Re: Hi! I'm new here!

[Guest guest]

Welcome Chrystin What I felt after reading your intro post was wondering if

you have ever given thought to WHY you are not feeling great about yourself -

before or now too. Its easy and handy to blame the 'fat', but is it the FAT or

how you perceive yourself based upon that 'judgment'? Body 'size' is a poor, or

even invalid measurement, for yourSELF. How you feel IN your body (ease of

movement, internal comfort level) is what we too often overlook or even know for

ourselves. There's a suggested exercise in one of the books I've read that asks

you to discover for yourself what your 'thin fantasy' is. You may want to give

that a go and see what it brings up for you.

Meanwhile practicing which ever of the IE suggested ideas (mindful eating,

legalizing etc.) can help you get a good start on your IE journey too.

Best to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> (Sigh) Where do I start? I recently read " Intuitive Eating " and before

> that " Fed Up " and I know that this is what I need to do. I've been

> dieting, like all of you, for years (hard to say exactly, but somewhere

> between 5 and 10 years) with, frankly, a lot of success. The past year

> orso, however, I have been perplexed about my " lack of willpower " . I am

> (grind my teeth because I'm not feeling it right now) very fit. I love

> to train/bodybuild. But what used to be a " cheat meal " after a week or

> two of " eating clean " has recently turned into days of compulsive eating

> followed by meticulous calorie and nutrient

> counting/figuring/calculating. Despite that, I manage to keep my weight

> down (except for immediately following a binge). Emotionally I am left

> in tatters. There is no balance in this lifestyle and I know it must

> change. So, I've embarked on this journey to relearn about hunger and

> satiety and " food is not good or bad " . The only problem is, since I

> started, I've gained weight. I've removed all measuring devices from my

> house (2 pairs of fat calipers, tape measure, calorie and weight

> tracking software, scale) but I can tell that I've put fat on. I don't

> care for the way that feels (or looks, to be honest) and yet at the same

> time I'm trying to find pace with the way I look. Honestly , i felt not

> 100% great about myself before and now I'm struggling with putting on

> this weight. I know I will probably lose this once I have relearned my

> hunger cues and I really only want one cookie. But I'm having a hard

> time feeling and seeing the hip fat I've gained. I've caught myself

> thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your reply! Well, I don't feel great about myself for a host

of reasons. But part of the problem is, i physically feel so much

better when I'm leaner. I feel like Ihave a lot of flesh in my way now

and that's uncomfortable for me. I'm worried that my " natural healthy

weight " will be fleshier than what has become comfy for me... Anywho,

what book is this " thin fantasy " in so I can check it out? Thanks!

> >

> > (Sigh) Where do I start? I recently read " Intuitive Eating " and

before

> > that " Fed Up " and I know that this is what I need to do. I've been

> > dieting, like all of you, for years (hard to say exactly, but

somewhere

> > between 5 and 10 years) with, frankly, a lot of success. The past

year

> > orso, however, I have been perplexed about my " lack of willpower " . I

am

> > (grind my teeth because I'm not feeling it right now) very fit. I

love

> > to train/bodybuild. But what used to be a " cheat meal " after a week

or

> > two of " eating clean " has recently turned into days of compulsive

eating

> > followed by meticulous calorie and nutrient

> > counting/figuring/calculating. Despite that, I manage to keep my

weight

> > down (except for immediately following a binge). Emotionally I am

left

> > in tatters. There is no balance in this lifestyle and I know it must

> > change. So, I've embarked on this journey to relearn about hunger

and

> > satiety and " food is not good or bad " . The only problem is, since I

> > started, I've gained weight. I've removed all measuring devices from

my

> > house (2 pairs of fat calipers, tape measure, calorie and weight

> > tracking software, scale) but I can tell that I've put fat on. I

don't

> > care for the way that feels (or looks, to be honest) and yet at the

same

> > time I'm trying to find pace with the way I look. Honestly , i felt

not

> > 100% great about myself before and now I'm struggling with putting

on

> > this weight. I know I will probably lose this once I have relearned

my

> > hunger cues and I really only want one cookie. But I'm having a hard

> > time feeling and seeing the hip fat I've gained. I've caught myself

> > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thin Fantasy, I love that. I know mine instantly. I'm effortlessly thin. People

comment about my thinness, and how jealous they are of my thinness all the time.

I feel beautiful all the time. I have not just a thin body, but a perfect body.

I move effortlessly and strong through the world. I have that sensation of

taking up very little space, like in my chair and in my clothes. I have a

hearty appetite, and eat whatever I want without fear.

I'm working toward effortlessly weighing whatever my body feels it needs to

weigh. I so need to get off my addiction to getting approval from other people.

I can feel beautiful all the time at any weight, I just have to choose it. I do

feel restricted somewhat in my movement now, but I also feel more supported in

my posture now, too. I think that's why I have so much less back and neck pain

now. I'm stronger now than I've ever been in my life. Why would I want to not

feel like I take up much space in the world? I want to feel substantial. I

have a hearty appetite now, and I eat whatever I want--I'm working on the fear

part.

