Re: New memeber - Hi

[Guest guest]

hi sandra,i am new to the group too. today was my first day i didnt count calories or obsess about my food. i really felt empty not doing it, and it ws really hard because i am overweight. i find when i get stressed i want to obsess more about my weight.and my looks. i hope it gets easier. p.s. i am judy and i'm so glad i can connect with people like

myself. thank you, judyFrom:

Laker To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 1:13:00 AMSubject: New memeber - Hi

Hi Everyone, time for me to say hi to All and introduce myself. I have only recently discovered a wonderful non diet world. What an amazing relief to know that I am not alone in what seems to be a constant losing battle. I have been in diet world for about 8 years but have always been big-ish. I have lost weight, gained weight, lost it again and gained it again. My last attempt was the exercise and diet way. I sort of lost interest in the diet as I stopped losing weight(unless I cut out carbs completely) but the exercise has stuck.

I have started reading a few books and find that I am quite hard on myself when I do have a bad day (like yesterday). It is really not easy to break those "diet rules" that are engraved in our brains. Hopefully things get easier, and hopefully I am not the only one who has these bad days.

Hope you all have a lovely day.

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy and ,

I am pretty much new here also; maybe just a couple weeks? I lost track already, lol.

Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories; that's a tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and studying the Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating, etc. that it will help tremendously. And I think getting started on the Intuitive eating path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the empty feeling because you'd have a new course to follow.

I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so I'm not new to that, just new to this support group. I read OO about 20 times at least, lol! I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol. I admit a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie counting and weight obsession :.)

Good luck!

Laurie

Subject: Re: New memeber - Hi

hi sandra,i am new to the group too. today was my first day i didnt count calories or obsess about my food. i really felt empty not doing it, and it ws really hard because i am overweight. i find when i get stressed i want to obsess more about my weight.and my looks. i hope it gets easier.

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie: When I read your comments about replacing counting calories with

reading intuitive eating eating books, I realize I followed a similar path. I

own all of Geneen Roth's books, the books by Munter and Hirschmann (OO and

WWSHTB), and books by many other IE gurus. No single book transformed me into a

'normal' or intuitive eater. However, I gleaned bits of wisdom from each author

and maybe put it all together when I finally began to eat intuitively and easily

maintain a healthy weight.

Diet programs teach us that counting calories will make us lose weight or

maintain our weight loss. So we think we're accomplishing something by counting

calories. However IE teaches us to rely on our inner (hunger/fullness) signals,

rather than external measurements of success like calorie counts or numbers on a

scale. Like learning to trust our inner wisdom, IE teaches us to rely on our own

sensations and own intuition about food, eating and our bodies.

Nevertheless, becoming an intuitive eater may require that we replace habits of

relying on external judgments or measurements (like calories and body weight)

with habits of listening to our body sensations and own inner wisdom. Replacing

any habit takes time and conscious effort. If we practiced 'external

measurement' diet habits for many years, we need to consciously but patiently

work on replacing those habits with IE habits.

SUE

> Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories; that's a

tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and studying the

Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating, etc. that it

will help tremendously.  And I think getting started on the Intuitive eating

path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the empty feeling

because you'd have a new course to follow.

>  

> I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so I'm

not new to that, just new to this support group.  I read OO about 20 times at

least, lol!  I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol.  I admit

a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie counting

and weight obsession :.)

>  

> Good luck!

>  

> Laurie

[Guest guest]

Sue, I like what you said, " we need to consciously but patiently work on

replacing those habits with IE habits. "

Patience..........I think it means sort of accepting " what is " at this moment.

Which is hard to do. It feels like I'm not working toward something like

dieting seems to do. Which I guess creates that empty feeling Laurie was

talking about.

Deb

>

> > Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories; that's

a tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and studying the

Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating, etc. that it

will help tremendously.  And I think getting started on the Intuitive eating

path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the empty feeling

because you'd have a new course to follow.

> >  

> > I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so I'm

not new to that, just new to this support group.  I read OO about 20 times at

least, lol!  I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol.  I admit

a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie counting

and weight obsession :.)

> >  

> > Good luck!

