could find someone to

exercise for me I'd love it!! LOL!!!

I find it excellent that you are putting such great thought and willingness to

work with alternatives. That is self care as far as I am concerned

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I feel like it is A LOT of work to self-care; to cook, to do cleaning tasks,

and so on. I don't even have a family like lots of you (only two cute little

kittys) and I can't believe how long it takes to cook the meals that I really

want to have as I'm redoing the legalizing foods step.

>

> It isn't an issue of whether I deserve the care; I think I do (my mother

didn't think so but that was her problem). But I cooked chicken, mashed

potatoes, green beans, and it took a couple hours!!

>

> I'm used to neglecting myself re. cooking at home; used to grabbing a bite out

:.)

>

> Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked meals,

and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of time? Some of

you will probably feel, what's she griping about she doesn't have kids and

family.

>

> Thanks,

> Laurie

>

[Guest guest]

You make some good point about

self-care....

If I was single (or even just two of

us)....I would buy the highest quality “quick prep” meals that I loved – like maybe Bertolli....or even fresh tortellini....or some

supermarkets have fresh salad bars you can load up on.....

I don’t know as I would spend a lot of time cooking a meal – unless I craved something.

I agree – self-care can come in lots of ways. I’ve always turned to food and bingeing to self-care. When I

feel like eating now, I’m trying to ask myself, “What is it you’re really feeling?” “What is it you’re really wanting?”

Last night I wanted to eat...my husband

was leaving to go take care of his sick dad. I think I feel rejected when

he leaves – even though I KNOW it’s for a good cause. And I feel the stress of the

situation....with a sick relative...and I want to eat over the stress.

Plus we had nothing going on...and I felt a bit guilty and bored sitting

around.....

So after working through all of this, I

still wanted to eat, but I knew where it was coming from – and that helped.

Today is Day 3 for me of Intuitive

Eating. I love it. It’s going very well.

I am a binge eater – I can eat MASSIVE quantities of food. I’ve often said I can out-eat a pro football player. But I don’t purge....So my IE goal for now is to avoid bingeing....

I re-posted someone’s post (was it ’s?) post the other day on Facebook:

“I choose to be completely peaceful with food. I will no

longer apply negative labels to the foods I choose to eat. I will allow

my body’s cravings to guide my

food choices, with no judgment. I will eat what I want, as soon as I’m hungry, until I’m satisfied.”

And I got the scariest replies!

From the “gym rats” who exercise a million times a day...and those who obsessively

diet...and those who hate their bodies...and those who run “guilt miles” to make up for what they ate.

It was actually VERY SAD to read their

posts. Almost every one of them said some version of “Don’t do it!”

I was shocked. I was thinking it

was such a forward-thinking, inspirational post, esp. at this time of

year. And all I got was scary warnings in return.

One person clicked “like” – and that person is a friend who used to be overweight...and she

now Intuitively eats and she is the thinnest she has ever been. I think I’m sticking with her! She has no fear – eats exactly what she wants – and looks and feels great.

Jolene

Re:

It's a lot of work to self-care

lori <laurietess>

wrote:

> Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked

> meals, and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of

> time?

Yes. It got me thinking that maybe " self-care " doesn't mean having to

eat a lot of self-cooked meals if you think that's a hassle and you'd

rather sit in front of your computer playing games. I don't see how

working in the kitchen and spending my time shopping for food is any

more self-care than doing what I really want to do after leaving work.

When I'm tired and just want to read a book, it doesn't feel exactly

like self-care dragging myself out of the house, shopping for food and

then preparing it. Also getting a hair cut feels more like a chore than

anything when I would prefer cuddling the dog instead.

I think " self-care " can mean a lot of different things and when you

hate

preparing food for yourself after a stressful day instead of ordering a

pizza and reading while waiting for it to arrive I wouldn't say that you

hold the opinion that you're " not worth the hassle " . You simply chose

being lazy (a kind of self-care, too) over cooking for yourself and

decided to spend money for yourself (being " worth it " ) to order a

pizza.

> Some of you will probably feel, what's she griping about she

> doesn't have kids and family.

I don't have kids to care for. I can understand what you're talking

about.

Regards

s.

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[Guest guest]

Hi Jeanne,

I posted about cooking being hard work before I'd eaten, and after I ate, it was so good that I knew it was worth the effort. Thanks for the reply. Hope you're having a nice day!

Laurie

Subject: Re: It's a lot of work to self-careTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 8:10 AM

Yes, Laurie, cooking at home can be time consuming, but at least you can control how your food is prepared.

Jeanne

[Guest guest]

Jolene, I am happy to read your positive post. Its very hard to swim against the

tide (diet/exercise mentality), but when one is fighting the current, you can

get so focused that you don't see/find alternatives. Its a much longer swim back

to the beach if you go 'diagonal', but it will get you there when struggling to

the point of wearing out will drown you instead!

Those sad 'gym rats' (giggles, love that term - lol) are frightening people.

They have ALL their energies tied up in a single hope and focus. None of them

look in the zillion mirrors at the gym and see a DEAR PERSON, all they see is

someone who does not SEEM to fit into the IMAGE of desirable.

