Re: Picture of normal/bearutifl woman in Glamour

[Guest guest]

Loved it, Alana! thanks so much for sharing this with us!

This helped me. I have been going through a body bashing phase and just hate

myself for it! Gosh, all this negativity - no wonder I'm in this predicament!

Ironically, I opened up the following email after your post from " zen habits " (I

love this guy and his posts!) - I thought was some helpful advice - the article

is entitled " Virus protection for the mind. "

http://zenhabits.net/

Deb

>

>

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documen\

tid=21301585 & GT1=32001

>

> Check out this article about a picture of a woman in Glamour that has sparked

some discussion.

>

> Unfortunately, I asked the guys I work with (now most of these guys I work

with are complete idiots/jerks) what they thought of this woman without giving

them any idea why I was asking. The first thing they noticed and made snide

comments on were her " flabby belly " . They said that she is a woman they would

have to get to know first before being interested in her. One said " she has a

cute face " .

> Unfortunately, this is a society that focuses on looks first and foremost.

But maybe this article/picture is one of the first for things to start changing

this view/attitude.

>

> I happen to think she is an exteremely beautiful woman and it is really nice

to see such a normal body image - one that isn't touched up.

>

> Alana

>

[Guest guest]

Heck this gal looks 'trim' to me. So there is a little more skin in her

abdominal area - that's LIFE! How double sad that we all have been misdirected

into thinking of this as 'fat'. And I think unhealthy too, not only due to

unrealistic expectations of each other, but also body wise - nature intended for

us to be able to have reserves, not to be constantly on the verge of starvation.

She does look happy/comfortable in her own skin :) GOOD for her and yay for

us too

Katcha

>

>

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documen\

tid=21301585 & GT1=32001

>

> Check out this article about a picture of a woman in Glamour that has sparked

some discussion.

>

> Unfortunately, I asked the guys I work with (now most of these guys I work

with are complete idiots/jerks) what they thought of this woman without giving

them any idea why I was asking. The first thing they noticed and made snide

comments on were her " flabby belly " . They said that she is a woman they would

have to get to know first before being interested in her. One said " she has a

cute face " .

> Unfortunately, this is a society that focuses on looks first and foremost.

But maybe this article/picture is one of the first for things to start changing

this view/attitude.

>

> I happen to think she is an exteremely beautiful woman and it is really nice

to see such a normal body image - one that isn't touched up.

>

> Alana

>

[Guest guest]

I sure don't have expect for this picture. She is certain beautiful and

positive example. I have seen some of other women around here like that and I

can tell some of them feel proud of how they looks.

Thanks for show us this picture.

Eliza

>

>

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documen\

tid=21301585 & GT1=32001

>

> Check out this article about a picture of a woman in Glamour that has sparked

some discussion.

>

> Unfortunately, I asked the guys I work with (now most of these guys I work

with are complete idiots/jerks) what they thought of this woman without giving

them any idea why I was asking. The first thing they noticed and made snide

comments on were her " flabby belly " . They said that she is a woman they would

have to get to know first before being interested in her. One said " she has a

cute face " .

> Unfortunately, this is a society that focuses on looks first and foremost.

But maybe this article/picture is one of the first for things to start changing

this view/attitude.

>

> I happen to think she is an exteremely beautiful woman and it is really nice

to see such a normal body image - one that isn't touched up.

>

> Alana

>

[Guest guest]

I tend to give guys some benefit of the doubt here. In my experience, guys are

actually really attracted to women who look like this woman in real life. They,

like we, are just not used to seeing a real-looking woman in a magazine like

Glamour. I think they judge her differently than they would a real-life woman.

I think a lot of our society's obsession with thin, is also our society's

obsession with youth. I also think that that is what a lot of guys find

attractive in ultra thinness. Think of a young girl just budding into sexual

maturity. The picture that comes to my mind is a waif-thin (did I spell that

right?) girl with just slight curves. Girls at that age are hyperfertile.

Naturally, that's attractive to men.

