How to deal with the weight gain without giving up, and some other ramblings.

[Guest guest]

How do I get past the fact that I may (and probably will) gain a bit of weight

when initially starting IE? The fear of gaining is making it really hard for me

to listen to my body's signals. Either I feel guilty for eating when I'm

hungry, or feel so bad for eating what I wanted that I punish myself by eating

more. Regardless, I eat a lot more in the day than my body needs and I know

that is going to have an effect on my weight.

I dread getting dressed in the morning, and though I am pretty sure my clothes

are fitting the same way they did a week ago, I see myself growing in the mirror

every day. My fiance said it's just what I see, that he doesn't notice a

difference at all, and I know I have a distorted image of myself. But really

it's the mirror that is making IE harder than it already is, and I don't know

how to get past that.

I'm honestly embarrassed to be seen by my family. I'm so afraid that they will

notice a weight gain and look down upon me. Although when I was at my worst my

mom said I was scary to look at because all she saw were bones, she makes hints

(or I misinterpret what she says, which is very likely as well) about my weight

being too high now.

I don't know who I'm trying to please anymore. I want to be happy so I want to

practice IE, but I want the rest of the world to be happier so I feel as though

I need to diet. I'm so torn.

[Guest guest]

Part of IE work is working on eating that is emotional driven. Another part is

body image which this sounds a lot like to me. Your comment about your mom

saying she was 'all bones' made me wonder if you are overly concerned with

'weight' issues rather than overeating concerns? This sounds like where I would

figure you could best focus your internal search for cause and effect for non

body hunger eating. I know I have been getting a lot of good input from When

Women Stop Hating Their Bodies. Have you tried any mirror work to make friends

with and love your body as it is NOW? Its amazing what a little 'quiet time'

with yourself can reveal.

BEST to you - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> How do I get past the fact that I may (and probably will) gain a bit of weight

when initially starting IE? The fear of gaining is making it really hard for me

to listen to my body's signals. Either I feel guilty for eating when I'm

hungry, or feel so bad for eating what I wanted that I punish myself by eating

more. Regardless, I eat a lot more in the day than my body needs and I know

that is going to have an effect on my weight.

>

> I dread getting dressed in the morning, and though I am pretty sure my clothes

are fitting the same way they did a week ago, I see myself growing in the mirror

every day. My fiance said it's just what I see, that he doesn't notice a

difference at all, and I know I have a distorted image of myself. But really

it's the mirror that is making IE harder than it already is, and I don't know

how to get past that.

>

> I'm honestly embarrassed to be seen by my family. I'm so afraid that they

will notice a weight gain and look down upon me. Although when I was at my

worst my mom said I was scary to look at because all she saw were bones, she

makes hints (or I misinterpret what she says, which is very likely as well)

about my weight being too high now.

>

> I don't know who I'm trying to please anymore. I want to be happy so I want

to practice IE, but I want the rest of the world to be happier so I feel as

though I need to diet. I'm so torn.

>

[Guest guest]

You know, I honestly don't feel bad about eating " for the wrong reasons " such as

stress and boredom. Meaning, afterward I don't feel bad that I just drowned all

of my sorrows in a box of chocolates because I should have done something better

to deal with whatever emotional issue I was trying to numb. I feel bad for

eating for those reasons because I am scared to death to gain weight, yet I have

been steadily gaining for some time now. I know I use food for punishment, and

especially when I look in the mirror it drives me to go eat in a way where I

tell myself " go eat and get fatter. " I used to be so thin (too thin) and could

control anything I ate (in a bad way really) and even though I know it was very

self destructive and unhealthy, I feel like a failure for ever letting myself

steer away from that direction. So there again, I start using food as

punishment for not being able to be so controlling anymore.

How do I do mirror work? Typically when I look in the mirror I want to cry

because I hate my body so much. Even when a size extra small was big on me I

cried at how " fat " I was, so seeing my body how it is is very hard to take. I

have a horrible relationship with food though and I know that body image does

have a lot to do with it, and if only I could accept myself I am pretty sure I

could accept food a little better as well. I just don't know how to go about

doing so.

> >

> > How do I get past the fact that I may (and probably will) gain a bit of

weight when initially starting IE? The fear of gaining is making it really hard

for me to listen to my body's signals. Either I feel guilty for eating when I'm

hungry, or feel so bad for eating what I wanted that I punish myself by eating

more. Regardless, I eat a lot more in the day than my body needs and I know

that is going to have an effect on my weight.

> >

> > I dread getting dressed in the morning, and though I am pretty sure my

clothes are fitting the same way they did a week ago, I see myself growing in

the mirror every day. My fiance said it's just what I see, that he doesn't

notice a difference at all, and I know I have a distorted image of myself. But

really it's the mirror that is making IE harder than it already is, and I don't

know how to get past that.