> >  

> > Laurie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

The thing I think about, when I'm becoming impatient to do this more perfectly is, first of all I don't have to be perfect at it, and second of all, I had an eating disorder for 18 years before I began addressing it, and so it's no surprise that I didn't cure myself in a month or even a year or two. I've been at this for 15 years, and I've made wonderful progress and I've even had a very minor relapse, but that's no problem because I didn't have to start from scratch; I retained all I'd learned and am doing even better now.

So I guess patience and gentleness with ourselves count for a lot!

Laurie--- On Thu, 11/19/09, paquiller wrote

Sue, I like what you said, "we need to consciously but patiently work on replacing those habits with IE habits."Patience.... ......I think it means sort of accepting "what is" at this moment. Which is hard to do. It feels like I'm not working toward something like dieting seems to do. Which I guess creates that empty feeling Laurie was talking about.Deb>> Hi Laurie: When I read your comments about replacing counting calories with reading intuitive eating eating books, I realize I followed a similar path. I own all of Geneen Roth's books, the books by Munter and Hirschmann (OO and WWSHTB), and books by many other IE gurus. No single book

transformed me into a 'normal' or intuitive eater. However, I gleaned bits of wisdom from each author and maybe put it all together when I finally began to eat intuitively and easily maintain a healthy weight.>

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb:

I think we need to 'accept' in order to change what we dislike. I consider

'acceptance' a nonjudgmental acknowledgment of what is. For example, we may

dislike our weight, but we can still nonjudgmentally acknowledge that we have

excess weight which we want to lose. Removing the 'judgment' part eliminates

emotional pain and blame. We can just view the excess weight as a problem we

want to solve, rather than a fault or source of shame. Of course, HOW we solve

that problem depends on whether we want to rely on 'external' methods like

diets, calorie counting and daily weighing or internal (intuitive) methods like

committing to eat when hungry, foods that feel good in our bodies (not just

taste good) and stop when satisfied.

However, if we don't 'accept', we may not completely acknowledge what is. So we

may waste our energy denying what is and make no progress toward change.

Likewise we may criticise ourselves so much that we feel overwhelmed with

emotional pain and want to eat to cope with that emotional pain. Of course,

emotional eating perpetuates the original problem.

So NONJUDGMENTAL acceptance is a prerequisite for changing habits or anything

about ourselves.

SUE

> >

> > > Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories;

that's a tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and

studying the Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating,

etc. that it will help tremendously.  And I think getting started on the

Intuitive eating path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the

empty feeling because you'd have a new course to follow.

> > >  

> > > I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so

I'm not new to that, just new to this support group.  I read OO about 20 times

at least, lol!  I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol.  I

admit a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie

counting and weight obsession :.)

> > >  

> > > Good luck!

> > >  

> > > Laurie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Judy. I wanted to let you know that in time you will get to a point

where you can 'see' yourself as YOURself, and not as a 'should-be'. All change

is stressful for sure, but here you can relax and be gentle with yourself as you

go about IE. It won't take long for you to find its a most welcome change

BEST to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> hi sandra,i am new to the group too. today was my first day i didnt count

calories or obsess about my food. i really felt empty not doing it, and it ws

really hard because i am overweight. i find when i get stressed i want to obsess

more about my weight.and my looks. i hope it gets easier.

>

>

> p.s.

i am judy and i'm so glad i can connect with people like myself.

>

>

>

thank you, judy

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Wed, November 18, 2009 1:13:00 AM

> Subject: New memeber - Hi

>

>

> Hi Everyone, time for me to say hi to All and introduce myself. I have only

recently discovered a wonderful non diet world. What an amazing relief to know

that I am not alone in what seems to be a constant losing battle. I have been in

diet world for about 8 years but have always been big-ish. I have lost weight,

gained weight, lost it again and gained it again. My last attempt was the

exercise and diet way. I sort of lost interest in the diet as I stopped losing

weight(unless I cut out carbs completely) but the exercise has stuck.

> I have started reading a few books and find that I am quite hard on myself

when I do have a bad day (like yesterday). It is really not easy to break those

" diet rules " that are engraved in our brains.

>

> Hopefully things get easier, and hopefully I am not the only one who has these

bad days.

>

> Hope you all have a lovely day.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Excellent point Laurie - subbing one habit for another, and more positive one at

that. I love how this group never ceases to come up with GOOD points!!

