Re: Need perspective on weight gain

[Guest guest]

Very good observations Freja. I find the same things occurring to me at times

too. Some days it seems that its nearly as long to un-do my food/eating habits

as it was to get them in my life! So when I remind myself of that, the 2+ years

I've been plugging away at IE is a flash compared to the 50+ years being non-IE.

If 'willpower' has any validity, to me its for staying the IE course instead of

getting sucked back into the pits of diet mentality. I swear if I even so much

as THINK any diet mentality thoughts (not measuring up to outside standards),

wham! I find myself (momentarily) detoured off the IE trail. I am more trying to

think of any body discomfort as an internal reminder of better choices instead

of how I may have 'failed' (according to others).

Excellent point regarding legalizing! A while back there was a topic thread

about foods that we associated with dieting. Salads, apples, chicken (boneless &

skinless) etc. were there. These are good healthy choices, but just like we

crave those things long denied us, we also tend to reject those things over

encouraged

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

>

> I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It

really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through

my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is

still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult

when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them

with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight

clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and

making me feel bad.

>

> I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

>

> Freja

>

[Guest guest]

I just went to the group's files to see the recommended reading.

I'm really excited to read more about legalizing foods -- all kinds. how funny how obvious something like eating the foods i associated with deprivation too (and dissociating them from deprivation), i just don't even think of it. But if I say my pattern, it's definitely to have less of the foods I associated with deprivation, and I'll often think -- but I like the taste of that. I've got this angry part of me for all the years of restricting (in action or in thought) and negative judgement/fear.

Today I listened to mindful eating meditation before I had lunch. It helped.

Just trying to remember to be curious about my body sensations/reactions around eating instead of afraid/angry at them.

Thanks,

Liz

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: jain_daugh@...Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:39:02 +0000Subject: Re: Need perspective on weight gain

Very good observations Freja. I find the same things occurring to me at times too. Some days it seems that its nearly as long to un-do my food/eating habits as it was to get them in my life! So when I remind myself of that, the 2+ years I've been plugging away at IE is a flash compared to the 50+ years being non-IE. If 'willpower' has any validity, to me its for staying the IE course instead of getting sucked back into the pits of diet mentality. I swear if I even so much as THINK any diet mentality thoughts (not measuring up to outside standards), wham! I find myself (momentarily) detoured off the IE trail. I am more trying to think of any body discomfort as an internal reminder of better choices instead of how I may have 'failed' (according to others). Excellent point regarding legalizing! A while back there was a topic thread about foods that we associated with dieting. Salads, apples, chicken (boneless & skinless) etc. were there. These are good healthy choices, but just like we crave those things long denied us, we also tend to reject those things over encouraged Ehugs, KatchaIEing since March 2007>> I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back into old patterns. > > I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and making me feel bad.> > I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight gain. But all part of the process.> > Freja>

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[Guest guest]

Freja,

I like what Deb wrote this morning about the IE Journey being about taking care

of our bodies. I agree...legalizing and experiencing the pleasure of eating all

kinds of foods: high fat/high calorie, medium fat/medium calorie, and low

fat/low calorie is critical to discovering what's best for your own body. It

sounds like you've recognized that you may have resistance to those

" good/healthy " foods associated with " diet mentality? "

It's so unfortunate that eating " good/healthy food " , according to diet

mentality, may influence people to feel like they are depriving themselves of

" forbidden food. " Similar to what you shared this morning, I believe that we've

discussed, several times on the group, that a part of rejecting diet mentality

is working to eliminate the " good food " vs. " bad food " dichotomy. It's just

food. Getting to the point of embracing and truly letting go of the good food

vs. bad food categories is an important milestone in the IE Journey. Working

through all of the diet mentality thoughts that try to convince you that food

must be categorized in that way can be some great transformative work.

I believe that there are a number of areas that influence weight gain. Like you

shared...an emphasis on eating previously " forbidden food " that tend to be

higher calorie foods. Also, a resistance to regular movement can influence

weight gain. And ofcourse, resistance to certain foods and to regular movement

are typically backlash against diet mentality. For me, past weight gain was

directly related to emotional eating. So, learning to soothe myself without food

has been critical.