That was fun!

Sara

> >

> > (Sigh) Where do I start? I recently read " Intuitive Eating " and before

> > that " Fed Up " and I know that this is what I need to do. I've been

> > dieting, like all of you, for years (hard to say exactly, but somewhere

> > between 5 and 10 years) with, frankly, a lot of success. The past year

> > orso, however, I have been perplexed about my " lack of willpower " . I am

> > (grind my teeth because I'm not feeling it right now) very fit. I love

> > to train/bodybuild. But what used to be a " cheat meal " after a week or

> > two of " eating clean " has recently turned into days of compulsive eating

> > followed by meticulous calorie and nutrient

> > counting/figuring/calculating. Despite that, I manage to keep my weight

> > down (except for immediately following a binge). Emotionally I am left

> > in tatters. There is no balance in this lifestyle and I know it must

> > change. So, I've embarked on this journey to relearn about hunger and

> > satiety and " food is not good or bad " . The only problem is, since I

> > started, I've gained weight. I've removed all measuring devices from my

> > house (2 pairs of fat calipers, tape measure, calorie and weight

> > tracking software, scale) but I can tell that I've put fat on. I don't

> > care for the way that feels (or looks, to be honest) and yet at the same

> > time I'm trying to find pace with the way I look. Honestly , i felt not

> > 100% great about myself before and now I'm struggling with putting on

> > this weight. I know I will probably lose this once I have relearned my

> > hunger cues and I really only want one cookie. But I'm having a hard

> > time feeling and seeing the hip fat I've gained. I've caught myself

> > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Chrystin and welcome.

I so feel what you're going through and I am right there with ya. It is

downright frightening to let go of old behaviors. I wish I had a majic answer

to your question.

To allow myself to freely eat without guilt was like learning a new language.

But I HAD to change - I had no choice. I was on my way to an early death.

I WILL take time. But you are worth it! Be gentle with yourself. Start paying

attention to what your body is telling you and not your head. Be still and know

that your body has so much more intelligence and if you pay close attention, it

will steer you in the right direction.

Let your vacation next week be a symbol of your new beginning.....use that time

to relax and pay attention. REALLY enjoy your food and eventually you will find

that smaller amounts will satisfy you.

Deb

>

I've caught myself

> thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Deb! You are right-I need to listen to my body and not my head.

Sometimes, like last night, I don't know what to do. I bought cookies at the

store the other day-really good ones (big leap of faith there) and I've been

telling myself that I can have them whenever I want. WEll last night I had a

bunch. Whatever. But when I was eating them I still felt COMPELLED to have more

until they were gone (there were three left) just because they were there. It

was a very intense feeling this time I think because I was really paying

attention to it. Scary. I was eating them just because they were there and I

couldn't help myself. I'm getting good with paying attention at meals and

stopping when I'm full but when it comes to what I in the past have referred to

as " cheat foods " , I am still out of control. And this AM I feel AWFUL,

absolutely awful which surprised me. I thought I was past that and now its all

I can think about. I feel like I took a big giant step back. I know that this

is a PROCESS, but now I'm not sure how to break myself out of this guilty place

I'm in.

> >

> I've caught myself

> > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The Thin Fantasy exercise is in the books Overcoming Overeating and When Women

Stop Hating Their Bodies by Jane Hirschmann & Carol Munter. Its more than a

sentence or two which I would copy over here, but I think you would benefit more

if you got a copy (library?) and follow it thru for your self. What it does is

to help you understand what is triggering you to eat more as well as finding out

what your real needs for being what you consider 'thin' to be. Many people

discover that its more about what they want in life than how they 'appear'

(to/for others).

When you say " I have a lot of flesh in my way " do you mean that it impedes your

ability to move (walk, bend etc.) or is this a judgment based upon your ideas

(head/mind) about what is 'acceptable'? I am overweight according to medical

charts, but my body does not restrict me when I want to do anything physically.

I have gotten to the point of where I couldn't bend over as well, due to excess

in abdomen area, and that I didn't like either.

Just some thoughts - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Thanks for your reply! Well, I don't feel great about myself for a host

> of reasons. But part of the problem is, i physically feel so much

> better when I'm leaner. I feel like Ihave a lot of flesh in my way now

> and that's uncomfortable for me. I'm worried that my " natural healthy

> weight " will be fleshier than what has become comfy for me... Anywho,

> what book is this " thin fantasy " in so I can check it out? Thanks!

> --- In IntuitiveEating_Support , " jain_daugh "

[Guest guest]

Wow Sara, you really got into that. Fabulous!! I soooo connected with your

fantasy -

" I'm effortlessly thin. People comment about my thinness, and how jealous they

are of my thinness all the time. I feel beautiful all the time. I have not

just a thin body, but a perfect body. I move effortlessly and strong through

the world. "

I bet there isn't a member here that wouldn't agree with that :)

And when you made the connection -

" Why would I want to not feel like I take up much space in the world? I want to

feel substantial. "

Double WOW!! I know that I felt like DUH!?! when I read that being 'heavier' is

often a reflection of needing to be more 'visible' or 'powerful' too. Its our

body complying with our deep inner needs. No wonder it 'rebels' (for us?) when

we try to whip it into the 'shape' we think we OUGHT to be instead of simply

being what we truly need/want to 'be' ourselves. " HEAVY " thoughts (lol).

