Re: sensitive subject, very little CC, talking about intimacy

[Guest guest]

Hi Le and group,

I have been following this topic with much

interest.Between and his diabetes and I with

ACM/syrinx it is few and far between.

It has opened the door for a higher level of

relationship.We are closer than ever.It was more of an

issue for me at first.Me needing him to validate Love

in that fashion.

But today I know love is in every little thing he

does for me.He admitted that he is afraid of hurting

me.Couple this with a fear of impotency most people

would think our marriage is not a good one.

I have never been happier.I have the rest of my life

ahead of me.I will not let this ruin one minute of

time between us.He is my best friend,my soulmate.

Of course talking openly about it has been the key

to our success in this trying time.We will get thru

it.So will the rest of you if you talk.Don't try to

guess what is in your partners mind ask him or her.The

results are amazing.

Gentle hugs,

Lee

--- Le King wrote:

> I know that the S** word is a quazi-taboo topic on

> e-boards. But,

> nonetheless, here is my two cents.

>

> I think the best way to handle this topic is with

> honesty and totally

> open communication with your spouse.

>

> Probably one of the best ways my hubby and I have

> dealt with this is

> by making our times together as non-goal oriented.

> > We have been married almost 14 years now, and I

can

> say some of our

> most precious times together, did not end with a

> goal in mind.

>

> It is so rare nowadays to have total, one-on-one,

> no distraction

> time, and recognizing how precious time is, we have

> made a pact to

> have intimacy at times, without a goal.

>

> This kind of time together helped us get thru:

> three high risk

> pregnancies, a hysterectomy, several TMJ surgeries,

> and recovery from

> a hernia.

>

> By laying out the guidelines that there is no

> end-goal, it takes the

> pressure off either of us to " preform " and it is

> pure, glorious,

> intimacy in its greatest, purest form.

>

> We will also be planning our post decompression

> surgery time this way

> too, and I am looking forward to having great

> intimacy even with the

> " no-sex for six weeks " time period.

>

> For those whom have read this, if I have offended

> anyone, I

> appologize in advance.

>

> My thought about this type of topic, we are all in

> the same boat, and

> if one of us figures out a better way to row their

> oar, then it can

> only help those of use who can use the help.

> Le

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>