Re: Re: It's my birthday, and I just feel old...

[Guest guest]

Thanks Latoya :)As long as there are no thunderstorms we are planning to go to the pool this afternoon - which is a lot more fun now that I've gotten over the " oh my god what do people think of what I look like in a swimsuit " angst (well.... mostly .    I may even make some PBJ sammiches to take for the kids to have a little picnic dinner there (they've been asking for it), then I can kick back and relax when we get home while hubby makes me a steak and crab-leg dinner

 

It's amazing what a little phrase can do to slowly transform your whole outlook on things ... for instance the IE phrase " honor your body " never really resonated with me... but one of the suggestions in the book I'm reading (the Four day win) is the similar phrase " be kind to your body/self " and that just hit me like a ton of bricks --- the first time I used it in meditation I cried like a baby over the whole concept of actually being KIND to myself.  Now I use it to replace negative thinking as I catch myself, and when making decisions about what/how much to eat, exercise, or just what to do for the afternoon or the rest of my life, I'm starting to ask myself " how can I be kind to myself (mind/body/emotions) in this situation? "   It's been sooo powerful for me.  When I went back and re-read my post and asked myself how I can show kindness to myself with these feelings, the answer that came to me was to spend a few moments honoring the memory of my friend and to give myself a little pep talk to remind myself of what I've been doing with my life while I've been gaining weight and not exercising LOL (helping my friend through her last days, working on my PhD, nursing my husband through a bad injury and my children through 2 bouts of the flu) .... this really helped me realize that not only have I been tremendously productive this past year nurturing the ones I love, but that I've really EARNED the right to now spend some time nurturing myself!

 

I'm tearing up a little right now with emotions I can't find the words for - just the sensation of actually being NICE to myself for the first time in my life is just amazing.  Not just by starting to use food to nourish myself instead of punish, reward, or distract, but in ALL areas of my life. And I really owe so much of it to the wisdom of the ladies on this board, for the constant encouraging atmosphere, the reminders to keep being gentle with ourselves and keep looking forward, the book recommendations and nuggets of wisdom that always seem to pop up at just the right time ...

 

Mikki