One of my biggest fears when I started IE was that I was going to continue to

gain weight. My weight completely stabilized when I started IE...no gain and no

loss. I focused on eating when hungry, incorporating daily movement, and working

with my emotional eating issues. Working through diet mentality wasn't a central

issue of mine. I think that getting to a point of stabilized weight is also an

important/celebratory milestone in the IE journey, if you've been experiencing

weight gain. For me, the fact that my body weight stabilized immediately meant

that I had finally found the balance point for my body through practicing IE.

Legalizing ALL foods, eating intuitively, embracing and doing regular joyful

movement, and working through, eliminating, and working with any emotional

issues related to eating, will ABSOLUTELY lead you to a point of weight

stabilization provided that there are not biological/health reasons also

influencing your body. Consistent practice of these areas of self care has

convinced my body that it's ok to release excess weight that I've been holding

onto. So, I've started to witness/experience a downward shift in weight. Take

care of your body and it will do the rest.

Latoya

Practicing IE since Jan '08.

> I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

>

> Freja

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. The point about legalizing " healthy " foods really made a light go off in my

head. I've been struggling with not feeling deprived if I eat something that I

never restricted before. The thing is I know that I really do enjoy eating a lot

these " healthier " foods. I really do need to let go of this good food/bad food

catorgorizing I do in my head. It's causing me to choose what I think of as

" bad " foods just because I am finally allowed, and choosing something because I

know it's healthier makes me feel deprived. It's hard to just forget all these

lables because they are so engrained in my head. I am really working on choosing

food because it is what I truely want at the time no matter what it is. I do

like being and feeling healthy though, and I'd like to eventually get to the

point where health CAN influence my decision without depriving my mind. I don't

think I can get there though until I get rid of the good food/bad food mentality

and give myself complete permission to eat anything I choose.

Sorry for rambling! This just gave me a lot to think about!

>

> I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

>

> I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It

really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through

my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is

still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult

when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them

with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight

clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and

making me feel bad.

>

> I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

>

> Freja

>

[Guest guest]

Latoya,

Thanks so much for your post. For years I struggled with a diet mentality (teens and early 20's) and I still deal with restricting/binge issues, though much less, but it seems to be much more related to managing emotions for me. or rather, not managing emotions.

i just ate something that i was starting to feel guilt over and reading your post was a real time reminder that i had labeled it as bad food -- how wonderful to be reminded that it's neither good nor bad, it's just food.

the good or bad dichotomy feels like it gives the food/eating so much power, i don't want to live that way anymore.

Thanks again for your post.

Liz

To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: latoyajw@...Date: Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:31:07 +0000Subject: Re: Need perspective on weight gain

Freja,I like what Deb wrote this morning about the IE Journey being about taking care of our bodies. I agree...legalizing and experiencing the pleasure of eating all kinds of foods: high fat/high calorie, medium fat/medium calorie, and low fat/low calorie is critical to discovering what's best for your own body. It sounds like you've recognized that you may have resistance to those "good/healthy" foods associated with "diet mentality?" It's so unfortunate that eating "good/healthy food", according to diet mentality, may influence people to feel like they are depriving themselves of "forbidden food." Similar to what you shared this morning, I believe that we've discussed, several times on the group, that a part of rejecting diet mentality is working to eliminate the "good food" vs. "bad food" dichotomy. It's just food. Getting to the point of embracing and truly letting go of the good food vs. bad food categories is an important milestone in the IE Journey. Working through all of the diet mentality thoughts that try to convince you that food must be categorized in that way can be some great transformative work.I believe that there are a number of areas that influence weight gain. Like you shared...an emphasis on eating previously "forbidden food" that tend to be higher calorie foods. Also, a resistance to regular movement can influence weight gain. And ofcourse, resistance to certain foods and to regular movement are typically backlash against diet mentality. For me, past weight gain was directly related to emotional eating. So, learning to soothe myself without food has been critical. One of my biggest fears when I started IE was that I was going to continue to gain weight. My weight completely stabilized when I started IE...no gain and no loss. I focused on eating when hungry, incorporating daily movement, and working with my emotional eating issues. Working through diet mentality wasn't a central issue of mine. I think that getting to a point of stabilized weight is also an important/celebratory milestone in the IE journey, if you've been experiencing weight gain. For me, the fact that my body weight stabilized immediately meant that I had finally found the balance point for my body through practicing IE. Legalizing ALL foods, eating intuitively, embracing and doing regular joyful movement, and working through, eliminating, and working with any emotional issues related to eating, will ABSOLUTELY lead you to a point of weight stabilization provided that there are not biological/health reasons also influencing your body. Consistent practice of these areas of self care has convinced my body that it's ok to release excess weight that I've been holding onto. So, I've started to witness/experience a downward shift in weight. Take care of your body and it will do the rest. LatoyaPracticing IE since Jan '08.> I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight gain. But all part of the process.> > Freja>

