Guest guest Posted January 14, 2004 Report Share Posted January 14, 2004 check your private email w/ my reply. lori h. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 Dear all, Mandy was NOT banned for speaking her mind or due to the topic of the gelatin thread. She was banned for attacking someone (Lori, ONE of the several moderators of this group) viciously and maliciously. THAT can't be tolerated. All Lori did was privately ask Mandy to take her topic private. Writing someone privately to ask them to tone down, or stop posting something inappropriate, or some other behavior that is problematic, is perfectly acceptable and done all the time (I moderate 3 groups and several of my friends are moderators as well. None of us (me or my friends) moderate this group in any way, we are in New Jersey and moderate out local groups, plus I am moderator of a group started in Oregon, and another one in California) and in checking with my moderator friends, I have learned that this is done all the time. Anyway, Mandy took Lori's simple PRIVATE request, and, rather than answer her privately where no conflict would have been witnessed in the group and they could have dialoged about it, she brought it public. Now, bringing it public would not have been so bad, but doing it viciously and maliciously was what caused the problem. We are free to say anything we want here. You can see that by the hot feelings this banning has created. No one is being censored or asked to stop. The group is minorly moderated and only for spam and personal attacks, as far as I can tell. I have to let you know that doing this kind of job (moderator) in a group with almost 2,000 members, is no easy task. Lori and the other moderators should be commended, not abused. The reason Mandy was asked to take the conversation off list was due to the ongoing, lengthy, verbose, research that she was posting, one after the other, when it was of interest to only a handful of people. She was not told not to discuss the topic, but rather, to address it to the few of you who expressed an interest in it. If you think about it, our surgeons, cross the board, have expressed the absolute need for protein and fluids. I have polled over 200 people in the past three weeks (since the thread started) and have not found one person among them (my surgeons included) who have heard that gelatin is a good source of protein for us. In fact, the research I have done in the past week due to the prevalence of the topic, has shown me that gelatin is NOT good source of protein for us. Yes, it's good for bones, etc., due to the collagen, but the message that was starting to come across in the postings when someone said she would not be trying the gelatin, was that she was making a mistake. This was Mandy's opinion, no one else's, and she was trying to convince this woman of the error of her ways. That's when we had the deluge of gelatin research hitting the board. So, from what I can see, yes, a few people were interested in the topic, but not so many that it had to be the ongoing theme of the month. For Mandy to have reacted so violently to a simple suggestion of taking the topic private, was just plain wrong. There is no way you can convince me otherwise. This group was formed by Di and Sue as a mechanism to help people who were new to the surgery, exploring their options, and learning about the surgery, to have a place to go and ask their questions and get help and support. People who stay post-op and offer support are always welcome because their advice and information from 'living it' are definitely invaluable. However, again, vicious and malicious attacks, no matter how angry someone makes you, are not acceptable, no matter who they come from. Sorry if you disagree. I liked Mandy too, but I would have banned her also if I was in a moderator position on this group. I don't accept unacceptable behavior from anyone. At times, like in any family, there will be disagreements. If you disagree with someone, do you attack them or do you just express your disagreement in a civilized manner? Think about that before giving Lori any more of a hard time about this. It's all about attitude and Mandy's, when someone disagreed with her, was not acceptable. That's all I have to say on the subject. live each day like it's your last... love like you've never been hurt... Deb in Hazlet, NJ " Debbie Dancer " distal rny September 3, 2002 386/212/165 BMI 60/31/24 -174 -100 " Angel to Bill, Debbie, Ilene, Roy, and Ro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2004 Report Share Posted January 17, 2004 I know this subject has been discussed alot the last 24 hours, but can I just ask why Joan was banned, no one has discussed that. I enjoyed her posts, found myself watching her weight loss, just wondering why she is no longer here. And I too own a group and moderate in another, not weight loss groups, friends groups, and it can be a job, and thankless, especially with a group this large. Janice > Dear all, > > Mandy was NOT banned for speaking her mind or due to the topic of the > gelatin thread. She was banned for attacking someone (Lori, ONE of the > several moderators of this group) viciously and maliciously. THAT can't > be tolerated. All Lori did was privately ask Mandy to take her topic > private. > > Writing someone privately to ask them to tone down, or stop posting > something inappropriate, or some other behavior that is problematic, is > perfectly acceptable and done all the time (I moderate 3 groups and > several of my friends are moderators as well. None of us (me or my > friends) moderate this group in any way, we are in New Jersey and > moderate out local groups, plus I am moderator of a group started in > Oregon, and another one in California) and in checking with my moderator > friends, I have learned that this is done all the time. > > Anyway, Mandy took Lori's simple PRIVATE request, and, rather than > answer her privately where no conflict would have been witnessed in the > group and they could have dialoged about it, she brought it public. > Now, bringing it public would not have been so bad, but doing it > viciously and maliciously was what caused the problem. > > We are free to say anything we want here. You can see that by the hot > feelings this banning has created. No one is being censored or asked to > stop. The group is minorly moderated and only for spam and personal > attacks, as far as I can tell. > > I have to let you know that doing this kind of job (moderator) in a > group with almost 2,000 members, is no easy task. Lori and the other > moderators should be commended, not abused. > > The reason Mandy was asked to take the conversation off list was due to > the ongoing, lengthy, verbose, research that she was posting, one after > the other, when it was of interest to only a handful of people. She was > not told not to discuss the topic, but rather, to address it to the few > of you who expressed an interest in it. > > If you think about it, our surgeons, cross the board, have expressed the > absolute need for protein and fluids. I have polled over 200 people in > the past three weeks (since the thread started) and have not found one > person among them (my surgeons included) who have heard that gelatin is > a good source of protein for us. In fact, the research I have done in > the past week due to the prevalence of the topic, has shown me that > gelatin is NOT good source of protein for us. Yes, it's good for bones, > etc., due to the collagen, but the message that was starting to come > across in the postings when someone said she would not be trying the > gelatin, was that she was making a mistake. This was Mandy's opinion, > no one else's, and she was trying to convince this woman of the error of > her ways. That's when we had the deluge of gelatin research hitting the > board. > > So, from what I can see, yes, a few people were interested in the topic, > but not so many that it had to be the ongoing theme of the month. > > For Mandy to have reacted so violently to a simple suggestion of taking > the topic private, was just plain wrong. There is no way you can > convince me otherwise. This group was formed by Di and Sue as a > mechanism to help people who were new to the surgery, exploring their > options, and learning about the surgery, to have a place to go and ask > their questions and get help and support. People who stay post-op and > offer support are always welcome because their advice and information > from 'living it' are definitely invaluable. However, again, vicious and > malicious attacks, no matter how angry someone makes you, are not > acceptable, no matter who they come from. > > Sorry if you disagree. I liked Mandy too, but I would have banned her > also if I was in a moderator position on this group. I don't accept > unacceptable behavior from anyone. At times, like in any family, there > will be disagreements. If you disagree with someone, do you attack them > or do you just express your disagreement in a civilized manner? Think > about that before giving Lori any more of a hard time about this. It's > all about attitude and Mandy's, when someone disagreed with her, was not > acceptable. > > That's all I have to say on the subject. > > live each day like it's your last... love like you've never been hurt... > > Deb in Hazlet, NJ > " Debbie Dancer " > distal rny > September 3, 2002 > 386/212/165 > BMI 60/31/24 > -174 > -100 " > Angel to Bill, Debbie, Ilene, Roy, and Ro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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