Fw: Daily Jokes-Plus for July 25, 2000

[Guest guest]

> ** PICK ON WOMEN DAY **

>

> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name

> was Always.

>

> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding

> ring, and suffering.

>

> The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, " What's on

> the TV? " I said, " Dust! "

>

> In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God

> created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since

> then, neither God nor man has rested.

>

> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

>

> What is the difference between a dog and a fox?

> About 5 drinks.

>

> Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

>

> Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of

> Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

> Dad: That happens in every country, son.

>

> A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: " Wife Wanted " .

> Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said

> the same thing: " You can have mine. "

>

> The most effective way to remember your wife's

> birthday is to forget it once.

>

> First guy (proudly): " My wife's an angel!

> Second guy: " You're lucky, mine's still alive. "

>

> How do most men define marriage?

> An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

>

> Then there was a man who said, " I never knew what

> real happiness was until I got married; and then it was

> too late. "

>

> A little boy asked his father, " Daddy, how much does it

> cost to get married? "

> The father replied, " I don't know son, I'm still paying! "

>

>

> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their

> fathers. The first boy says, " My Dad scribbles a few

> words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they

> give him $50. "

>

> The second boy says, " That's nothing. My Dad scribbles

> a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they

> give him $100. "

>

> The third boy says, " I got you both beat. My Dad

> scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls

> it a sermon... and it takes eight people to collect

> all the money! "

>

> " When I told my doctor that I couldn't afford an

> operation, he offered to touch up my X rays. "

>

>

>

>

>

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