Guest guest Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 great thread .... regarding the tendency to drag in your 'whole past' regarding food when you feel that you've had a setback ... I got a great tip from a counselor recently. She wasn't specifically talking about food but about emotions in general. I have a very " immediate " response to memories of the past - whenever someone pushes my buttons it can pull up very powerful feelings from my past that feel very, very immediate like the original trauma just happened - then I end up over-reacting to the present situation rather badly. Her advice was to take just a moment to pause and tell myself " Time Tunnel " . This is a great short trigger phrase for me to snap me out of panic mode for just long enough to start thinking again, to realize that I'm reacting to my hurt little girl memories and not reality. I'm starting to apply this to eating too - when I start going into the old routine " I always screw up " etc, beating myself up for having a 2nd helping or whatever, using my magic phrase " Time Tunnel! " reminds me that I have a choice to step away from the long chain of historical events and feelings, and simply deal with the moment as it is. It's been really helpful for me so I thought I'd pass it on for anyone else ... Mikki .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2009 Report Share Posted September 9, 2009 Hi Alana and everyone else! I'm so happy to hear that my post has been helpful. It can be really difficult to see what is going on when you are the one in the middle of it! And Latoya, great observations! I really don't like the word control. People come to me saying they want to get the food thing under control, or worse, themselves under control! Dieting and restricting is control and of course it's followed by overeating, guilt, shame, beating yourself up, etc. Keep going! You all are doing great and you can't do it "wrong"! Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM Get your report, "The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating" at http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of ajslintonSent: Tuesday, September 08, 2009 6:35 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Struggling Gillian, you have been so missed! It is sure great to get your wonderful insight again! I don't know if this helps the original person who posted this, but after doing IE for 2 years now, I so needed to read this post from Gillian. You are so right Gillian, thank for the reminder, that these feelings are really truly about feeling out of control. It has been quite stressful at my work lately and even I was thinking about contacting my chiropractor to get some help losing weight. I was feeling fat the last couple of days but I so remember you telling me that fat is not a feeling, that it's something deeper. It's really about my fear that my boss will find out I'm doing a good job (which is so not the case) or that I'm stupid (just my silly head voices!)That thinking of going back to dieting is like standing on the edge of a cliff and we all need to be talked down and pulled away from the ledge. Thanks for doing just that!Alana>> Everyone here has given excellent advice and insight. That's what is so> great about this group. I'd like to second (or third, fourth?) the idea that> you don't start IE over again. Since it isn't a diet, you don't go off it.> You may have times that you are less aware and in touch, but you don't go> off or do it wrong, or anything like that. I love that about IE!> > I also wanted to share an observation that I don't think has already been> said. First, congratulations on finding IE and adopting it. The desire to go> on a diet is very normal, especially in the beginning. And there's nothing> wrong with wanting to, we have all felt that way. Here's the thing - when> someone wants to go on a diet and they have been working on IE, it's a clue> that something is going on. It's not about the food or your body or your> weight. Sure, it feels like it, and trust me, I did not believe that to be> true for a long time when I was first told it. But it's absolutely true.> Dieting is about having control. We get the urge to diet when we are wanting> to control something that we can't. If you can't control another situation,> well, you can control yourself and the way to do it is with a diet. I know> it feels like you want to lose weight or whatever, and yes, you may really> want that. But this came up after getting this stressful client. You may> feel trapped or just plain stressed and you can't control your client's> behavior, therefore, the desire to diet. > > When the urge to diet comes up, remember it's a sign that something else is> going on. So let's assume that it's about the client. What part of this> situation can you control? Just guessing, you can control your behavior> towards her and you can control any stress or anxiety that you're> experiencing outside of your time with the client. See if you can turn your> focus to that. This is what's really going on and focusing on the actual> situation is an example of self-care in a positive way. As for what you> can't control? Instead of denying your feelings and taking it out on your> body, focus on staying in the moment. I know it's not fun and you don't get> that "high" you get with the start of a diet, but in the long run it will> give you calm and less stress. You get nervous about seeing the client,> bring yourself back to the present. Right now you are ok, everything is> fine. You're with the client and it comes back up, stay in the moment.> Control your behavior, let the rest go and stay in the moment. You could> even list what the potential positive things are that will come from this> client. You will more than likely learn something new which is a growing> experience, you get to play with letting go of what you can't control and> staying present, and if you get to choose who you work with, you now have a> great example of the kind of person you do NOT want to work with.> > I'm not trying to come off as a cheerleader or saying everything is> wonderful. But if you can look at the situation as a learning opportunity,> you will be greatly rewarded and you will have made yet another forward step> in your IE journey.> > I hope that helps!> > > Thanks!> Gillian> Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM> > Get your report, "The 6 Steps to Guilt-Fr*e Eating" at> http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com <http://www.healthieroutcomes.com/> > Follow me on Twitter: <http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood>> http://www.twitter.com/gillianhood> > > > _____ > > From: IntuitiveEating_Support > [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of lisazach0801> Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2009 7:24 PM> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Subject: Struggling> > > > > So I just started this intuitive eating thing about 4 months ago after 20> years of dieting, not dieting, dieting again, bingeing, purging, etc. The> whole thing. So when I first started this intuitive eating, i was excited> about it, found I was doing really well. Then 6 weeks later I moved onto a> stressful client (I'm a consultant) and work is very stressful, long hours,> etc., and my intuitive eating has gone right out the window. Any progress I> made is gone. I know I'm not supposed to go back on a "diet" per se, yet I> feel desperate. I've already gained about 6 lbs and I'm terrified. How do I> get myself back on the horse? I'm scared I'll never get there and I don't> know what I'm going to do about it.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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