Guest guest Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 maybe EVERYONE needs a break when the kids get home from school? maybe you could have a snack organized where everyone eats and relaxes and catches up for a few minutes.... and then everyone gets [nicely] pushed outside for a bit to blow off some steam? if the kids are too old for playing, maybe you could couch it as walking the dogs and you want their company? after that, it might be less of a struggle to get homework done? it sounds like the issue is managing the hecticness, and eating was/is one strategy you've used.... maybe this would be another tactic to experiment with? good luck, and keep us posted! abby One of the struggles I have is the afternoon....and I'm hoping you might have some suggestions or thoughts. The morning and midday seem to always be pretty smooth sailing for me, but then I get to the afternoon and it is a real struggle for me to not eat for the wrong reasons. I'm even ok in the evening hours more than that afternoon time. I try to think what is different about the afternoon. I'm tired from a long day, where I've either been working at my part time job, or I've been cleaning my house all day, or balancing checkbooks and things. The kids are generally at school (unless it is summer or something!), so the afternoons become this chaotic, frenzied time, and I can't always cope without feeling that pull towards food (or a glass of wine sometimes which really screws up my IE.) My kids get home from school; there is homework to be done, and I have all boys (16, 12, 10) so they are bottomless pits when it comes to food, so even though they usually feed themselves now, everything seems to be about food/kitchen and if I try & relax or get anything done, I'm constantly needed and interrupted. I can't seem to focus on this one and find a solution (escape???) I love my kids and I'm excited to see them again after they've been at school all day, but it is such a crazy time when they arrive home. It doesn't help I have 3 dogs either! My house is a zoo. If the kids weren't in the picture, I'd probably take a nap or go treat myself to a shopping trip or an afternoon movie, but I love them and I also know things like homework come first, so....help! I would appreciate any thoughts on this one or if anyone else struggles with this period of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2009 Report Share Posted May 2, 2009 Abby, thank you for your ideas! I appreciate it so much. My kids are old enough now that they seem to fend for themselves when they get home, but it doesn't stop the " Mom! Mom! Mom! " which drives me a wee bit crazy. Yes, you are right - the issue is managing the hecticness....so you got me thinking that I need to really re-think that time and change it up somehow completely, even to go so far as putting them in charge for a bit and escaping (fortunately, I have a 16 year old that helps me out!) so that when I get back, they will be more settled in and the time I have with them will be less crazed and more peaceful. Thanks, Abby I'm going to work on this.... maybe EVERYONE needs a break when the kids get home from school? maybe you could have a snack organized where everyone eats and relaxes and catches up for a few minutes.... and then everyone gets [nicely] pushed outside for a bit to blow off some steam? if the kids are too old for playing, maybe you could couch it as walking the dogs and you want their company? after that, it might be less of a struggle to get homework done? it sounds like the issue is managing the hecticness, and eating was/is one strategy you've used.... maybe this would be another tactic to experiment with? good luck, and keep us posted! abby One of the struggles I have is the afternoon....and I'm hoping you might have some suggestions or thoughts. The morning and midday seem to always be pretty smooth sailing for me, but then I get to the afternoon and it is a real struggle for me to not eat for the wrong reasons. I'm even ok in the evening hours more than that afternoon time. I try to think what is different about the afternoon. I'm tired from a long day, where I've either been working at my part time job, or I've been cleaning my house all day, or balancing checkbooks and things. The kids are generally at school (unless it is summer or something!), so the afternoons become this chaotic, frenzied time, and I can't always cope without feeling that pull towards food (or a glass of wine sometimes which really screws up my IE.) My kids get home from school; there is homework to be done, and I have all boys (16, 12, 10) so they are bottomless pits when it comes to food, so even though they usually feed themselves now, everything seems to be about food/kitchen and if I try & relax or get anything done, I'm constantly needed and interrupted. I can't seem to focus on this one and find a solution (escape???) I love my kids and I'm excited to see them again after they've been at school all day, but it is such a crazy time when they arrive home. It doesn't help I have 3 dogs either! My house is a zoo. If the kids weren't in the picture, I'd probably take a nap or go treat myself to a shopping trip or an afternoon movie, but I love them and I also know things like homework come first, so....help! I would appreciate any thoughts on this one or if anyone else struggles with this period of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Ann & Mikki,You gave such insightful responses - things that honestly had never crossed my mind - thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my woes!! You gave me some great ideas. I mean, I NEVER thought about giving myself some scheduled 'me' time before my boys come in the door. I am always trying to cram in the 'have-to's' like dishes, laundry, banking, etc. with every spare minute because I can't think straight when the house gets noisy with the boys. They are pretty self-sufficient at this age, and they do a mediocre (LOL) clean-up - what is most difficult for me are the interruptions, so the idea of having a 'quiet zone' is an excellent suggestion. Mikki, your response made me laugh, esp. the part about giving your mouth something else to do besides yell at the kids - that gave me a chuckle. It made me realize part of the chaos is me when the boys start wrestling in the house (which is an almost daily occurrence)....and how right you are that this is the first part of my day without any true structure, so I like the thought of adding structure to it. So thank you both....now my goals are to create a more sane afternoon with self-care before they get home, more structure