More and more, I'm getting away from black and white thinking. I can see the

beauty in that natural, young thinness, and I can feel happy for her as she just

begins her journey into womanhood, without feeling jealous. I had my

adolescence, once was enough thank you. More and more, I can appreciate that

there are many, many ways to be beautiful. (And many, many ways for men to be

handsome.) I can respect that men are attracted to that hyper-fertile, youthful

thinness, while also appreciating that my curvy, full, womanly figure is also

attractive. I don't have to compete against young girls. We operate in

different territory. I don't have to compete against models or Angelina Jolie,

either. Let's be real, here.

My whole life, no matter what I weighed, I've always had my boyfriends/my

husband point out my flaws. My mom has always been, and still is that way. I'm

not blaming anything on her. That's how society is, and she has very much been

a victim of this herself. So between society and Mom, I ended up being

extremely critical and focused on every perceived flaw. Because of that, I

invited that sort of criticism from guys, etc. Whatever you think of yourself,

you tend to invite those around you to also think that of you. That's why I

think confidence is so attractive. If you think you're awesome, those around

you tend to see your awesomeness. If you're insecure and focused in on all you

think is wrong with you, it's like a neon sign labeled, " flawed. "

I recently wrote about my husband and I having sex troubles since I gained

weight. Shortly after our last conversation about sex, the issue just sort of

resolved itself. We're actually really having a great time in that arena now.

I really think that has a lot to do with my newfound confidence. I alway made

it clear that I like myself the way I am, and that I felt sexy and hot, no

matter what he thought. I actually felt more secure after our conversation,

because I realized that how I looked at me was completely up to me. I realized

that I was finally free of caring what anyone else thought, including my

husband. I think that really ended up turning him on.

End point, we don't have to look like anyboy else to be beautiful, sexy women.

We just have to love what we see in the mirror. I can turn my husband (who has

always been weight obsessed) on just as much at 210 pounds as I did at 140

pounds. All I had to do was love myself.

Sara

>

>

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documen\

tid=21301585 & GT1=32001

>

> Check out this article about a picture of a woman in Glamour that has sparked

some discussion.

>

> Unfortunately, I asked the guys I work with (now most of these guys I work

with are complete idiots/jerks) what they thought of this woman without giving

them any idea why I was asking. The first thing they noticed and made snide

comments on were her " flabby belly " . They said that she is a woman they would

have to get to know first before being interested in her. One said " she has a

cute face " .

> Unfortunately, this is a society that focuses on looks first and foremost.

But maybe this article/picture is one of the first for things to start changing

this view/attitude.

>

> I happen to think she is an exteremely beautiful woman and it is really nice

to see such a normal body image - one that isn't touched up.

>

> Alana

>

[Guest guest]

You are right Sara. Whenever I told some of my guys friend that I want to lose

weights but not all of it. Just at least enough to keep my health under control.

They said hey, don't lose all of it and they actually prefer women with some

extra weights yet still in good health conditions. They even told me that they

don't like those who are way too thin because they always picky on what they eat

or can't eat at all make them feel low.

I told them it's for my health sake.

Eliza

> >

> >

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articleglamour.aspx?cp-documen\

tid=21301585 & GT1=32001

> >

> > Check out this article about a picture of a woman in Glamour that has

sparked some discussion.

> >

> > Unfortunately, I asked the guys I work with (now most of these guys I work

with are complete idiots/jerks) what they thought of this woman without giving

them any idea why I was asking. The first thing they noticed and made snide

comments on were her " flabby belly " . They said that she is a woman they would

have to get to know first before being interested in her. One said " she has a

cute face " .

> > Unfortunately, this is a society that focuses on looks first and foremost.

But maybe this article/picture is one of the first for things to start changing

this view/attitude.

> >

> > I happen to think she is an exteremely beautiful woman and it is really nice

to see such a normal body image - one that isn't touched up.

> >

> > Alana

> >

>

[Guest guest]

" Whatever you think of yourself, you tend to invite those around you to also

think that of you. That's why I think confidence is so attractive. If you

think you're awesome, those around you tend to see your awesomeness. If you're

insecure and focused in on all you think is wrong with you, it's like a neon

sign labeled, 'flawed.' "

Sara, that is such a wonderful quote! It's so true! It's really hard to love

yourself and treat yourself with respect, but how can we demand it from others

if we can't give it to ourselves??? Thanks for the perspective!