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[Guest guest]

A couple of other things that I wanted to add:

I don't believe that gaining weight has to be a part of the IE journey, unless a

person was underweight when they began. This summer, I read in When Women Stop

Hating Their Bodies, that gaining weight is a part of the dieting cycle. A

person will diet, binge, and then gain all the weight back and more of what they

lost in crazy diet land - that's the complete cycle. I thought that this

understanding/perspective is brilliant...that people will eat their way out of a

diet for their own sanity. So, the implication is that weight gain is a part of

completing the dieting cycle and not a part of the IE/non-dieting process. So,

for me, if a person is experiencing consistent weight gain while practicing IE,

they may be completing the dieting cycle and if the weight gain lasts for more

than 3-6 months, they may want to seek assistance from an IE coach/counselor,

like Gillian, to really focus in on/more quickly transform their individualized

areas that are influencing weight gain.

The other thing is that, for me, practicing IE and the self care it emphasizes

has helped me feel so much " stronger " mentally, physically, emotionally, and

spiritually. So, Freja...what areas have you worked on within IE that have

helped you feel stronger and what continuing work with what IE principles will

help you feel even stronger?

Latoya

>

> I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

> Freja

[Guest guest]

Latoya,

I see what you're saying about how gaining weight isn't automatically part of

the IE journey for everyone. I agree, my gain has come from a combination of

ending a binge, being resistant to movement (big part of diet mentality for me

as I was a crash exerciser and also used to abuse it earlier on), and tending to

eat the formerly forbidden high calorie/fat foods. Realizing that I was

resistant to nutritious foods and avoiding them because I hadn't legalized them

was a huge " OHHH! " moment. I didn't realize that that was what I was doing! Food

is food.

Feel stronger: I can more easily recognize emotional hunger vs. body hunger.

I'm getting better and sitting with my feelings, working them through. I'm

noticing how I don't really want food at that time because I'm so conscience of

the fact it won't solve anything.

Continue working with to feel stronger: Enjoying movement for the sake of taking

care of myself. I've been focusing on just moving in ways that feels intuitively

" right " for that moment in time. Believing that movement for me releases pent up

emotional energy that is stored in my body. Divorcing movement from calorie

burning/weight loss is a difficult one.

Thanks for your replies, Latoya!

> >

> > I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

> > Freja

>

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so glad this gave you a lightbulb moment too! Exciting realization isn't

it?!

You said it very well, " ...choosing something because I know it's healther makes

me feel deprived. "

I didn't realize that I had even been doing this!

> >

> > I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

> >

> > I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It

really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through

my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is

still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult

when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them

with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight

clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and

making me feel bad.

> >

> > I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

> >

> > Freja

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am right there with you Freja. I've gained about 30 pounds in the last two

years or so, though I guess a lot of it was recently. It is not a happy

feeling. I've had to buy a lot of clothes, and then buy more clothes.

I think quite a lot of it was anxiety related. I'm facing a lot of school

things I have to do that I'm scared to do. One thing I am grateful for is the

true, deep, soul-level realization that, now that every possible food is

legalized, I can be certain that food will not help me. Once in a while I eat

even though I KNOW it isn't going to make me feel better, out of some vain hope

that it might just after all. But it doesn't, and these times are becoming less

frequent.