Congratulations on your awakening and re-focusing of energies towards the GOOD

of that DEAR person you are. For me Facebook's groups are too 'open' and don't

offer the support that I find here. It sounds like it can provide a good reality

check when it comes to 'social' feedback ;-)

Keep up your good self care efforts and thanks for sharing your IE journey with

us too.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> > Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked

> > meals, and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of

> > time?

>

> Yes. It got me thinking that maybe " self-care " doesn't mean having to

> eat a lot of self-cooked meals if you think that's a hassle and you'd

> rather sit in front of your computer playing games. I don't see how

> working in the kitchen and spending my time shopping for food is any

> more self-care than doing what I really want to do after leaving work.

>

> When I'm tired and just want to read a book, it doesn't feel exactly

> like self-care dragging myself out of the house, shopping for food and

> then preparing it. Also getting a hair cut feels more like a chore than

> anything when I would prefer cuddling the dog instead.

>

> I think " self-care " can mean a lot of different things and when you hate

> preparing food for yourself after a stressful day instead of ordering a

> pizza and reading while waiting for it to arrive I wouldn't say that you

> hold the opinion that you're " not worth the hassle " . You simply chose

> being lazy (a kind of self-care, too) over cooking for yourself and

> decided to spend money for yourself (being " worth it " ) to order a pizza.

>

> > Some of you will probably feel, what's she griping about she

> > doesn't have kids and family.

>

> I don't have kids to care for. I can understand what you're talking

> about.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

>

>

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

> Version: 9.0.709 / Virus Database: 270.14.86/2533 - Release Date: 11/29/09

> 01:49:00

>

[Guest guest]

Hi s.,

Yes, sometimes great self-care involves not cooking and having time for other things :.) I guess cook when in the mood to cook, and order a pizza when the home cooking will interfere with something important that I want to do.

Though yesterday, after cooking, when I ate what I made it was highly satisfying and I ended up, on hindsight, glad that I'd cooked.

thanks for your reply :.)

Hope your day is going nicely :.) I may buy a Christmas tree today :.)

Laurie> Does anyone else feel like, though it's worth it to have home cooked> meals, and it's worth it to self-care, that sometimes it takes a lot of> time? Yes. It got me thinking that maybe "self-care" doesn't mean having toeat a lot of self-cooked meals if you think that's a hassle and you'drather sit in front of your computer playing games. I don't see howworking in the kitchen and spending my time shopping for food is anymore self-care than doing what I really want to do after leaving work.When I'm tired and just want to read a book, it doesn't feel exactlylike self-care dragging myself out of the house, shopping for food andthen preparing it.

[Guest guest]

lol, I like the idea of a stand-in for exercising sometimes too :.) How about a clone of myself so I can do twice as much with equal amount of effort? lol

Yes, what I realized, after I ate last night, was that I preferred my home cooking because it did come out exactly the way I wanted it. And I like cooking. I was noticing the time committment which it takes. But I think it's worth it more often than not. Sometimes it is better to order a pizza, lol.

thanks Katcha,

Laurie

Subject: Re: It's a lot of work to self-careTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 11:11 AM

Laurie, I do enjoy cooking, always have (started on working 'toy' stove when I was 5 years old). But beyond that, other reasons I continue to cook are 1) preference of tastes - I can make the food the texture and seasoning that suits me/us (hubby too) and 2) I can eat healthier food - cooking from scratch = less processing/empty 'filler' etc. Self care goes beyond doing everything for yourself. Its the spirit of taking care of yourself, however you are able to do that. If I could find someone to exercise for me I'd love it!! LOL!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Jolene,

I'm so very happy that you are liking IE!!! I think it is awesome that, even in the face of those negative responses, you are insightful enough to stick on the side of your friend who's doing great with IE!!!

I know their responses are sad; so sad that they are fighting with food, not enjoying the satisfaction of eating in a normal and healthy and pleasureable way.

I'm glad you are sticking around and committing to IE. I really believe it's a far better way than staying stuck in the struggles with food and weight obsession.

Thanks for comments re self-care.

Laurie

Subject: RE: It's a lot of work to self-careTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009, 11:30 AM

You make some good point about self-care... .

If I was single (or even just two of us)....I would buy the highest quality “quick prep†meals that I loved – like maybe Bertolli.... or even fresh tortellini.. ..or some supermarkets have fresh salad bars you can load up

on.....

I don’t know as I would spend a lot of time cooking a meal – unless I craved something.

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about people's reactions to IE. My mom is totally opposed

to it. She believes I'll just gain and gain and gain forever, where will it

end? The ironic part is that a lifetime of starvation diets, and my mom weighs

well over 300 pounds. And she's so derisive of other people's weights, even

when they're just a few pounds over where society believes they should be. It's

beyond belief. I know down deep that this stems from her own self-hatred, but

it's so illogical. No matter how much diets fail her, she just can't give up

her faith in them. She honestly believes that the problem is her, not the diet.

And when I talk about dieting research failure rates, she points to my sister,

who happens to be bulimic. When I point this out she says, oh I don't think she

does that anymore. It's very frustrating. I try very hard to not care what she

thinks, but it's really hard to stop chasing your mother's acceptance. It's

just so hard, but I do plan to reach that goal one day.

Sara

> And I got the scariest replies! From the " gym rats " who exercise a million

> times a day...and those who obsessively diet...and those who hate their

> bodies...and those who run " guilt miles " to make up for what they ate.

>

>

>