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Re: My 18-year-old cousin

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Sara,What you said about being nostalgic about the times we were thin, and how we forget about the bad feelings we had back then... really resonated with me. I am definitely nostalgic about my thinnest weight... when I was so anxious that i was nauseated and could barely eat. My dad had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and I had an abusive boss. I never forget that it was bad things that made me get so thin... but I still wish I looked like that! 

Thank you for sharing that.Abby 

 

She and her aunt are staying with me right now, becuase my uncle is in a nearby hospital with pretty bad burns. The circumstance has been bad, but it's been nice to see them, and he's doing better now.

My cousin dieted a few years ago and lost like 50 pounds. She gained back all the weight within the last 2 years, and is holding steady now. She makes comments about how she felt so much better about herself when she was thin. I explored that with her, and she realized, that even when she was very thin, she still felt fat. We talked about how I had these same issues, and that self-esteen isn't about weight, etc. It strikes me how nostalgicly we all look back on our thin times. We remember the good feelings, but never the bad, even when the bad thoughts outnumbered the good.

My heart goes out to her. It's so hard to be a teen dealing with self-esteem issues. She thankfully has a boyfriend who likes her better at this size, than at her thinnest---God bless his soul. He says he wants more to grab onto. She talks about seeing on television and in magazines these super thin models and feeling jealous. It's such the story of becoming a woman (or man) in this era. It's so tragic. Can you imagine a magazine filled with people of all different shapes and sizes, each one being celebrated as unique and beautiful?

Sara

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I used to feel nostalgic about my thinner years... until I really reviewed my

feelings from back then (I am a very dedicated journal keeper so there can't be

any illusions!!!) by rereading journals... and I realized that now, at about 120

lbs more (due to three pregnancies and illness, mind you), I feel essentially

the same or even better about myself as a whole!!! I was more anxious, thought

and battered myself about my body way more, loved my body way less and didn't

enjoy my body half as much as I do now. It's almost as though I needed to grow

up, even if it included weight gain, before I could really appreciate my body,

at whatever size.

Nishy

>

> >

> >

> > She and her aunt are staying with me right now, becuase my uncle is in a

> > nearby hospital with pretty bad burns. The circumstance has been bad, but

> > it's been nice to see them, and he's doing better now.

> >

> > My cousin dieted a few years ago and lost like 50 pounds. She gained back

> > all the weight within the last 2 years, and is holding steady now. She makes

> > comments about how she felt so much better about herself when she was thin.

> > I explored that with her, and she realized, that even when she was very

> > thin, she still felt fat. We talked about how I had these same issues, and

> > that self-esteen isn't about weight, etc. It strikes me how nostalgicly we

> > all look back on our thin times. We remember the good feelings, but never

> > the bad, even when the bad thoughts outnumbered the good.

> >

> > My heart goes out to her. It's so hard to be a teen dealing with

> > self-esteem issues. She thankfully has a boyfriend who likes her better at

> > this size, than at her thinnest---God bless his soul. He says he wants more

> > to grab onto. She talks about seeing on television and in magazines these

> > super thin models and feeling jealous. It's such the story of becoming a

> > woman (or man) in this era. It's so tragic. Can you imagine a magazine

> > filled with people of all different shapes and sizes, each one being

> > celebrated as unique and beautiful?

> >

> > Sara

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> -

>

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Wow..I just realized that I am not nostalgic about when I was thinner. The thinnest time in my life was also the unhappiest time in my life. And looking back at pictures I looked sickly. I was starving myself and felt sick and dizzy all the time. I was cranky, hateful and mad at the whole world and I don't want to go back to that unhappy place. I had lost all this weight and supposedly looked good but I couldn't enjoy it because it was a constant struggle to keep the weight off. I wasn't thin by weight standards (5'6", 190 lbs) but it was too thin for me. I didn't feel good about myself...I was obsessed about getting thinner and thinner.

I've been happier these last few months than I have ever been in my life! I don't even want to be thin anymore...I want to be fit and healthy. I think I look pretty good...and nothing makes a person look better than being happy...no matter what their weight is. :)

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thu, November 5, 2009 5:47:38 PMSubject: My 18-year-old cousin

She and her aunt are staying with me right now, becuase my uncle is in a nearby hospital with pretty bad burns. The circumstance has been bad, but it's been nice to see them, and he's doing better now. My cousin dieted a few years ago and lost like 50 pounds. She gained back all the weight within the last 2 years, and is holding steady now. She makes comments about how she felt so much better about herself when she was thin. I explored that with her, and she realized, that even when she was very thin, she still felt fat. We talked about how I had these same issues, and that self-esteen isn't about weight, etc. It strikes me how nostalgicly we all look back on our thin times. We remember the good feelings, but never the bad, even when the bad thoughts outnumbered the good. My heart goes out to her. It's so hard to be a teen dealing with self-esteem issues. She thankfully has a boyfriend who likes her better at this size, than at her

thinnest---God bless his soul. He says he wants more to grab onto. She talks about seeing on television and in magazines these super thin models and feeling jealous. It's such the story of becoming a woman (or man) in this era. It's so tragic. Can you imagine a magazine filled with people of all different shapes and sizes, each one being celebrated as unique and beautiful? Sara

