Re: thank you for the kind welcome

[Guest guest]

Sue,

 

I think it is totally fine that you turned to food for comfort. We all do the best we can with the resources that we have. That was what you needed to do, so it's totally fine. It's good that you were able to take care of yourself. 

 

If I understand you correctly, you are asking how to care for your body as it deals with the physical effects of eating too much? Geneen Roth says the best thing to do is to eat as soon as you get hungry again, to make sure you don't restrict after a binge. If there's other things that you can do that make your body feel good, do those too. Pamper yourself.

 

When my dad died a year ago, I used food for comfort a lot. But since you asked, other sources of comfort for me were " chick lit " type novels, magazines, movies (with shallow plots), and a little bit of meditation of a sort. I mostly did not want to talk to people when I was sad, because I didn't want to put my emotions into words. There weren't words to express my feelings. So I mostly distracted myself, but in a way that felt sort of decadent, and very lovely and peaceful and caring, and trusted that the emotions were working themselves out under the surface. And then one day, after a few months, I felt better, and wanted to be around people more.

 

I think I was lucky in that my grieving was uncomplicated -- I didn't have unanswered questions, or issues, or conflict, or anything like that -- so maybe letting emotions work themselves out under the surface won't work as well for you. But I think just letting yourself be sad helps sometimes.

 

I hope that this is helpful, and also that you are feeling a little less sad.

 

Best,

 

Abby

Dear Group,

 

I wrote back privately to the people who had responded to me yesterday.  The ideas and kindness helped.

 

I have 2 questions.

 

I am in a lot of emotional pain still.  The feeling of rejection by my family members, and abandonment by my online community.  I have grieving to do.

 

I turned very strongly to food, on the first night.  I was very conscious, that that is what I was doing.  I went over and over, in my head, if there were anybody else who I could turn to for support, and if there were anything more I could do to help myself.  I felt I had completely exhausted my current internal and external capacities, for self-care, and food was the only thing left.  And it saved me from even greater self-destructive behavior.  So it is a level of self-care, even if a primitive one.

 

It's hard, once I've binged that badly, to nurse and coach my body back to health, as it deals with the overload.  I'm wondering how other people approach this part of the work.

 

And it's especially hard, for me, right now, to hold this emotional pain.  I feel a sense of disillusionment and deep loss.  I'm wondering how other people approach self-care, with this work, when it comes to times of particular emotional distress.

 

I am fairly limited, with my MCS.  Mostly housebound, and unable to see other people.  (Though I occasionally see my best friend and have to detox my apt. after she goes.  But we talk frequently on the phone.  But she, too, is unavailable right now, running for union office.)  I see a Jungian analyst once per week, as I have for years.

 

Whenever I do my body scan meditation, or my eating meditation, (guided meditations), or my 5-10 minute meditations that I do after each meal, and sometimes before -- or just listening to Geneen or Pema -- they bring my presence back to myself, so that I can really be with myself, and my pain.  That is always a relief.  But it takes effort for me, I can't sustain it throughout the day.  It is moments of reprieve.

 

Any suggestions for self-care when navigating one's way through these sorts of pains would be appreciated.  Others' insights and perspectives help a lot.

 

Warm greetings,

Sue

[Guest guest]

I am assuming when you mentioned Pema you are speaking of Pema Chodron whose

books and ideas I absolutely love.

One of the things I try to remind myself when I am feeling pain of the emotional

variety is that I have to watch labelling anything I feel as bad or " wrong " .

When I give the feelings labels that connotate something is bad or wrong I then

try to fix it which usually means covering it up and trying to pretend like it

isn't there. Or conversely I assume that if I am feeling something then somehow

I AM that feeling which then turns into a cycle of hatred. Food of course, is a

great way to cover things up and I have used that in many respects in my life.

I am not sure if I have any great ideas on how to navigate through the feelings

as I am still very much in the discovery part of that journey for myself too. I

seem to remember Pema mentioning the idea of giving things space. Give the

feelings, thoughts, emotions their respective space and let them breathe...

My best to you,

>

> Dear Group,

>

> I wrote back privately to the people who had responded to me yesterday. The

ideas and kindness helped.

>

> I have 2 questions.

>

> I am in a lot of emotional pain still. The feeling of rejection by my family

members, and abandonment by my online community. I have grieving to do.

>

> I turned very strongly to food, on the first night. I was very conscious,

that that is what I was doing. I went over and over, in my head, if there were

anybody else who I could turn to for support, and if there were anything more I

could do to help myself. I felt I had completely exhausted my current internal

and external capacities, for self-care, and food was the only thing left. And

it saved me from even greater self-destructive behavior. So it is a level of

self-care, even if a primitive one.

>

> It's hard, once I've binged that badly, to nurse and coach my body back to

health, as it deals with the overload. I'm wondering how other people approach

this part of the work.

>

> And it's especially hard, for me, right now, to hold this emotional pain. I

feel a sense of disillusionment and deep loss. I'm wondering how other people

approach self-care, with this work, when it comes to times of particular

emotional distress.

>

> I am fairly limited, with my MCS. Mostly housebound, and unable to see other

people. (Though I occasionally see my best friend and have to detox my apt.

after she goes. But we talk frequently on the phone. But she, too, is

unavailable right now, running for union office.) I see a Jungian analyst once

per week, as I have for years.

>

> Whenever I do my body scan meditation, or my eating meditation, (guided

meditations), or my 5-10 minute meditations that I do after each meal, and

sometimes before -- or just listening to Geneen or Pema -- they bring my

presence back to myself, so that I can really be with myself, and my pain. That

is always a relief. But it takes effort for me, I can't sustain it throughout

the day. It is moments of reprieve.

>

> Any suggestions for self-care when navigating one's way through these sorts of

pains would be appreciated. Others' insights and perspectives help a lot.

>

> Warm greetings,

> Sue

>