thank you for the kind welcome

[Guest guest]

Dear Group,

I wrote back privately to the people who had responded to me yesterday. The ideas and kindness helped.

I have 2 questions.

I am in a lot of emotional pain still. The feeling of rejection by my family members, and abandonment by my online community. I have grieving to do.

I turned very strongly to food, on the first night. I was very conscious, that that is what I was doing. I went over and over, in my head, if there were anybody else who I could turn to for support, and if there were anything more I could do to help myself. I felt I had completely exhausted my current internal and external capacities, for self-care, and food was the only thing left. And it saved me from even greater self-destructive behavior. So it is a level of self-care, even if a primitive one.

It's hard, once I've binged that badly, to nurse and coach my body back to health, as it deals with the overload. I'm wondering how other people approach this part of the work.

And it's especially hard, for me, right now, to hold this emotional pain. I feel a sense of disillusionment and deep loss. I'm wondering how other people approach self-care, with this work, when it comes to times of particular emotional distress.

I am fairly limited, with my MCS. Mostly housebound, and unable to see other people. (Though I occasionally see my best friend and have to detox my apt. after she goes. But we talk frequently on the phone. But she, too, is unavailable right now, running for union office.) I see a Jungian analyst once per week, as I have for years.

Whenever I do my body scan meditation, or my eating meditation, (guided meditations), or my 5-10 minute meditations that I do after each meal, and sometimes before -- or just listening to Geneen or Pema -- they bring my presence back to myself, so that I can really be with myself, and my pain. That is always a relief. But it takes effort for me, I can't sustain it throughout the day. It is moments of reprieve.

Any suggestions for self-care when navigating one's way through these sorts of pains would be appreciated. Others' insights and perspectives help a lot.

Warm greetings,

Sue