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Hi Sara:

Your post reminded me of the new DOVE commercials. Has anyone seen them? I

realize they are still a beauty products company but at least they are focusing

on REAL beauty and helping young girls develop self esteem and avoid what your

cousin and all of us are going through. At the very least, the issue is being

put " out there. "

http://www.dove.us/#/makeadifference/report.aspx/

Love dEb

>

> She and her aunt are staying with me right now, becuase my uncle is in a

nearby hospital with pretty bad burns. The circumstance has been bad, but it's

been nice to see them, and he's doing better now.

>

> My cousin dieted a few years ago and lost like 50 pounds. She gained back all

the weight within the last 2 years, and is holding steady now. She makes

comments about how she felt so much better about herself when she was thin. I

explored that with her, and she realized, that even when she was very thin, she

still felt fat. We talked about how I had these same issues, and that

self-esteen isn't about weight, etc. It strikes me how nostalgicly we all look

back on our thin times. We remember the good feelings, but never the bad, even

when the bad thoughts outnumbered the good.

>

> My heart goes out to her. It's so hard to be a teen dealing with self-esteem

issues. She thankfully has a boyfriend who likes her better at this size, than

at her thinnest---God bless his soul. He says he wants more to grab onto. She

talks about seeing on television and in magazines these super thin models and

feeling jealous. It's such the story of becoming a woman (or man) in this era.

It's so tragic. Can you imagine a magazine filled with people of all different

shapes and sizes, each one being celebrated as unique and beautiful?

>

> Sara

>

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Sara you are so wonderful to talk with her so openly and well too. I am sure

that it will comfort and stay with her in a very positive way plus it has to be

good for you too :)

Bravo and happy happy happy for you both -

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> She and her aunt are staying with me right now, becuase my uncle is in a

nearby hospital with pretty bad burns. The circumstance has been bad, but it's

been nice to see them, and he's doing better now.

>

> My cousin dieted a few years ago and lost like 50 pounds. She gained back all

the weight within the last 2 years, and is holding steady now. She makes

comments about how she felt so much better about herself when she was thin. I

explored that with her, and she realized, that even when she was very thin, she

still felt fat. We talked about how I had these same issues, and that

self-esteen isn't about weight, etc. It strikes me how nostalgicly we all look

back on our thin times. We remember the good feelings, but never the bad, even

when the bad thoughts outnumbered the good.

>

> My heart goes out to her. It's so hard to be a teen dealing with self-esteem

issues. She thankfully has a boyfriend who likes her better at this size, than

at her thinnest---God bless his soul. He says he wants more to grab onto. She

talks about seeing on television and in magazines these super thin models and

feeling jealous. It's such the story of becoming a woman (or man) in this era.

It's so tragic. Can you imagine a magazine filled with people of all different

shapes and sizes, each one being celebrated as unique and beautiful?

>

> Sara

>

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You GOT IT Kip! :) :) This is an amazing topic and a fabulous reminder of

'selective' memory too ;-) Another thing that your post brought up for me was

how discovering that being 'thin' is NOT what you really really want and how

that deep inner desire plays into how one's weight does stay at higher levels

than what we think it 'should' be. Yay for INNER wisdom :) :)

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Wow..I just realized that I am not nostalgic about when I was thinner.  The

thinnest time in my life was also the unhappiest time in my life.  And

looking back at pictures I looked sickly.  I was starving myself and felt sick

and dizzy all the time.  I was cranky, hateful and mad at the whole world and

I don't want to go back to that unhappy place.  I had lost all this weight and

supposedly looked good but I couldn't enjoy it because it was a constant

struggle to keep the weight off.  I wasn't thin by weight standards (5'6 " , 190

lbs) but it was too thin for me.  I didn't feel good about myself...I was

obsessed about getting thinner and thinner.

>

> I've been happier these last few months than I have ever been in my life!  I

don't even want to be thin anymore...I want to be fit and healthy.  I think I

look pretty good...and nothing makes a person look better than being happy...no

matter what their weight is.  :)

>  

>

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The Dove commercial are a favorite of Gillian's too :) Thanks for the link dEb

:)

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi Sara:

>

> Your post reminded me of the new DOVE commercials. Has anyone seen them? I

realize they are still a beauty products company but at least they are focusing

on REAL beauty and helping young girls develop self esteem and avoid what your

cousin and all of us are going through. At the very least, the issue is being

put " out there. "

>

> http://www.dove.us/#/makeadifference/report.aspx/

>

>

> Love dEb

>

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