Re: OT/Duncan's Court Date LONG

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry to hear about the court date today...I thought for sure this would be the end of it....My prayers are you with and your family!!!

Maggie

[Guest guest]

Terry

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that again, there is definately

something wrong with a system that will send a defenseless baby back to an

unfit mother, just so that they can prove she's unfit. My thoughts and

prayers are with you all, one day Duncan will know how hard you've fought for

him, and he'll love you all the more because of it.

[Guest guest]

So, as you can imagine, we are in utter turmoil here. Distraught, upset, sad, confused, yet confident that the God we serve is faithful to complete the good works He has started. If there is anything I desire at all right now, it would be for all the wonderful friends we have on this list to pray continually for a miracle in Duncan's life, and for God's protection of him, no matter what happens.

Terry, I'm so sorry you have to go through this uncertainty. It is hard on everyone involved and not fair at all! All of you are in my prayers.

in Tucson

[Guest guest]

>The bad news is that Duncan has to actually go there and be subjected to

>the " care " that provides while they investigate the case which could

>take several months. Not good. I think I've share with you guys before

>the history of having lost 2 children already to neglect/child abuse

>related incidents. It was a " failure to protect " situation which she, of

>course, maintains she was faultless in.

I am very sorry to hear what a mess this is.

I have somewhat non-mainstream views regarding adoption,

having had a front row seat to it - or I should say to

'the system' for almost 37 years.

The only person in this mess who should be considered at

this point is Duncan. It's not fair to yank him here and

there and make him move because his first mother can't

make a decision. It's damaging to a baby to do that.

Every baby deserves a home where he or she is loved and

important. I am sorry that doesn't seem to be able

to put Duncan first.

Dana

------------------------------------------------------------------

" For I lean on no dead kin, my name in mine for fame or scorn

And the world began when I was born and the world is mine to win. "

-Badger

[Guest guest]

OH Terry! This is all so difficult for you *super big hug*.

You are in my prayers and I will continue hoping that everything works out

for the best.

A.

[Guest guest]

Terry... Words are ineffective but I am so truly very deeply sorry you are

going thru this. We have all prayed, and will continue to do so. I know

where you stand concerning God and His will. Because of this I know you and

Art will be okay no matter what the eventual outcome. I am just sorry you

have to go thru this emotional struggle.

My prayers are with you. God bless.

-Marlena

214.5/162.6/150

>

>Reply-To: Atkins_Support_List

>To: " Atkins_Support_List " <Atkins_Support_List >

>Subject: OT/Duncan's Court Date LONG

>Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 14:27:10 -0400

>

>I know you all have been waiting in eager expectation to hear how it went

>this morning in court, and so I won't keep you in suspense. I'll get to

>all the details in just a minute, but just so you know up front,

>refused to sign the papers yet again.

>

>So, now for the details.

>

>We arrived at the courthouse, and arrived several minutes after we

>did. I could tell from her demeanor that she was probably not going to

>sign the papers, but we were still hoping for the best. When we got in

>front of the judge, she wouldn't respond to his questions until he prompted

>her two or three times, and then sometimes not at all. After about 10

>minutes, he said he had to go and start the regular session in his

>courtroom, and to call him if she decided to sign the papers.

>

>We sat there with her for over an hour. Even under direct questioning, she

>wouldn't respond with anything other than a reiteration of every perceived

>injury in her life that someone else has done to her, how everyone always

>has forced her to do things, etc. and so forth.

>

>Finally, I asked her directly if she wanted us to bring Duncan back to her.

> She actually said no. She'd started out earlier by saying that she

>didn't want to ever see him again, and she didn't want anyone else related

>to him to have any contact with him. Doree told her we couldn't promise

>not to let him see the rest of his family, but that if she didn't want to

>see him that was her decision, and we'd try to honor it. We assured her

>that we'd keep the doors open in every way until such time as she did want

>to see him.

>

>She would never come out and say that she did want him back. In fact, as I

>mentioned, she said she didn't want us to give him back. she would never

>come out and answer the question, " Are you going to sign the papers today " .

> She was very non-responsive. She knew that simply by not responding that

>the position of Catholic Human Services is to return the baby. Therefore,

>since she didn't ask for him back, it's not her fault we get hurt by losing

>him, right? Wrong!

>

>At one point I managed to push her to the point where she did get angry

>enough to at least vocalize some of her thoughts. These ranged from

>invective comments about me to other comments about how everyone else is to

>blame for her decisions except herself. The air was fairly blue with the

>language that was being hurled at me. Apparently, it was an opportunity to

>unleash some long-pent up anger in my direction. Which is understandable,

>but nevertheless, very unpleasant.

