Re: Having a meltdown NOW

[Guest guest]

Abby,

Thanks so much for replying!

I feel better now.

Which is totally something I am

not that used to.

I am much more used to the sucky feelings

about myself sticking around and infecting me

for quite a while.

I did some things to take care of myself

generally and that helped some.

Plus I did something else.

thanks for what you said

in AZ

>

> > I said something yesterday/asked someone something that

> > at the time I didnt think was inappropriate and NOW

> > I am totally freaking out with self-doubt all over the place.

> >

> > Last night was especially bad I didnt ever get to sleep

> > till like 4 am.

> >

> > I just couldnt let the self-doubt rest even though

> > I pretty much think what I did was NOT bad.

> >

> > What is making it worse is I just started walking with

> > a woman who I know from a different part of my life and

> > I know why she didnt want to walk yesterday cause I saw her

> > yesterday and she said she was too busy.

> >

> > I believe that I am okay w/ that.

> >

> > Today I totally slept after the alarm went off

> > because I was SO completely exhausted like nobody's

> > businesss - I still at am 1pm.

> >

> > I only got up to drink some water post this

> > meltdown and put some laundry in the dryer so I

> > wouldnt have to WASH it AGAIN like I did last night.

> > darn it!! hate when that happens.

> >

> > I am having such a hard time not talking

> > everything so personally.

> >

> > She didnt call me last night or this AM

> > to say anything about walking and I

> > was tired yesterday as I got up early to

> > be somewhere yesterday. What I should have

> > done is got some more sleep yesterday after I

> > got home from where I was at, but it just didnt

> > happen cause I didnt make it a priority.

> >

> > I did however walk and get a new battery for the newer

> > pedometer that I have. I dont really trust/believe the

> > older one it said I walked over 7000 steps and 7 miles

> > in an hour UMMMMMM I dont think so...

> >

> > I walked at least two miles to the store and back

> > (A little past the store to make it more even to compare

> > the two pedometer readouts).

> >

> > I still dont know if I programmed my stride correctly for

> > the newer pedometer either....ugh.....

> >

> > Anywways when I finally got up and checked there were no

> > messages or calls from this woman about walking but

> > on tuesday she had asked me about walking the next day but

> > I reminded her that we were supposed to be at the same place

> > wed so walking then was out of the question.

> >

> > I dont recall making plans for today or firming up anything.

> >

> > I think I am afraid that I screwed up saying what I said/did.

> > I didnt say it to her, but she was near and heard it.

> >

> > The person I said it to didnt seem upset about what I said/

> > offered to do but I cannot stop my mind from freaking out

> > about it right now.

> >

> > I wish I didnt care what other people think.

> >

> > super upset right now that I am in this place...

> >

> > thought I was over some of that sort of thing....

> > its like being in prison except this time its not

> > food prison or diet prison.....

> >

> > havent even eaten or drank anything yet today.

> >

> > It has only been like an hour since I got out of bed

> > so I pretty dry from sleeping so I will drink some water and

> > probably go back to bed soon.

> >

> > Just cant seem to get past this upset.....

> >

> > in AZ

> >

> >

> >

>