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Oh my God! My daughter got a horse 3 months ago and is showing I for 4H at the

county fair. It started Tuesday and lasts through Saturday . With a horse

stalled there we have to arrive at 6 am and don't leave until LATE. (10 or 11

PM). It's 90-100 degrees here, and though I've packed some food and drinks, they

just can't make it through the days cold. Anyway, the problem. I' ve eaten so

much in the last 4 days that my tummy is huge, I feel sick to my stomach, have

heartburn and feel like throwing up.

I am fighting the urge desperately to write everything down and count calories.

I had TWO blooming onions-one yesterday and one today (deep fried with ranch

dressing, then I went to the baking contest and sampled every soup and pie and

colache. After that I chugged two bottles of water and two diet pops. I also

ate a hamburger each day, hostess snacks, 3 cream filled donuts, 64 ounces

chocolate milk (over two days).

I guess the blooming onion thing was because the only time I can have them is

fair time, but I've even bought the onion slicer thingy to make them myself, but

they're never as good.

All day yesterday and today people kept telling me how great I look (-I'm down

15 pounds and maintaining it) so I'm not feeling guilty about my eating. Maybe

the nutritionist is sneaking in to tell me how unhealthy my food choices have

been, but most of all, I just feel SICK to my STOMACH.

I haven't found any one who truly understands why I do this... A friend of mine

told me to research bulemia because many bulemics do NOT purge. I jois want to

understand why I do this to me, and maybe then I can stop it. I definitely have

not deprived myself for MANY YEARS, as I said before that I didn't care what I

weighed until my mom tried to pretend I was the fattest female in out family.

By the way - the bloomin onions were $7.00 each and the first two days of the

fair I refused to pay that for one... Maybe that figures into my binge somehow?

$14 and two days later, I feel sicker than a dog... Even after the nap I just

took between paragraph 5 and 6.

Please help. I'am so tired of doing this to myself...

Knobloch

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from U.S. Cellular

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