after they do get home, and establishing a quiet zone, and then hopefully it will make it easier for me to not reach for food. {{{hug}}} Good luck!! I used to have a terrible time with afternoon 'stuffing', until I went through the process of asking myself the IE questions (are you really hungry, if not what do you really want, etc), and realized that I was stress-eating from the chaos and (occassionally) to give my mouth something else to do besides yell at my kids! Since I've imposed a bit more structure on the afternoon *I* feel MUCH less stressed, and when I do I don't automatically eat, but see what in my environment I can change ... Mikki , in reading your post - I'm struck by how little time you carve out for yourself, before the demands and pressures of being a mom coming forging through your door with 3 excited, and full engery guys - how about making a committment to try, at least 2 times a week - devoting one hour before the kids come home self care for You. Time for you is there, you just gotta claim it - cause you deserve it Ann __._,_.__ Recent Activity 16 New Members Visit Your Group Give Back Yahoo! for Good Get inspired by a good cause. Y! Toolbar Get it Free! easy 1-clik access to your groups. Yahoo! Groups Start a group in 3 easy steps. Connect with others. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 Wow, you make it sound so nice that I want to do it too LOL. I work 7-2:30 and I am ALWAYS rushing - rushing to get to work, rushing to get 8 hours of work crammed into 7.5 hours of office time, rushing home before the bus gets there ...then I'm so tired that at least once a week I just collapse on the couch and read a book for a while I let the kids play computer games (but I feel guilty about it so I'm not sure it counts!). I'm still working on time to actually *pamper* myself ...seems the best I can do is slow down a bit every so often... Mikki ps- I've also re-discovered the Flylady (www.flylady.com), where she describes how to have a 'control journal', the 2 things I've taken away from it is a (not overwhelming) daily to-do list so I don't forget stuff when I'm crazy busy, and work in 15 minute intervals with breaks in-between... I'm just getting started but it is helping! Ann & Mikki,You gave such insightful responses - things that honestly had never crossed my mind - thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my woes!! You gave me some great ideas. I mean, I NEVER thought about giving myself some scheduled 'me' time before my boys come in the door. I am always trying to cram in the 'have-to's' like dishes, laundry, banking, etc. with every spare minute because I can't think straight when the house gets noisy with the boys. They are pretty self-sufficient at this age, and they do a mediocre (LOL) clean-up - what is most difficult for me are the interruptions, so the idea of having a 'quiet zone' is an excellent suggestion. Mikki, your response made me laugh, esp. the part about giving your mouth something else to do besides yell at the kids - that gave me a chuckle. It made me realize part of the chaos is me when the boys start wrestling in the house (which is an almost daily occurrence)....and how right you are that this is the first part of my day without any true structure, so I like the thought of adding structure to it. So thank you both....now my goals are to create a more sane afternoon with self-care before they get home, more structure after they do get home, and establishing a quiet zone, and then hopefully it will make it easier for me to not reach for food. {{{hug}}} Good luck!! I used to have a terrible time with afternoon 'stuffing', until I went through the process of asking myself the IE questions (are you really hungry, if not what do you really want, etc), and realized that I was stress-eating from the chaos and (occassionally) to give my mouth something else to do besides yell at my kids! Since I've imposed a bit more structure on the afternoon *I* feel MUCH less stressed, and when I do I don't automatically eat, but see what in my environment I can change ... Mikki , in reading your post - I'm struck by how little time you carve out for yourself, before the demands and pressures of being a mom coming forging through your door with 3 excited, and full engery guys - how about making a committment to try, at least 2 times a week - devoting one hour before the kids come home self care for You. Time for you is there, you just gotta claim it - cause you deserve it Ann __._,_.__ Recent Activity 16 New Members Visit Your Group Give Back Yahoo! for Good Get inspired by a good cause. Y! Toolbar Get it Free! easy 1-clik access to your groups. Yahoo! Groups Start a group in 3 easy steps. Connect with others. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2009 Report Share Posted May 4, 2009 thanks lauren for your reply - being mindful of consistent selft care is my #1 hurdle and I absoulutely know that when I feed my emotional needs the call of the chip is less powerful - In way of introduction to all of you, the concept of IE is new to me, and I love it. Too often, my environment, especially at work where all too often there is a feeding frezy at the lunch table - it's been so hard to say "no thanks" to the junk food - I sometimes feel like I need to fib a little and say something like I just ate and I'm stuffed - cause being stuffed is a good enough excuse for not stuffing yourself - one day when I say no to a cookie - the response was "OMG, you can eat one, it's only 150 calories" to which I replied, "would you tell an alcoholic it's ok to have one beer- in truth, I really was not hungry but I felt like I needed to justify saying no - it was tough, but I went for a walk and nourished myself with sunshine and the songs of birds enjoying the beauty of spring - anyway - I think it's great to have a community of like-minded souls intend on enjoying food intutively - best of of us to all - Ann , in reading your post - I'm struck by how little time you carve out for yourself, before the demands and pressures of being a mom coming forging through your door with 3 excited, and full engery guys - how about making a committment to try, at least 2 times a week - devoting one hour before the kids come home self care for You. Time for you is there, you just gotta claim it - cause you deserve it Ann __._,_.__ Recent Activity 16 New MembersVisit Your Group Give Back Yahoo! for Good Get inspired by a good cause. Y! Toolbar Get it Free! easy 1-clik access to your groups. Yahoo! Groups Start a group in 3 easy steps. Connect with others. .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.