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi Judy and ,

> I am pretty much new here also; maybe just a couple weeks?  I lost track

already, lol.

>  

> Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories; that's a

tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and studying the

Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating, etc. that it

will help tremendously.  And I think getting started on the Intuitive eating

path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the empty feeling

because you'd have a new course to follow.

>  

> I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so I'm

not new to that, just new to this support group.  I read OO about 20 times at

least, lol!  I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol.  I admit

a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie counting

and weight obsession :.)

>  

> Good luck!

>  

> Laurie

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?Thanks, JudyTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 1:14:56 PMSubject: Re: New memeber - Hi

Excellent point Laurie - subbing one habit for another, and more positive one at that. I love how this group never ceases to come up with GOOD points!!

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi Judy and ,

> I am pretty much new here also; maybe just a couple weeks? I lost track already, lol.

>

> Just want to say the empty feeling when no longer counting calories; that's a tough one but I think if you replace it with really reading and studying the Intuitive Eating book, plus other books like Overcoming Overeating, etc. that it will help tremendously. And I think getting started on the Intuitive eating path based on what the book says would help to alleviate the empty feeling because you'd have a new course to follow.

>

> I have done intuitive eating for 15 years with Overcoming Overeating, so I'm not new to that, just new to this support group. I read OO about 20 times at least, lol! I studied it, high lighted it, put notes in margins, lol. I admit a bit obsessive at first, but I needed something to replace the calorie counting and weight obsession :.)

>

> Good luck!

>

> Laurie

[Guest guest]

Judy, I really recommend that you print out the Book List and use it as a

'shopping guide'. Taking it to a library, and/or (used too!) book store will

give you a chance to thumb through different books to find which one connects

with you best. I found Overcoming Overeating to be a simpler version of

Intuitive Eating which most find to be more complete. But the basic ideas are

there in each. If you have any difficulty accessing the Book List here at the

site, do email me and I'll reply with an attached copy of the Book List file.

Its quite comprehensive so you have lots of choices.

You are just beginning so its not at all scary and overwhelming to think of ALL

the things in front of you. I think the best analogy I read about this is like

learning to drive a car. Initially there is so much to do - all at once too! But

in a rather short time you become very practiced and doing 'all' those things is

very natural feeling. One of the IE suggestions, which most of us do later too,

is body image. Hard as it is to believe now, you can work from and within the

body that you have right now. In fact, its amazing to find that all our bodies

deserve respect for all they do for us - now. And loving them - now - is

possible. In fact many find that once they work on this aspect of IE, the

adjustment of body weight begins to happen for itself :)

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I

looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on

another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I

wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have

always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small

muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?

>

>

> Thanks, Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Katcha,

Thanks for the compliment :.)

Just want also to mention that I'm feeling a lot of great support here. And one of the Intuitive Eating books arrived and I'm excited to start reading it!!

Thanks,

Laurie

Subject: Re: New memeber - Hi

Excellent point Laurie - subbing one habit for another, and more positive one at that. I love how this group never ceases to come up with GOOD points!!Katcha

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

Sounds like you made a fantastic start! I definitely understand feeling scared at the beginning; that is so normal and I'd be much more worried and surprised if you said you had no fears at all.

If it helps I think that dieting is what got you to your heaviest weight, and so then dieting could not be the solution.

I've let go of trying to "be" a certain weight of my choosing. I've done a lot of mirror work and body acceptance work, and basically am trusting and having faith that whatever I look like at my natural weight (and I'm not quite there yet but I'm already happy with my body most days) will be beautiful. I don't mean beautiful in a crazy society "model" glossed over photoshopped way!!! I mean beautiful the way Renoir or s painted beautiful women of all different sizes and he didn't make them perfect and blemishless. What more can we expect of ourselves? How could we punish our bodies for being as they are intended to be?

Here's a fascinating exercise from the book "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies".

Pretend there's a gas let into the atmosphere and it has the effect that you will never, ever again gain or lose any weight. The question is, how then, for the rest of your life, will you treat yourself? Will you hate your body for the rest of your life and treat yourself like cr*p? Or will you learn to love your body since it can't change, and will you come to treat yourself in a self-nurturing way and self-accepting way when you talk to yourself about your body?