>

>So, we all left the courtroom, nothing having been accomplished, and us on

>notice that within the next 48 hours or so, we are going to have to return

>Duncan to her in an unsafe and unstable home and family environment.

>Return him to a woman who has just said that she doesn't want him back and

>never wanted to see him again. Needless to say, we have quite a problem

>with this policy of CHS and are hoping to convince Doree to give us some

>more time before Duncan has to be given to her.

>

>Mike's mother, Shirley, said that Mike will be getting off the boat when it

>docks tomorrow and coming home to handle this. Which means he is most

>likely going to lose his job, although Shirley is going to try and convince

>them there is a family emergency he needs to handle. Unfortunately, he

>hasn't worked there long enough for the Family and Medical Leave Act to

>cover him and provide a means for him to return to his job, guaranteed.

>

>Theoretically, if Mike and discuss this, and she does agree to sign

>the papers, Doree can request a special hearing from the judge, or to have

>it reassigned to another judge. We don't know if either she or the judge

>will be amenable to doing that . . . and we certainly don't know what

>is likely to do, if anything.

>

>After leaving the courthouse, Art and Doree and I visited the office of the

>Protective Services worker who handles 's case. What he had to say

>was rather a good news/bad news sort of arrangement. The good news is that

>Doree will make a referral of the case to them and they will investigate it

>and and Mike will most likely have Duncan removed from the home and

>placed back with us. The bad news is that Duncan has to actually go there

>and be subjected to the " care " that provides while they investigate

>the case which could take several months. Not good. I think I've share

>with you guys before the history of having lost 2 children already to

>neglect/child abuse related incidents. It was a " failure to protect "

>situation which she, of course, maintains she was faultless in.

>

>At any rate, you now know as much about this situation as we do. We are

>waiting for lots of things. First of all, for Mike to arrive home and see

>what happens with that. Secondly, for Doree to get her head out of her

>butt and do the right thing to protect this defenseless little baby. And

>thirdly, how long we're going to be allowed to delay this before having to

>return him.

>

>So, as you can imagine, we are in utter turmoil here. Distraught, upset,

>sad, confused, yet confident that the God we serve is faithful to complete

>the good works He has started. If there is anything I desire at all right

>now, it would be for all the wonderful friends we have on this list to pray

>continually for a miracle in Duncan's life, and for God's protection of

>him, no matter what happens.

>

>Thanks in advance for all your support and concern. You will probably

>never know how much we really appreciate it and YOU.

>

>

>Terry

>168/158.25/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined)

>

>Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

{{{{{{{{{Terry/Art/Duncan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} stay strong!! You have all our

thoughts and prayers going out to you............darn darn darn......why

can't things go easier for this little guy??..........it's not over till the

fat lady sings........and I can't carry a tune

Annie

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

Terry,

Duncan and you family will be in my prayers for the best. I am so sorry for you

to have to go through this, and pray that God protect little Duncan from any

harm.

God Bless and pray for a speedy granting of your wishes.

nne

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I am SO sorry you have to go through all of this. Please know you are

all in my prayers!!!

Lori

> I know you all have been waiting in eager expectation to hear how

it went this morning in court, and so I won't keep you in suspense.

I'll get to all the details in just a minute, but just so you know up

front, refused to sign the papers yet again.

>

> So, now for the details.

>

> We arrived at the courthouse, and arrived several minutes

after we did. I could tell from her demeanor that she was probably

not going to sign the papers, but we were still hoping for the best.

When we got in front of the judge, she wouldn't respond to his

questions until he prompted her two or three times, and then

sometimes not at all. After about 10 minutes, he said he had to go

and start the regular session in his courtroom, and to call him if

she decided to sign the papers.

>

> We sat there with her for over an hour. Even under direct

questioning, she wouldn't respond with anything other than a

reiteration of every perceived injury in her life that someone else

has done to her, how everyone always has forced her to do things,

etc. and so forth.

>

> Finally, I asked her directly if she wanted us to bring Duncan back

to her. She actually said no. She'd started out earlier by saying

that she didn't want to ever see him again, and she didn't want

anyone else related to him to have any contact with him. Doree told

her we couldn't promise not to let him see the rest of his family,

but that if she didn't want to see him that was her decision, and

we'd try to honor it. We assured her that we'd keep the doors open

in every way until such time as she did want to see him.

