Re: I'm uncomfortable when I'm not eating...

[Guest guest]

I completely understand! Whenever I have some time to myself (ESPECIALLY if I'm

home alone), I tend to want to eat. I think it's a combination of boredom, my

inability to do " nothing " , and feeling like since I'm alone no one can judge me

by what I eat. I live with my boyfriend (of almost 5 years) and his cousin and

neither of them has ever commented on what I eat. I just worry about what they

think sometimes when I eat unhealthy foods (I used to be very strict). So when

all alone I feel as if it's my golden opportunity to eat whatever I want without

being judged. I don't binge anymore, but being alone used to be a major trigger

for binging. I've made so much progress in that area, but really do have a long

way to go. I let people judge me without them actually judging me. I am judging

myself and then putting those judgements onto other people.

Anyway regarding my boredom and inability to do nothing, I have been trying to

find activities to replace eating. Reading is a big thing. I used to read all

the time when I was very young. During high school and college, I pretty much

stopped reading for fun. I graduated 2 years ago, and have tried to find more

time for it. Right now it's pretty much IE related books, but I do hope to start

reading novels in the future. I think they are a great distraction and way of

relaxing. I've downloaded some games on my iPhone and can sometimes get sucked

into them. I also try to watch tv and just relax sometimes. I really have a hard

time relaxing. During college I always had so much to do, that the only time I

allowed myself to relax was when I was eating. I could never just sit and watch

tv for an hour, read a book for fun, or browse the internet. I had to be eating,

" multitasking " , in order to allow myself to do these things. After awhile it

just becomes a habit. I have gotten much better. I am realizing now that

relaxing and doing the things I enjoy are just as important as doing other

" productive " things.

This also leads into one thing I noticed about myself and eating. I eat for

energy, when I'm tired. I feel sometimes as if I cannot stop and rest. I have to

keep going and sometimes the only way I feel I can is if I eat something whether

I am hungry or not. It uplifts my mood and gives me a false sense of energy.

I have really been working on making time to find out what I like doing, giving

myself time to do these things without feeling guilty, and also making a point

to get enough rest and relaxtion. It has been really helpful.

>

> I finally planned a day that wasn't over scheduled and even had time for

myself.

> My plan was to relax.

> Maybe even watch TV (which I never do unless I'm folding laundry or cooking).

> So, I come home after errands and I'm thinking about weather or not I'm

hungry.

> I'm not.

> So... now what?

> I feel restless.

> I don't know what to do with myself.

> I feel bit empty.

> Not unhappy... more like ... ho hum...

> I spend so much time managing the house, working or running errands or...

> dare I say it...

> managing some odd end of my eating issues...

> that I don't know what to do with myself when I'm home alone.

> I usually eat.

> So...now what? (I did eat, but not binge)

> I guess I don't know what to do with all this extra time that dieting and

planning and worrying and eating took up.

> Now I find myself a bit bored and well...

> boring???

> - Yvette

>

[Guest guest]

Wow... you sound a lot like me!!

I just can't relax. I'm not always aware of feeling guilty... I just can't just

sit. We need to figure this out. This is a big source of my overeating. What to

do? Do I need a hobby? Something more intellecually challenging? Something fun

to do? I just don't know.

Okay... lets brainstorm...

- Yvette

[Guest guest]

I'm the opposite, I'm never happier than when I'm relaxing. I actually wish I

had a little more get-up-and-go. I tend to sort of get in a home-body rut. I

have to make sure I make plans to get out of the house to add interest to my

days.

I don't know if I can give any helpful advice, but have you guys tried

meditation. I do the meditation that's not about how clear you mind is, but

about allowing your thoughts to come and then let them go. Maybe that might

slow you down. There's also meditation that's about mindfully following and

being aware of your movements as you do something, even the dishes. Maybe that

could help?

I don't need slowing down, but I find that meditation helps me be more aware of

my thoughts, and helps me to let unhealthy thoughts and emotions just float on

by. My husband's very emotional, and I tend to allow my emotional state to be

dictated by other people's emotions. One unexpected way meditation's helped is

in my ability to see his emotions, and let them just float by me without

attaching to them. Even when he's very emotional, even mad at me, I'm finding

that I can remain very calm and happy. I can be there for him, without making

it about me.

In other words, I'm lovin' meditation.

Sara

>

>

>

> Wow... you sound a lot like me!!

> I just can't relax. I'm not always aware of feeling guilty... I just can't

just sit. We need to figure this out. This is a big source of my overeating.

What to do? Do I need a hobby? Something more intellecually challenging?

Something fun to do? I just don't know.

> Okay... lets brainstorm...

> - Yvette

>

[Guest guest]

You refer to " Mindfulness Meditation " , which I do. I try to do that at least

once a day, but like exercise it really comes out to be more like 3 or 4 times

per week. LOL

I love the way it makes me feel and I do feel so calm and in the moment when I

do it. It is a real challenge for me to let things go long enought to sit down

and do it.

It sounds like halfway between you and me is where we ought to be. LOL

- Yvette

[Guest guest]

How do you do " mindful meditation? "

>

>

> You refer to " Mindfulness Meditation " , which I do. I try to do that at least

once a day, but like exercise it really comes out to be more like 3 or 4 times

per week. LOL

> I love the way it makes me feel and I do feel so calm and in the moment when I

do it. It is a real challenge for me to let things go long enought to sit down

and do it.

> It sounds like halfway between you and me is where we ought to be. LOL

> - Yvette

>

[Guest guest]

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that essentially involves focusing your

mind on the present. To be mindful is to be aware of your thoughts and actions

in the present, without judging yourself.

Research suggests that mindfulness meditation may improve mood, decrease stress,

and boost immune function.