Re: so many foods to legalize! help!

[Guest guest]

Hi Diane,

I can so relate to where you're at. I spent years being at where you're at.

It's been worth the journey to go through that uncomfortable stage, though. But

it is such an uncomfortable, really frightening, stage. Reading every book I

could find on the subject really helped me, too. I think your focus on

improving how you feel about your body is key. I recently brought up the topic

here(I think it was called 'the same negative thoughts') of how I recently

realized that the negative things that pop into my mind about my body are the

same negative things I've always thought about my body, regardless of whether I

was thin or fat. I really believe that the way we choose to see ourselves can

remain very static, regardless of reality, and that those negative thoughts

don't really have much to do with logic or reality most of the time. It's

really hard to accept that, but I believe it's true. Many here responded with

such helpful insights on that topic. You might want to look up that thread.

I have been turning my focus more and more on loving myself as is, and accepting

my body enough to let it find the weight it chooses to be. And on seeing myself

as beautiful now, and on seeing other people's bodies as beautiful, regardless

of weight. That's where I have found the greatest peace. Of course, we're all

different, and we all have different needs and different paths. Sounds like

you're doing an excellent job searching for your path. Just know that that

discomfort comes and goes, but overall gets better over time. Try to be very

kind and loving to yourself along the way.

Peace,

Sara

>

> Hi all,

>

> I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the past

15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3 years I

had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week after week.

and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i still - HATED

MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i ever see myself

ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I couldnt see it. I

finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was one of the longest

maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but had developed my own

along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during the week and allowing

myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too much - increasing my

daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even eventually jogging. I am 52

and not the thinnest of people and began to feel the pain in my knees and began

to lose enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually never said no to any food - i

just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or week. but the main problem was

the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE method and bought all the books

- the one about when women stop hating their bodies - started me on this

journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am now reading Geneen's books.

I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband agrees with the fact that my body

will reach it's natural weight and it might be heaveir then when I was starving

it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am hungry and then eat - i feel

wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich

with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is the best! my fear is - there

are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also legalizing amounts of them

also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there are that i havent let myself

eat in a very long time and I am scared that I won't have time or rather won't

always want them so when i do eat them i tend to overeat them - past the point

of satiety. there are alot of my " diet " foods that i love also - and when i

calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage cheese and fresh tomatoes and

cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods that are still waiting for me to

legalize - i forget about the simple foods and try to find something former bad

to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight back. I do feel alot better about

my body since i have started this process. funny - I am at least 10 pounds

heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet obsession is lessening. I would

appreciate comments. Thank you.

>

[Guest guest]

Diane,It is scary at first when you legalize all the foods, but I have found (and I think a lot of people here have also) that once you start feeling that you can have them all, there is no need to have them all. At first you will find yourself eating those foods and you have to be careful to not keep telling yourself that you're afraid you won't want to stop or that you shouldn't be eating them.When I first started doing IE, I wanted candy or some type of sweet treat every day. I only at a small amount but I found myself feeling guilty about it and thinking that I "shouldn't" want it every day. I then finally realized that thinking that I "shouldn't" be wanting it every day and feeling that the feeling of wanting it "should" stop was making it stay. I finally let go of that and I found that I don't want

sweets as much as before. I've also found that I go through spells where I want more than at other times. I've seen some real miracles happen with me. Like you I gave up so many foods for many years. I gave up sweets made with refined sugar for about 8 or 9 years and I went back and forth with white flour foods, with them mostly being forbidden for many years. I found that at first I wanted more of those foods, but now we have an ice cream cake in the freezer from my fiance's birthday on July 30. We ate the cake on his birthday and then one other time and have since forgotten about it and haven't eaten it. It's amazing for me to see something like this. I also noticed that I had less "trouble" with an ice cream alternative (I think it's called So Delcious made with coconut milk and agave nectar) because I felt that it was ok to eat it and was a healthy

alternative. Although I thought it was delicious, I found that I could only eat a spoon or two at a time, which I still haven't mastered with the more "unhealthy" ice cream. I have made strides though.Good luck to you. It's a wonderful journey and it's a wonderful feeling to know you don't have to deprive yourself anymore. SharonSubject: so many foods to legalize! help!To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, August 23, 2009, 9:40 AM

Hi all,

I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the past 15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3 years I had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week after week. and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i still - HATED MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i ever see myself ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I couldnt see it. I finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was one of the longest maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but had developed my own along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during the week and allowing myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too much - increasing my daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even eventually jogging. I am 52 and not the thinnest of people and began to feel the pain in my knees and began to lose

enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually never said no to any food - i just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or week. but the main problem was the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE method and bought all the books - the one about when women stop hating their bodies - started me on this journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am now reading Geneen's books. I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband agrees with the fact that my body will reach it's natural weight and it might be heaveir then when I was starving it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am hungry and then eat - i feel wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is the best! my fear is - there are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also legalizing amounts of them also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there are that i havent let myself eat in a very long time and I am

scared that I won't have time or rather won't always want them so when i do eat them i tend to overeat them - past the point of satiety. there are alot of my "diet" foods that i love also - and when i calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage cheese and fresh tomatoes and cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods that are still waiting for me to legalize - i forget about the simple foods and try to find something former bad to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight back. I do feel alot better about my body since i have started this process. funny - I am at least 10 pounds heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet obsession is lessening. I would appreciate comments. Thank you.