>

> She would never come out and say that she did want him back. In

fact, as I mentioned, she said she didn't want us to give him back.

she would never come out and answer the question, " Are you going to

sign the papers today " . She was very non-responsive. She knew that

simply by not responding that the position of Catholic Human Services

is to return the baby. Therefore, since she didn't ask for him back,

it's not her fault we get hurt by losing him, right? Wrong!

>

> At one point I managed to push her to the point where she did get

angry enough to at least vocalize some of her thoughts. These ranged

from invective comments about me to other comments about how everyone

else is to blame for her decisions except herself. The air was

fairly blue with the language that was being hurled at me.

Apparently, it was an opportunity to unleash some long-pent up anger

in my direction. Which is understandable, but nevertheless, very

unpleasant.

>

> So, we all left the courtroom, nothing having been accomplished,

and us on notice that within the next 48 hours or so, we are going to

have to return Duncan to her in an unsafe and unstable home and

family environment. Return him to a woman who has just said that she

doesn't want him back and never wanted to see him again. Needless to

say, we have quite a problem with this policy of CHS and are hoping

to convince Doree to give us some more time before Duncan has to be

given to her.

>

> Mike's mother, Shirley, said that Mike will be getting off the boat

when it docks tomorrow and coming home to handle this. Which means

he is most likely going to lose his job, although Shirley is going to

try and convince them there is a family emergency he needs to

handle. Unfortunately, he hasn't worked there long enough for the

Family and Medical Leave Act to cover him and provide a means for him

to return to his job, guaranteed.

>

> Theoretically, if Mike and discuss this, and she does agree

to sign the papers, Doree can request a special hearing from the

judge, or to have it reassigned to another judge. We don't know if

either she or the judge will be amenable to doing that . . . and we

certainly don't know what is likely to do, if anything.

>

> After leaving the courthouse, Art and Doree and I visited the

office of the Protective Services worker who handles 's case.

What he had to say was rather a good news/bad news sort of

arrangement. The good news is that Doree will make a referral of the

case to them and they will investigate it and and Mike will

most likely have Duncan removed from the home and placed back with

us. The bad news is that Duncan has to actually go there and be

subjected to the " care " that provides while they investigate

the case which could take several months. Not good. I think I've

share with you guys before the history of having lost 2

children already to neglect/child abuse related incidents. It was

a " failure to protect " situation which she, of course, maintains she

was faultless in.

>

> At any rate, you now know as much about this situation as we do.

We are waiting for lots of things. First of all, for Mike to arrive

home and see what happens with that. Secondly, for Doree to get her

head out of her butt and do the right thing to protect this

defenseless little baby. And thirdly, how long we're going to be

allowed to delay this before having to return him.

>

> So, as you can imagine, we are in utter turmoil here. Distraught,

upset, sad, confused, yet confident that the God we serve is faithful

to complete the good works He has started. If there is anything I

desire at all right now, it would be for all the wonderful friends we

have on this list to pray continually for a miracle in Duncan's life,

and for God's protection of him, no matter what happens.

>

> Thanks in advance for all your support and concern. You will

probably never know how much we really appreciate it and YOU.

>

>

> Terry

> 168/158.25/156 (minigoal)/ ? (To be determined)

>

> Visit my web page at www.dtnorth.com

[Guest guest]

My exact sentiments. With special emphasis on Duncan's safety.

Connie A.

> Terry,

> Duncan and you family will be in my prayers for the best. I am so

sorry for you to have to go through this, and pray that God protect

little Duncan from any harm.

>

> God Bless and pray for a speedy granting of your wishes.

>

> nne

[Guest guest]

My thoughts are with you Terry. We can only hope that Mike can make her see sense.

{{{hugs}}}

Kirstie

[Guest guest]

Terry,

My heart aches for you and poor Duncan. I just makes me sick how

they can do this to a poor child because some woman (not Mother she

shouldn't be called that) can be so selfish to do this to him and to

those who truely love and want and deserve him.

I will pray with all my might that God will intervene before sweet

Duncan has to go back that woman.

Hugs

--

Sue Huls

214/179/175 (mini goal)

3/9/01

Party Consultant

http://www.1800partyconsultant.com/50407/

[Guest guest]

Terry,

She doesn't want Duncan, he belongs with you. She is just doing this

to manipulate people. It's a power thing. She can't control herself,

so she's getting her jollies by controlling this situation.

Eventually, the game will get old. Then things will be as they

should be. We all are praying for you until then.

