Re:D-M..RELATIONSHIPS & THESE DDS

[Guest guest]

DONI-MARIE... YOU AND THOSE 'DRAGONS' BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES, HON !!

THANK YOU, SWEETIE !! 8^)

MIKE (AND EVERYONE),

I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE YOU GUYS OUT. ITS THE SAME FOR YOU WITH WIVES AS IT

IS FOR US WITH HUSBANDS. THERE IS THE SAME FRUSTRATION AT OUR LIMITATIONS,

WHETHER IT'S SPOUSES, PARTNERS, OR BOY/GIRL FRIENDS -- AND ALSO FRIENDS AND

FAMILY.

THESE DDS ARE A STRAIN ON RELATIONSHIPS, ALL DISEASES ARE, BUT SOME DISEASES

ARE 'ACCAPTABLE' BY SOCIETY, LIKE CANCER, BECAUSE THEY GO AWAY, YOU DIE, OR

THEY HAVE OUTWARDS SIGNS OF DIABILITY, LIKE A SEEING-EYE-DOG OR A

WHEELCHAIR. DISEASES THAT DON'T GO AWAY, AREN'T CONSIDERED LETHAL, AND DON'T

HAVE OUTWARD SIGNS OF DISABLILTIY AREN'T ACCEPTABLE, BECAUSE OF SOCIETY'S

'IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT IT'S NOT THERE' AND 'JUST TAKE A PILL AND GET BACK TO

WORK' ATTITUDES.

I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, I HAVE THE SAME ILLNESS AND THE SAME PAIN BEFORE

AND AFTER GETTING A CANE -- BUT DARNED IF MY DISABILITIES DIDN'T BECOME MORE

ACCEPTABLE TO PEOPLE BECAUSE OF IT. BEFORE THE CANE, I EVEN HAD PEOPLE CALL

ME A DRUNK BECAUSE OF MY DIFFICULTY WALKING AND THE DIZZINESS MAKING ME FALL

ALL THE TIME. IT REALLY SHOWED ME HOW NARROW SOCIETY' PERCEPTIONS OF ILLNESS

ARE.

SO I DO KNOW HOW IT IS FOR YOU GUYS (YOUR JOB IS MORE A PART OF YOUR

IDENTITY THAN IT IS FOR US WOMEN -- SO YOU HAVE THAT LOSS TO DEAL WITH AS

WELL) -- I EVEN KNOW FROM THE SPOUSE'S VIEW, BECAUSE MY HUBBY HAS A BRAIN

INJURY AND EPILEPSY. I KNEW THAT WHEN I MARRIED HIM, BUT I STILL FOUND

MYSELF GETTING FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY AT HIS DRAWBACKS -- SO WHEN HE DOES NOW

ABOUT MY DRAWBACKS, I KNOW HOW TO RELATE TO HIM ABOUT IT.

BUT LOVE STANDS FIRM IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, AND YOU GET TO KNOW EACH

OTHER A WHOLE LOT BETTER. ILLNESS WEEEDS OUT THOSE IN OUR LIVES WHO DON'T

REALLY CARE, AND BRINGS OTHER'S INTO OUR LIVES WHOSE HEARTS ARE STRONGER AND

BETTER. AT LEAST IT HAS FOR ME.

SO NO MATTER WHO HAS THE ILLNESS -- MAN, WOMAN OR CHILD -- THE EMOTIONAL

UPHEAVALS ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME. THERE IS A LOT OF FEAR AND FRUSTRATION,

THAT TRANSLATES INTO ANGER, BLAME, GUILT, SUSPICION, DISBELIEF, ETC.

THE WAY TO ALEVIATE FEAR IS THROUGH EDUCATION (THE SITES MARCY SENT ARE A

GOOD START). THE WAY TO HAVE VICTORY OVER FRUSTRATION IS TO BATTLE IT

EVERYDAY WITH DETERMINATION. AND THIS IS ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HEROICALLY

DO THAT EVERYDAY, AND I AM HONORED TO KNOW AND LOVE YOU ALL.

SO MIKE, IF YOU THINK THESE ILLNESSES STOP YOU FROM BEING YOUR WIFE'S KNIGHT

IN SHINING ARMOR, YOU'RE WRONG. I AM SURE SHE SEES STRENGTH IN YOU HEALTHY

WIVES DON'T GET TO SEE IN THEIR HUBBIES. YOU ARE 'TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS'

DOING ALL YOU DO WITH PAIN THAT WOULD STOP HEALTHY PEOPLE IN THEIR TRACKS. I

KNOW BECAUSE I SEE MY HUBBY AS MY HERO, AND HIS ARMOR STILL SHINES BRIGHT

FOR ME -- THE MORESO BECAUSE HE BATTLES DRAGONS IN HIS BODY AS WELL AS IN

THE WORLD. SO TO YOU GUYS IN OUR GROUP -- I AM SURE YOUR WIVES LOOK AT YOU

THE SAME WAY, FRUSTRATION NOT-WITHSTANDING. KEEP TILTING AT THOSE DRAGONS.

;-)

{{{GENTLE HUGS}}}

DONI-MARIE

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