Epiphany - Food and Feelings--Psychoactive Foods

August 13, 2009

I had an epiphany yesterday. My focus has been on paying attention to how I am

feeling and noticing when I am triggered to eat when I'm not hungry. Yesterday

I had figured out this really complex, multi-million dollar problem at work and

I was all excited and mapping it out on a timeline for presentation next week.

It is a real rush to me when I enjoy a piece of work like that - anyway, I

noticed that I immediately wanted to eat chocolate raisins while so busy working

on this timeline. I stopped and asked myself " why do I want these? " and I

realized that the answer was " to increase my high that I am already having " !

Without judgment I saw that as fascinating, and continued to eat my raisins and

noticed the great sensations from the taste, and that it boosted my energy

(chocolate), etc. Since I ate so many of them, I ended up an hour later with

that sick feeling - you guys know that feeling I'm sure!

Well, my next experiment with myself as my very own laboratory, is to notice

when i get those intense cravings and, instead of resisting and setting off

really bad things, to try different types of foods and to really notice the

effect it has on my feelings/mood - whether good mood or depressed mood. To

truly study when I am triggered and what that food does for me. If I drown it

out with judgment and mean talk to myself, I will never fully discover the

potential here. For example, it's OK to boost mood as part of self-care -

rather, can I achieve the same boost with far less, given the lag time between

eating something and the 10-20 minutes later that it registers in our brain?

Also to try other things that will boost mood, as well. But if I deprive myself

or restrict myself from having foods that my body is telling me to eat at

particular times, that sets off bad body thoughts and binging.

I have also noticed that my hunger is raging when I wake up, and it keeps

reappearing relatively quickly all morning, at which points I honor my hunger.

However, by about 3pm, I am completely satiated and could care less about eating

for stomach hunger, because I don't have it for the rest of the day, except for

something that a small snack will satisfy.

Thoughts anyone?

XOXO, Judi

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