Monday musings

[Guest guest]

I've spent a good two weeks on the concept of being kind to myself and I think it's starting to sink in LOL.  Last week was rough on a physical level (started a second, stronger round of antibiotics for a lung infection that I've had for a month), but " taking care of myself " in my illness translated (for the frsit time!) to eating what my body wants rather than what my head says is a treat!  I now have a new definition for " indulgent " = " eating exactly what is most satisfying and delicious in the moment " .

 

I also found a new workout video (though it's not really a " workout " ) called " Hot Body, Cool Mind " (stupid title, great content LOL).  I'm not sure if someone here recommended it or if I just ran across it - but I've done it twice and it's a wonderful way to wake up and get energized for the day... based on yoga, tai chi, and tibetan practices but not too " new age " .  I did the standing section this morning and started the day happy and peaceful, and realized that it is so NICE to do a morning routine that feels like " me time " to nurture myself, not " drag my sorry butt out of bed way to early and punish myself for eating like a pig by forcing myself through a tortuous aerobics video " (don't get me wrong, I like to exercise, but not first thing in the morning  - although that's frequently the only quiet time I get for it).

 

It was the first time I realized that I've used exercise (or thought of it) as a punishment for overeating or not being small enough.  I need some more time to process this new thought, but it feels right! 

 

So this week I'm going to focus on nurturing ways to " indulge " myself (by having exactly what brings me joy, not by the usual criteria of fat or calorie content , and also nurturing movement - I DO want to regain some strength and stamina after a long spring of illness in the family and myself, but I am going to take care that I don't feel that what I'm doing is punishing or a burden.  I also have my 1st counseling session tomorrow and have no idea what that will bring, but I'm looking forward to it.  I'm " scheduled " , as it were, to descend into PMDD hell shortly but at the moment I'm feeling pretty peaceful even though I'm starting to have the physical symptoms - so I can't decide whether to take my Zoloft or now, right now i'm leaning towards waiting for the emotional kick in the nuts (or ovaries I suppose .  who knows, with all this new emotional equilibrium maybe I won't need it!?

 

Mikki