I'm having a hard time finding things to replace food with. Probably the thing

to do, is just do whatever needs doing.

Thea

>

> I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

>

> I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It

really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through

my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is

still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult

when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them

with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight

clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and

making me feel bad.

>

> I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

>

> Freja

>

[Guest guest]

I'm having a hard time finding things to replace food with. Probably the thing

to do, is just do whatever needs doing.

Thea

-Yeah... that's the hardest part. What do I do to comfort myself, soothe myself

or entertain myself? All those things that food used to do for me... what do I

replace them with? I think once I figure that out, I will be over the biggest

hurdle. I think.

-Yvette

[Guest guest]

as long as your alternative to eating is doing something you don't really want to do... i think you will keep eating! because basically in that scenario you are punishing yourself for stopping eating by forcing yourself to do something you dont want to do.

in the Four Day Win the author reccomends finding a substitute activity that is also rewarding, to nurture yourself, other than eating... then after a little while going back to the thing you dont want to do. 

 

I'm having a hard time finding things to replace food with. Probably the thing to do, is just do whatever needs doing.

Thea

-Yeah... that's the hardest part. What do I do to comfort myself, soothe myself or entertain myself? All those things that food used to do for me... what do I replace them with? I think once I figure that out, I will be over the biggest hurdle. I think.

-Yvette

--

[Guest guest]

Yvette, don't know how long you have been trying to apply IE/non-dieting

practices (you mentioned previous group), but what is suggested in When Women

Stop hating Their Bodies (another IE type book) is to create an internal care

taker. This personal care giver is always kind, supportive and encouraging. It

(he/she/whatever you want/need) soothes and let you know that you CAN do what is

needed as well as knowing you are capable and worthy of love too. As you can

find and listen to this wonderful resource for yourself, food becomes

unnecessary to fulfill that function.

Best to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

>

>

> I'm having a hard time finding things to replace food with. Probably the thing

to do, is just do whatever needs doing.

>

> Thea

> -Yeah... that's the hardest part. What do I do to comfort myself, soothe

myself or entertain myself? All those things that food used to do for me... what

do I replace them with? I think once I figure that out, I will be over the

biggest hurdle. I think.

> -Yvette

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Katcha!! I'm going to check out that book!!

Sounds like something I need to read... and read... and read..

LOL

- Yvette

[Guest guest]

Thea and Freja,

I can relate to what both of you are saying...especially what Thea said about

finding it hard to replace food with other things to handle my emotions. I have

also found it is not necessarily the intuitive eating that causes weight gain,

but the emotional overeating. It was when my intuitive eating was combined with

bingeing that I gained the weight....intuitive eating alone doesn't do much

damage to my weight at all.

I think finding other replacements for foods as a coping skills is so important

and I would love to hear more about other coping skills, and more importantly

how people get the willingness to use them.

> >

> > I have not stepped on the scale but I know I've gained about 20-25 pounds

during my IE journey these last couple of years or so. Sometimes the principles

are not in the forefront of my mind and I get distracted by life and fall back

into old patterns.

> >

> > I went to put on a dress that fit me during the early spring, too tight. It

really bummed me out and I noticed the diet mentality thoughts coursing through

my mind. I keep trying to tell myself that it's part of the process. But it is

still hard. My weight is the highest it's ever been. That's a little difficult

when I think about it. To beat down the diet mentality thoughts, I combat them

with IE thoughts. Get back in tune with my body. I packed away all my tight

clothes so that they're not in my closet reminding me of the weight gain and

making me feel bad.

> >

> > I read an excellent thought in When Women Stop Hating their bodies about the

legalizing process. Yes, we need to legalize the forbidden food - usually high

calorie/high fat, etc. BUT we also need to legalize the nutritious foods that

used to be thought of as diet foods/safe foods. Because now when we eat them we

may feel deprived. Hence, we tend to only eat our formerly forbidden now

legalized foods just to prove we're not depriving ourselves. Hence the weight

gain. But all part of the process.

> >

> > Freja

> >

>