Sydne

[Guest guest]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Terry, Art, Duncan}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Terry,

My heart goes out to you as do my prayers! I sat in disbelief as i read

your post, and then i re-read it to make sure i read it all correctly. I'm

sorry you had to go thru all you did, how very disheartening. I'm praying

for all three of you; you and Art that God will surely give you peace and

strength as you wait...waiting can be soooo difficult, and i pray for Duncan

that God would protect him from such an environment as the one with his birth

mother and allow him to stay right where he is; with you and Art : )

I truly don't understand the system....to me its all so sad......why take

a baby out of a loving, happy, peaceful, SAFE enviornment and put him into a

home that is obviously not a happy, loving or safe one. Sooo many problems

result in kids growing up in homes that are not fit for a child. My Mom and

Dad adopted my sister, when she was 10 (bless their hearts, she came to us

with MANY problems and still deals with the nightmares of her

childhood)...she recalls in vivid memory her mother leaving her and her

siblings at home alone for days with no food/money....they ate crackers and

drank Tang. Today she has many problems and though Mom and Dad tried their

best to help her and gave her a happy home those memories still haunt her

today....

Sorry to ramble on there....but the system is just not

right/fair/just...whatever the word is...i don't understand their

thinking.... <stepping down off soapbox>

xoxox

{{{{{{hugs and prayers}}}}}}

Sherry

" With this in mind we constantly pray for you...and that by his power he may

fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith " 2

Thessalonians 1:11

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I am so saddened by what I just read and incensed at what the " law "

says about this kind of thing. If you guys are giving Duncan the

best care he can possibly get, why on earth they would return him to

who has a prior history of neglect/abuse is beyond me!!!!

But, in all of this, I love what you wrote about knowing that God

will complete the good work that He has started. You have my

undivided prayers for you and Art and of course for little Duncan.

With all of us praying to a mighty and powerful God, the only

question that comes to mind is " Is there anything to hard for God?! "

The answer is NO and He will work this situation out for your good.

Let faith be your guide as you go through this...continue to talk to

Him and tell Him how you feel. He is the only One who truly knows

and understands.

I am sending much love and happy thoughts your way...I pray for God's

favor over your lives.

(((HUGS)))

Keisha

[Guest guest]

Terry, I will surely keep you and your situation in my prayers. Your message spurned me to come out of 2-week lurkdom on this list. Several years ago, I worked for a temporary agency while waiting to find a job in my field. I worked for six months as an administrative secretary in our local Dept. of Social Services legal department. This department had three lawyers - all of whom spent their days trying to fight for the rights of the children who came from an environment such as the one you mentioned in your email. All the data they would have to remove a child from abusive (in every way you can imagine) households would be ignored by the judges and the "system" that felt that holding a family together no matter what was more important than the safety and welfare of the children. My job was to type all the pre-trial information. I learned more about life in those three months than I had in my 40 some years of living. The day they took me into the filing room measuring approximately 11 x 12 feet and the files on child abuse cases went from ceiling to floor, row upon row, will haunt me forever. Sorry to rattle on, this my first post, but I wanted you to know that I will be praying for you during this time.

Sandy

[Guest guest]

Dear Terry

so sorry to hear how the hearing went i cant beleive that they cannot just terminate her parental rights based upon her stated desire not to keep the child i dont of course know the laws in your state but it seems that if the mother has not filed to have the child returned to her you should be able to keep the child until she does so .. how awful to place a child where it is not wanted and will not be cared for

catherine

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I'm so sorry about how things went today . I guess the positive

thoughts I was thinking about you today didn't make it all the way from

Israel. I'll keep sending them though, and hope that Mike helps

think clearly.

Love,

Vered

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I can't even imagine how hard it

must be. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kristn

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I'm so sorry for what you have to put up with in this situation. I pray God answers you in the affirmative before very long....I admire your faith.

Marty

OT/Duncan's Court Date LONG

I know you all have been waiting in eager expectation to hear how it went this morning in court, and so I won't keep you in suspense. I'll get to all the details in just a minute, but just so you know up front, refused to sign the papers yet again.

[Guest guest]

Terry,

I don't often formally pray, but I will tonight for you and your family. I'm so sorry and I don't really know what to say other than we are thinking about you and we all send our love. If there is anything at all we can do, let us know.

Love,

Becca

[Guest guest]

Thank God, neither can I, not to save my life I swear!

*hugs*

Becca

it's not over till the fat lady sings........and I can't carry a tune :)Annie

[Guest guest]

My daughter offers to do chores to get me to stop singing..lets start a

silent choir.

>

> Thank God, neither can I, not to save my life I swear!

> *hugs*

> Becca

>

> it's not over till the

> fat lady sings........and I can't carry a tune

>

> Annie

>