Doubt

[Guest guest]

In the IE book, the authors state that eventually everyone will reach a weight

which falls more or less in the recommended range based on height. I've gotta

say, I have my doubts about this. I find myself feeling more and more convinced

that we just come in much more variation than that. I find myself believing in

a set weight or at least a set range. I believe that years of dieting has

changed my set range to a higher number. I believe that making peace with food

may lower my set range, but I have to wonder how much it will change it by.

Then again, maybe these are thoughts I have to explore in order to truly make

peace with food. Maybe, I just have to accept the weight I am now, and accept

that it quite possibly could be my weight forever, to truly find peace now.

Does anyone else have these doubts?

Sometimes I think, well I need to be positive. But then I always end up feelind

disappointed when I focus on losing weight. So, I feel happier when I just

focus on today, and feeling good about myself today. I'm reminded by the

concept in the book of not focusing on weight loss, that that'll lead to

unhappiness and less peace with food.

I don't know, I just feel sort of dissonant. I can't seem to accept that I

could actually lose significant weight while at he same time stay focused on

liking myself now.

The answer seems obvious as I write this. Just ignore what may or may not

happen in the future. It is what it is. I should just like me now.

Back to the " set range. " Has anyone else seen this concept before. It's the

idea that your body has decided what range of weight it will stay in. Stress,

famine, dieting can raise that range. It makes sense to me that peace with

food, and peace in one's life could lower it. I definitely feel that set range

in my life. Back when I was turning IE into a diet, I would make sure I had to

reach moderate hunger before I allowed myself to eat. Then I would eat very

slowly, and only until I was just barely satisfied. Then, if I felt hungry

again very quikly (because I hadn't eaten enough), I would still force myself to

wait until I was moderately hungry again to eat. I lost a few pounds for a few

months of doing this. Then, I noticed that my body started skipping early

hunger cues, and going straight for starving. Plus, I stopped having those

early satisfaction cues, and would only feel satisfied after true fullness had

set in. So my body seemed to change it's cueing system. At this point, even

though I was still technically following the same rules, I was feeling terribly

unpeaceful with food, unsatisfied, and gained back all my weight and then some.

My body made sure it weighed what it wanted to weigh.

Now that I'm focused on peace and total freedom to eat, my set weight has

definitely lowered just a little bit. I go up and down within that lowered

range, but my weight stays put within that range no matter what or how much I

eat, while maintaining that peace with food. I find this comforting though.

Focusing on loving my food and my eating experience is so much nicer. I do

think about hunger and fullness, but only in service to really enjoying food and

eating. Feeling peaceful always takes precedence over the hunger/fullness

principls. I feel comfortable eating past fullness sometimes, because I feel my

body will know just what to do to make up for it--increase metabolism, decrease

my appetite at my next few meals, etc. I know that my body will keep me at the

weight it deems appropriate. I'm convinced that having a peaceful, calm, happy

relationship with food can lower my set range, but I think that'll probably take

a long time. It took a long time for dieting to raise it, right? And I wonder

how low it can actually go.

Does anybody else wonder about these things?

Sara