[Guest guest]

I recently had the same concern, but it was explained to me that it's not that

you have to legalize each and every separate food out there, but legalize food.

So in legalizing some, as you are now doing, you are on your way to legalizing

them all. Hope that makes sense.

When your head starts to say, " Hey, what about all those other foods? " Just

keep reminding yourself, you can can whatever you feel like having. Then your

head won't be thinking it's going to be missing out or told no to. And it

really won't be, because the more intuitive you are in your eating, the more

safe you are to not eat more than your body wants.

KT

KT

>

> Hi all,

>

> I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the past

15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3 years I

had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week after week.

and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i still - HATED

MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i ever see myself

ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I couldnt see it. I

finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was one of the longest

maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but had developed my own

along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during the week and allowing

myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too much - increasing my

daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even eventually jogging. I am 52

and not the thinnest of people and began to feel the pain in my knees and began

to lose enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually never said no to any food - i

just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or week. but the main problem was

the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE method and bought all the books

- the one about when women stop hating their bodies - started me on this

journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am now reading Geneen's books.

I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband agrees with the fact that my body

will reach it's natural weight and it might be heaveir then when I was starving

it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am hungry and then eat - i feel

wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich

with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is the best! my fear is - there

are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also legalizing amounts of them

also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there are that i havent let myself

eat in a very long time and I am scared that I won't have time or rather won't

always want them so when i do eat them i tend to overeat them - past the point

of satiety. there are alot of my " diet " foods that i love also - and when i

calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage cheese and fresh tomatoes and

cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods that are still waiting for me to

legalize - i forget about the simple foods and try to find something former bad

to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight back. I do feel alot better about

my body since i have started this process. funny - I am at least 10 pounds

heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet obsession is lessening. I would

appreciate comments. Thank you.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Diane: Rather than worry about legalizing each food you were taught was 'bad'

or 'fattening' by your diet club, understand that NO food is inherently

'fattening' or will cause you to gain weight in moderate quantities.

Consistently overeating, eating when we're not hungry and not stopping when we

feel full can cause weight gain. So we can eat any food within the boundaries

of hunger and satisfaction without gaining weight and even lose weight if we

need to lose weight.

The problem with diets is that they blame the FOOD, rather than teach us to take

responsibility for our eating habits by honoring our hunger and fullness cues.

Even after we abandon the diets, we still need to take responsibility for our

eating choices.

However, we don't crave foods we have never eaten, even if we see them in a food

commercial. Our experiences with foods and beliefs about certain foods

(especially that they taste and feel good in our bodies) make us crave those

foods. So you might begin with legalizing the foods that you know you enjoy or

make your body feel good, because you may crave those foods more than foods you

have never eaten. Nevertheless, you may eventually want to experiment with

other foods, healthier foods or junk foods, just to see how you feel after

eating those.

SUE

>

> Hi all,

>

> I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the past

15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3 years I

had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week after week.

and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i still - HATED

MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i ever see myself

ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I couldnt see it. I

finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was one of the longest

maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but had developed my own

along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during the week and allowing

myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too much - increasing my

daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even eventually jogging. I am 52

and not the thinnest of people and began to feel the pain in my knees and began

to lose enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually never said no to any food - i

just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or week. but the main problem was

the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE method and bought all the books

- the one about when women stop hating their bodies - started me on this

journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am now reading Geneen's books.

I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband agrees with the fact that my body

will reach it's natural weight and it might be heaveir then when I was starving

it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am hungry and then eat - i feel

wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich

with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is the best! my fear is - there

are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also legalizing amounts of them

also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there are that i havent let myself

eat in a very long time and I am scared that I won't have time or rather won't

always want them so when i do eat them i tend to overeat them - past the point

of satiety. there are alot of my " diet " foods that i love also - and when i

calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage cheese and fresh tomatoes and

cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods that are still waiting for me to

legalize - i forget about the simple foods and try to find something former bad

to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight back. I do feel alot better about

my body since i have started this process. funny - I am at least 10 pounds

heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet obsession is lessening. I would

appreciate comments. Thank you.

