Hunger - Desire - Journaling

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone ~

I was just catching up on all the posts over the past two days. A lot of

interesting stuff. I too see food as my friend...and why not, it has been all

of my life. I'm 49 years old, so it's been a long time. Having used foods for

all the emotions and what not for all those years isn't going to go away over

night. Others who didn't use food for their emotions, might have used something

else or dealt with it in a healthier way. A lot of us have not. It's going to

take time and struggle and work to break this habit of turning to food. At

least that is the way I see it for me.

I didn't eat breakfast this morning, other than some coffee, because I wasn't

hungry, after having a somewhat big and late dinner last night (out with

friends). Not being hungry this morning was to be expected...and it's okay

because I can eat next time I'm hungry. However, like many of you...I struggled

with waiting for the hunger. Food has always filled so many needs, that now I

struggle with all of those feelings and not using food to fill them. Going

through my moods/feelings today were; it's Monday and back to work, I'm kind of

bored at work today and I have some personal issues going on (nothing big, but

there). I would normally eat for all of these reasons to get away from these

feelings, because when I ate I was occupied with the food and not the other

issues. I know I have to work through this...and it's hard.

I would imagine it will get easier in time...but I really want to make this

work...not just to lose weight, which I have a lot to lose. But, I don't want

food to be my enemy and my compulsion anymore. I want to enjoy food and I want

to enjoy life. The food part, intellectually is easy....we can eat what we

want, anytime we want, so there is no deprivation there. The problem, at least

for me, is dealing with the bad habit of using food for every issue in my life.

I will always have issues and I have to deal with them in better ways.

Again, I see this as making peace with food...don't let food be the enemy. If

we have times we eat more than we should, so what. If we keep punishing

overselves for this, we'll continue to stay in the diet mentality and blaming

the food, when it's really not the food, but how we are dealing with every day

and all the things that come up. We are human, and we are not going to be

perfect. That's Okay...who said it's not okay to be human and make mistakes. We

just need to learn from these things now.

As far as journaling...I'm not good with it either. To me, it's keeping diet

mentality alive and well..and I want to let that go. Actually, just posting

here and reading posts is a type of journaling..and good enough for me.

Anyway, these are my thoughts for today. I want to thank all of you for your

continual posts...we all have so much in common and the support of doing and

going through this together is very powerful...in a good way.

[Guest guest]

Yes, , some great books were actually journals. :-) So my personal thoughts on journaling are not really important, but I do know I do not want to or need to write down my personal thoughts to myself. I already know them. And I have a couple of good friends who will listen when I call, or when they call me. I truly wouldn't want someone to find my diary, or journal, hanging around -- nobody's business. <g> It is good to reflect on things, though. I enjoy bouncing thoughts around on the boards occasionally because sometimes it helps to place my thoughts in proper perspective, also some people such as yourself come in to really help and not just tickle me. :-) (That means make me feel good, but they actually want to help.) So that's why I like this kind of "journaling." CindiHi CINDI ~

Thanks for your post. Yah...just want to make sure everyone knows, that when I talked about journaling not being for me, doesn't make it right or wrong, bad or good. Just, not for me, right now. For others, I'm sure it's very helpful and therefore should be done. We each have to find what helps and works for us. There was a time when I did journal about feelings and stuff and it was extremeley helpful, so there is a time and place for everything.