feeling a little better

[Guest guest]

Went to the dietician today, cried on her shoulder, and feel a little better.

I am so used to beating myself up. We discussed my journaling through the last

2 weeks and interestingly, there was alot of positive stuff in there that I

forgot about. I think one of the most important themes that keeps re-occuring

is that I'm starting to stand up for myself more which I guess translates to

" taking care of myself. "

My mother would always say she worries about me, that I dont take care of

myself. And i never understood this. I think - " I take care of myself. " But

now I'm seeing very slowly - I guess you could call it a " waking up " that I

behave in ways around other people that allows them to affect or control me.

Well not really control me, but make me feel guilty!

So my next assignment is: what are the things/people/situations that make me

feel guilty and why. And also to write some descriptive words about Dieting

versus Intuitive Eating.

I've come up with a few thoughts. For dieting: " panic, obsessed,

self-doubting. " For IE-ing: " peaceful, authentic, empowering. "

I do feel a little better. And I do see progress now that I've been reminded of

it. It just isnt fast enough for me!!!! But I guess that would be a descriptor

for the " dieting " column.

Deb