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi all,

>

> I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the past

15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3 years I

had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week after week.

and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i still - HATED

MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i ever see myself

ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I couldnt see it. I

finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was one of the longest

maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but had developed my own

along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during the week and allowing

myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too much - increasing my

daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even eventually jogging. I am 52

and not the thinnest of people and began to feel the pain in my knees and began

to lose enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually never said no to any food - i

just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or week. but the main problem was

the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE method and bought all the books

- the one about when women stop hating their bodies - started me on this

journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am now reading Geneen's books.

I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband agrees with the fact that my body

will reach it's natural weight and it might be heaveir then when I was starving

it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am hungry and then eat - i feel

wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my peanut butter and jelly sandwich

with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is the best! my fear is - there

are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also legalizing amounts of them

also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there are that i havent let myself

eat in a very long time and I am scared that I won't have time or rather won't

always want them so when i do eat them i tend to overeat them - past the point

of satiety. there are alot of my " diet " foods that i love also - and when i

calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage cheese and fresh tomatoes and

cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods that are still waiting for me to

legalize - i forget about the simple foods and try to find something former bad

to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight back. I do feel alot better about

my body since i have started this process. funny - I am at least 10 pounds

heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet obsession is lessening. I would

appreciate comments. Thank you.

>

i just wanted to let you know you are not alone! this is the hardest part i

think for many of us. the book tells you your body will settle at it's

natural/happy weight. but what scares me is what if thats not a weight i'm okay

with? i have just started to get over the whole legalizing thing. it is much

easier for me now to say " yeah, i could eat that but i don't really want it

anyways. i would feel so much better if i just had a healthy snack. " so just

hang in there. it takes time.

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I am new to this approach although i had developed some part of it in the

past 15 years while i was maintaining a 80pound weight loss. the past 2 -3

years I had been pressurizing myself trying to stay at the same number week

after week. and i began to realize that even if i was 2 - 3 pounds heavier i

still - HATED MY BODY - HATED THE WAY I LOOKED I kept thinking when will i

ever see myself ok? so ok everyone else thought i looked great but inside I

couldnt see it. I finally had the courage to drop my diet club - where i was

one of the longest maintaining people - ( I was no longer doing their diet but

had developed my own along the way. which meant eating next to nothing during

the week and allowing myself whatever i wanted over the weekend or if i ate too

much - increasing my daily 6 mile walk to sometimes twice a day or even

eventually jogging. I am 52 and not the thinnest of people and began to feel

the pain in my knees and began to lose enjoyment for my daily walk! I actually

never said no to any food - i just adjusted my eating the rest of the day or

week. but the main problem was the way i saw myself. When i came across the IE

method and bought all the books - the one about when women stop hating their

bodies - started me on this journey. I can't stop reading all the books and am

now reading Geneen's books. I am afraid of gaining the weight - my husband

agrees with the fact that my body will reach it's natural weight and it might be

heaveir then when I was starving it. when i concentrate on waiting till I am

hungry and then eat - i feel wonderful! when i concentrate on enjoying my

peanut butter and jelly sandwich with all its gooeeness when i am hungry - it is

the best! my fear is - there are so many foods that I am legalizing - and also

legalizing amounts of them also! - I am overwhelmed about how many foods there

are that i havent let myself eat in a very long time and I am scared that I

won't have time or rather won't always want them so when i do eat them i tend

to overeat them - past the point of satiety. there are alot of my " diet " foods

that i love also - and when i calm down i realize tht all i want is cottage

cheese and fresh tomatoes and cucumbers. but if i think about all the foods

that are still waiting for me to legalize - i forget about the simple foods and

try to find something former bad to eat. I don't want to gain all the weight

back. I do feel alot better about my body since i have started this process.

funny - I am at least 10 pounds heavier than my lowest weight! and the diet

obsession is lessening. I would appreciate comments. Thank you.

> >

> i just wanted to let you know you are not alone! this is the hardest part i

think for many of us. the book tells you your body will settle at it's

natural/happy weight. but what scares me is what if thats not a weight i'm okay

with? i have just started to get over the whole legalizing thing. it is much

easier for me now to say " yeah, i could eat that but i don't really want it

anyways. i would feel so much better if i just had a healthy snack. " so just

hang in there. it takes time.

>

WOW!! I got the goosebumps when I read this! Thank you so much! your sentence

- " what if it is not the weight I'm ok with " - hit it right on the nail. And I

have been feeling exactly what you shared. that I can easier say now - not

always - but sometimes - I would rather have a healthy snack! And I stopped

myself from going on the scale when I wanted to see the number that I am

probably not ok with. As I go through each meal each day each lesson - I am

beginning to believe that in the end my weight will reestablish itself becasue I

will WANT to eat healthier more of the time. When I want to shut the tv off when

I sit down to eat- beleive me that is a real difficult thing - I begin to

understand what I have been missing. For a deep change like that to happen to

me - what can I say - it makes me feel good.