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Thin Fantasy, I love that. I know mine instantly. I'm effortlessly thin.

People comment about my thinness, and how jealous they are of my thinness all

the time. I feel beautiful all the time. I have not just a thin body, but a

perfect body. I move effortlessly and strong through the world. I have that

sensation of taking up very little space, like in my chair and in my clothes. I

have a hearty appetite, and eat whatever I want without fear.

>

> I'm working toward effortlessly weighing whatever my body feels it needs to

weigh. I so need to get off my addiction to getting approval from other people.

I can feel beautiful all the time at any weight, I just have to choose it. I do

feel restricted somewhat in my movement now, but I also feel more supported in

my posture now, too. I think that's why I have so much less back and neck pain

now. I'm stronger now than I've ever been in my life. Why would I want to not

feel like I take up much space in the world? I want to feel substantial. I

have a hearty appetite now, and I eat whatever I want--I'm working on the fear

part.

>

>

> That was fun!

> Sara

>

[Guest guest]

Sara,I love what you wrote! Especially what you said about people comment about your thinness, and are jealous of it. I totally relate to that!I wonder what it is that makes us want that particular sort of attention. 

I know for me that as a child I was quite petite (very small and also thin but generally proportional, not excessively skinny) and so I was used to getting that sort of attention. But I bet it's just as appealing to people who have struggled with their size for their whole life! (interestingly, when i was a child, i never thought about the attention i got... only its absence, as i got older.) 

thanks for sharing your fantasy! it's very cool to see it written out. abby

 

Wow Sara, you really got into that. Fabulous!! I soooo connected with your fantasy -

" I'm effortlessly thin. People comment about my thinness, and how jealous they are of my thinness all the time. I feel beautiful all the time. I have not just a thin body, but a perfect body. I move effortlessly and strong through the world. "

I bet there isn't a member here that wouldn't agree with that :)

And when you made the connection -

" Why would I want to not feel like I take up much space in the world? I want to feel substantial. "

Double WOW!! I know that I felt like DUH!?! when I read that being 'heavier' is often a reflection of needing to be more 'visible' or 'powerful' too. Its our body complying with our deep inner needs. No wonder it 'rebels' (for us?) when we try to whip it into the 'shape' we think we OUGHT to be instead of simply being what we truly need/want to 'be' ourselves. " HEAVY " thoughts (lol).

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Thin Fantasy, I love that. I know mine instantly. I'm effortlessly thin. People comment about my thinness, and how jealous they are of my thinness all the time. I feel beautiful all the time. I have not just a thin body, but a perfect body. I move effortlessly and strong through the world. I have that sensation of taking up very little space, like in my chair and in my clothes. I have a hearty appetite, and eat whatever I want without fear.

>

> I'm working toward effortlessly weighing whatever my body feels it needs to weigh. I so need to get off my addiction to getting approval from other people. I can feel beautiful all the time at any weight, I just have to choose it. I do feel restricted somewhat in my movement now, but I also feel more supported in my posture now, too. I think that's why I have so much less back and neck pain now. I'm stronger now than I've ever been in my life. Why would I want to not feel like I take up much space in the world? I want to feel substantial. I have a hearty appetite now, and I eat whatever I want--I'm working on the fear part.

>

>

> That was fun!

> Sara

>

--

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean with the desire to finish eating what's there. I've

discovered that when I'm doing this, I'm focused on the part of the food that's

in the bowl/plate, and not what's in my mouth. I'm focused on the future

(what's left to eat) not the now (what's in my mouth). After I switch my

complete focus to enjoying what's in my mouth, I find it near effortless to stop

when satisfied.

Not sure that will work for everyone, but just in case, here ya go.

Sara

> > >

> > I've caught myself

> > > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Sara. I liked this. I will try it.

KT

> > > >

> > > I've caught myself

> > > > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > > > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sara,That is completely brilliant! I LOVE it! totally goes along with the sort of zen philosophy that i strive for! thank you! abby

 

Thanks, Sara. I liked this. I will try it.

KT

> > > >

> > > I've caught myself

> > > > thinking about " just cutting calories one last time " before I go on

> > > > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

--

[Guest guest]

Sara this is wonderful. thank you.

liz

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: saralouwho@...Date: Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:43:01 +0000Subject: Re: Hi! I'm new here!

I know what you mean with the desire to finish eating what's there. I've discovered that when I'm doing this, I'm focused on the part of the food that's in the bowl/plate, and not what's in my mouth. I'm focused on the future (what's left to eat) not the now (what's in my mouth). After I switch my complete focus to enjoying what's in my mouth, I find it near effortless to stop when satisfied.Not sure that will work for everyone, but just in case, here ya go.Sara> > >> > I've caught myself> > > thinking about "just cutting calories one last time" before I go on> > > vacation next week. How do I handle this??????> > >> >>

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