> >

> > I'm honestly embarrassed to be seen by my family. I'm so afraid that they

will notice a weight gain and look down upon me. Although when I was at my

worst my mom said I was scary to look at because all she saw were bones, she

makes hints (or I misinterpret what she says, which is very likely as well)

about my weight being too high now.

> >

> > I don't know who I'm trying to please anymore. I want to be happy so I want

to practice IE, but I want the rest of the world to be happier so I feel as

though I need to diet. I'm so torn.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

> How do I do mirror work? Typically when I look in the mirror I want to cry

MIrror Work? Man I never look in the mirror!

I remember for months maybe years thinking to myself that clothing stores were

doing their clients a dis - favor by having such horrid mirrors in their shops.

Then one day by accident I looked into a window as I was walking by and realized

IT WAS ME - and I was not a size 10-12 ANYMORE and from that point on I have

avoided mirrors forever and ever!

Please dont tell me this intuitive eating involves visiting my image in a

mirror!!!!! ??????? YIPES I am not sure I want to read those books after-all

if thats the case.

Judy

[Guest guest]

I think what she means is the process of telling yourself positive affirmations while looking in the mirror - finding even one thing that you can praise about yourself (great smile, kind eyes, etc) ... but it's not anything you " have " to do in IE - just a practice that some people find helpful..

 

If even the thought of doing that makes you want to run away screaming, I'd say it's not for you at this time LOL.  Personally I'm not big into affirmations using things that I just don't believe - I have to sneak up on positive thoughts by finding something nice about myself that I can buy into!!

Mikki

 

>> > How do I do mirror work? Typically when I look in the mirror I want to cry MIrror Work? Man I never look in the mirror! I remember for months maybe years thinking to myself that clothing stores were doing their clients a dis - favor by having such horrid mirrors in their shops. Then one day by accident I looked into a window as I was walking by and realized IT WAS ME - and I was not a size 10-12 ANYMORE and from that point on I have avoided mirrors forever and ever!

Please dont tell me this intuitive eating involves visiting my image in a mirror!!!!! ??????? YIPES I am not sure I want to read those books after-all if thats the case.Judy

[Guest guest]

In When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies they recommend mirror work. Basically they say to look in the mirror and say positive things out loud about your body. As soon as you even have a negative thought they say to stop. The theory is that eventually you will be able to tell yourself more and more positive things. There must be something you find positive about your appearance? Your eye colour? hair? complexion? We all have to start somewhere and it really does make a person feel better about themselves. The trick is to say it outloud though...it has a much bigger impact.

I used to cringe when I looked in the mirror but I find the mirror work was really helpful. I did it quite consistently for awhile a few months back. Must start doing it again...

Subject: Re: How to deal with the weight gain without giving up, and some other ramblings.To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Monday, March 23, 2009, 9:49 AM

>> > How do I do mirror work? Typically when I look in the mirror I want to cry MIrror Work? Man I never look in the mirror! I remember for months maybe years thinking to myself that clothing stores were doing their clients a dis - favor by having such horrid mirrors in their shops. Then one day by accident I looked into a window as I was walking by and realized IT WAS ME - and I was not a size 10-12 ANYMORE and from that point on I have avoided mirrors forever and ever! Please dont tell me this intuitive eating involves visiting my image in a mirror!!!!! ??????? YIPES I am not sure I want to read those books after-all if thats the case.Judy

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[Guest guest]

Believe me - mirrors and I have a 'love - hate' relationship too! But at some

point making peace with your body is as good an idea as making peace with food

too. The beauty of IE is that it doesn't require a set of rules or to follow

these in any particular order. I would say that if you just work at legalizing

food(s) and mindful eating at first, then you may find yourself being able to

face other, more difficult 'steps' such as emotional eating and yes - YIKES! -

mirror work later on too. IE is like a feast - you can't goggle it ALL in ONE

bite. Its much more enjoyable if you nibble this and that as you are hungry for

it ;-)

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> >

>

> >

> > How do I do mirror work? Typically when I look in the mirror I want to cry

>

>

> MIrror Work? Man I never look in the mirror!

>

> I remember for months maybe years thinking to myself that clothing stores were

doing their clients a dis - favor by having such horrid mirrors in their shops.

Then one day by accident I looked into a window as I was walking by and realized

IT WAS ME - and I was not a size 10-12 ANYMORE and from that point on I have

avoided mirrors forever and ever!

>

> Please dont tell me this intuitive eating involves visiting my image in a

mirror!!!!! ??????? YIPES I am not sure I want to read those books after-all

if thats the case.

>

>

>

> Judy

>