More Beautiful You

[Guest guest]

I discovered a great, inspirational song today: " More Beautiful You " by ny

. Whether or not you're into Christian rock, it will touch your heart. I

actually heard a snippet of a radio interview with ny . The verses

start with the phrases " Little girl 14 " and " Little girl 21, " and he said he

often has women come up to him and say, " You could have said 'little girl 54'

and it would have fit me perfectly! "

You can listen to it at www.myspace.com/johnnydiaz if you want to. Or, read the

lyrics here: http://klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2958

At the end of the second verse there's a quote that hits me right at the soul of

my insecurities:

" But I can promise you, there's a man whose love is true, and he'll treat you

like the jewel you are. "

I currently find myself to be the last of my high school friends not married or

engaged, and even though I'm only 27, this bothers me more than I would like to

admit. I settle for not-so-nice guys because I can't imagine that a good guy

would ever look in my direction. It's like my options are either settling for

less, or being alone.

In fact, in the past few months since the end of my last relationship, I've had

a pretty big breakthrough and really firmed up the decision that if I can't have

a good guy, I want to be alone. I would rather be single than end up with

someone I know is not so wonderful.

I find myself thinking I should diet and workout and " be skinny " so that I can

be worthy of a great guy. But the thing is, the guy that I would like to

believe God has for me, will be everything I need when I least deserve it, will

find me irresistable when I feel most unattractive. I don't need to reach a

certain weight on the scale before I can be " worthy " of a good guy. I don't

even need to fix everything on the inside, that I'm working so hard on right

now! If he's the man God has meant for me, he will look at me and see good

in me even if I can't see it in myself.

The point is, this journey, both on the outside AND the inside, needs to be for

me. The right guy will not look at me and see a " defective product, " so to

speak. He won't back away and wait until I'm " not broken anymore, " or if he

does, he's not the right guy. It will happen or it won't, that's up to God.

But either way, I want to live with MYSELF in peace with food and peace with my

body.

" More Beautiful You " is all about the fact that whether I'm blonde or brunette,

pale or dark, tall or short, curly or straight, I've been made just this way.

This body isn't a mistake, this is exactly what He meant to do. I might not

feel like myself or look like myself right now, but if I would " see through the

eyes of a little girl, " I would eat that way, and exercise that way, and be

whatever size and shape I'm supposed to be.