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Re: insight of the day

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AH! I love this post! I am so excited for you!

: )

- K

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> Subject: insight of the day

> To: " IntuitiveEating_Support " <intuitiveeating_support >

> Date: Tuesday, March 3, 2009, 2:07 PM

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> I just finished a session with Gillian, so she gets part credit :)  We were

talking about what remaining issues I might have about self-sabotage (one of my

big diet problems was that I'd sabotage myself to make my belief that " I always

fail at diets " be true).  We were also celebrating my successes at letting go of

much of my " gotcha " eating  - the secret binges when I was angry, or erasing all

traces that I went through the drive-through or hit the vending machine before I

get home...

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> About 5 minutes after we finished, this came into my mind full-blown:

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> " just because you love him doesn't mean he's right "

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> and... wow, if that's true, I can stop defending myself, feeling defensive, or

arguing (with myself OR him) about any points of disagreement.  I can just do

what seems right to me.  without listing (in my mind or out loud) the 10 reasons

it's ok, even if " he " doesn't agree with me.

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>  it was true of my father, it was true of my first husband, and it's true of

my husband now.

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> I love him to pieces, and he's not always right. 

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> You know what?  I bet as I get that simple idea through my thick skull, it'll

be easier to recognize and appreciate when he IS right because I won't be in the

habit of feeling defensive!

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> It's actually pretty remarkable how much of my life I've wasted with the

energy I put into other people's opinion of my job, my butt, how I hang the

toilet paper on the roll, how often I clean the top of the refrigerator or go to

the gym. I think it's high time to reclaim my internal dialogue for things that

will actually make me happy and move my life forward.

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> I'm not entirely sure how this connects to my eating habits, but I'm 100%

certain that it DOES, or it wouldn't have come up after an hour of talking about

them! LOL  So, now I'm going to go away and think about it :)

>  

> Mikki

>

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>

> About 5 minutes after we finished, this came into my mind full-blown:

> * " just because you love him doesn't mean he's right " *

>

> and... wow, if that's true, I can stop defending myself, feeling defensive,

> or arguing (with myself OR him) about any points of disagreement. I can

> just do what seems right to me. without listing (in my mind or out loud)

> the 10 reasons it's ok, even if " he " doesn't agree with me.

>

Wow, I know exactly what you mean. it's only very recently that I have had the

confidence to do what I want (mostly) without being extremely influenced by what

other people think, or might think, or what I think they think, etc --

especially with regard to food, but also other things.

you know what finally drove this home to me was when I had to teach

undergraduates a couple of years ago. They would do all this obnoxious stuff

and I would be like " how can they think this? that is so obviously wrong. How

could I be so wrong about this? " And the answer is " you're the teacher for a

reason! they're idiot children and you're right! they should listen to you! "

After that I started ignoring opposition in various ways and it's only expanded

since then.

thea

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