See they don't say your natural weight won't be smaller, but they do say part of ending compulsive overeating has to do with acceptance of yourself right now as you are; any weight loss won't be purposely aimed for, but rather a side effect of your new-found healthy relationship with food.

I recommend the book I mentioned :.) I know this board uses "Intuitive Eating"; there are two IE books ( Tribole, and Elyse Resch). I love Overcoming Overeating (Hirshman and Munter).

Well sometimes I can go on and on; sorry about that!

But good luck and it sounds like you've made a great start already!

Laurie

Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?Thanks, Judy

[Guest guest]

hi lori,thanks for the encouraging words. i really needed them i bought the book today when women stop hating their bodies. i want to be more positive but i had a really bad day today. i just wanted to stay in bed. i know from this group i will get better i just need time. i have a very supportive husband and that helps alot.thanks again and god bless you and everyone else. judyFrom: lori

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 19, 2009 10:13:19 PMSubject: Re: Re: New memeber - Hi

Hi Judy,

Sounds like you made a fantastic start! I definitely understand feeling scared at the beginning; that is so normal and I'd be much more worried and surprised if you said you had no fears at all.

If it helps I think that dieting is what got you to your heaviest weight, and so then dieting could not be the solution.

I've let go of trying to "be" a certain weight of my choosing. I've done a lot of mirror work and body acceptance work, and basically am trusting and having faith that whatever I look like at my natural weight (and I'm not quite there yet but I'm already happy with my body most days) will be beautiful. I don't mean beautiful in a crazy society "model" glossed over photoshopped way!!! I mean beautiful the way Renoir or s painted beautiful women of all different sizes and he didn't make them perfect and blemishless. What more can we expect of ourselves? How could we punish our bodies for being as they are intended to be?

Here's a fascinating exercise from the book "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies".

Pretend there's a gas let into the atmosphere and it has the effect that you will never, ever again gain or lose any weight. The question is, how then, for the rest of your life, will you treat yourself? Will you hate your body for the rest of your life and treat yourself like cr*p? Or will you learn to love your body since it can't change, and will you come to treat yourself in a self-nurturing way and self-accepting way when you talk to yourself about your body?

See they don't say your natural weight won't be smaller, but they do say part of ending compulsive overeating has to do with acceptance of yourself right now as you are; any weight loss won't be purposely aimed for, but rather a side effect of your new-found healthy relationship with food.

I recommend the book I mentioned :.) I know this board uses "Intuitive Eating"; there are two IE books ( Tribole, and Elyse Resch). I love Overcoming Overeating (Hirshman and Munter).

Well sometimes I can go on and on; sorry about that!

But good luck and it sounds like you've made a great start already!

Laurie

From: Judy Brown <judyhill1958@ yahoo.com>

Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?Thanks, Judy

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

I'm glad you picked up that book; I really love it. I'm reading Intuitive Eating now, and I think it goes great with Overcoming Overeating.

I just want to say hang in there because it takes a little bit of time to get the feel of how to start intuitive eating, but you'll get it and there's lots of support here!

I've had days when I wanted to stay in bed and I did and didnt let it bother me. But it sounds like your husband is very good support, and that will help a lot!

take care,

Laurie

From: Judy Brown <judyhill1958@ yahoo.com>

Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?Thanks, Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy I was at the same place where I just wore sweats because I was at my

heaviest. It wasn't until I accepted myself, bought myself clothes that look

good that my body started to get smaller. This is not a quick fix but worth it

if you can hang in there. My clothes are now big on me. It took 2 years to get

my mind straight. Do not give up and stop beating yourself up. If you stick

with this your mind will be at peace and your body will be at the place it

should be. I do not weight myself I can't do that to myself anymore.

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

> Thanks for the feedback. I'm really scared now because I am at my heaviest I

looked at myself in the mirror this morning and saw fat. But i know going on

another diet will only make it worse. I can't fit in clothes that look nice so I

wear sweats all the time. I don't know what my natural weight is because I have

always been on a diet. I still havent counted calories and I ate two small

muffins for lunch. I'm going to buy some of the books which one is most helpful?

>

>

> Thanks, Judy

>