Guest guest Posted August 22, 2009 Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 I would definitely go with the " allow " thing. I think your body will work it out if you give it full permission and access to food. My time was always late at night after I put the kids to bed. I would try to only eat if hungry, but then I would just rebel against that and overeat. Then, when I gave up all food control, and gave myself complete permission to eat anytime I wanted to, the desire to eat late (if I wasn't hungry) left me pretty quickly. A lot of times now, I just eat less earlier in the evening, because I know I'll enjoy it more later on. Plus, I think my body is making sure I have enough fuel to last me all night. But, again, I never let myself feel deprived. On the much rarer occasion, I still eat when not really hungry late at night. And I always fully enjoy it. I never feel overful for it now, either. Peace, Sara > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a " transition " time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements " shoulds " regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need " permission " to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2009 Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 Hi Sara,When you say"I would try to only eat if hungry..."was there any diet mentality do you think? I'm wondering b/c I can do that too and if yes, it's encouraging that it can get better if I just let it go (diet mentality) and give myself permission to eat regardless if I'm hungry.To: IntuitiveEating_Support From: saralouwho@...Date: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:25:42 +0000Subject: Re: Jekkyl / Hyde I would definitely go with the "allow" thing. I think your body will work it out if you give it full permission and access to food. My time was always late at night after I put the kids to bed. I would try to only eat if hungry, but then I would just rebel against that and overeat. Then, when I gave up all food control, and gave myself complete permission to eat anytime I wanted to, the desire to eat late (if I wasn't hungry) left me pretty quickly. A lot of times now, I just eat less earlier in the evening, because I know I'll enjoy it more later on. Plus, I think my body is making sure I have enough fuel to last me all night. But, again, I never let myself feel deprived. On the much rarer occasion, I still eat when not really hungry late at night. And I always fully enjoy it. I never feel overful for it now, either. Peace, Sara > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a "transition" time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements "shoulds" regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need "permission" to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to "out of control" perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > Deb > Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. Find out more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2009 Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 I didn't look at it as diet mentality at the time, but now I do. Now, I put it to the " weight " test. If I completely took weight out of the equation, if I completely convinced myself that what I ate had nothing to do with my weight, or if I was completely okay with whatever weight I weighed, what would I do? In other words, if I wanted to eat at midnight, and weight never factored in, I would eat at midnight no matter if I was physically hungry (stomach growling, etc.) or not, right? The only factor keeping me from eating at that moment was my problems with my body. If you take that out of the equation, and you still don't want to go ahead and eat (you're afrad of indigestion, you won't be able to sleep well, you'll feel overful, etc.) then it's not diet mentality. The way I look at it, naturally thin people, who eat out of intuition pay no thought to weight when then eat. They just eat. If they want to eat when not hungry, they eat. If not, they don't, but weight doesn't come into the equation. They don't rate their hunger or make a distinction between mouth hunger and stomach hunger. (I'm absolutely not downing these techniques. I think they can definitely help many people. They just didn't work for me.) They just follow their desires. To me, if fear of weight enters my mind, I've entered into a dieter's mindset. This really, really works for me. Of course, I cannot say that anything I do will work for another. But I can tell you that when I take thoughts of weight COMPLETELY out of the equation, intuition comes quite naturally. I feel really good when I occasioally eat without being hungry. I honestly feel that my mouth hunger is a form of body hunger, since I don't feel heavy or overfull after. Hunger signals vary widely. Just because they're only coming from my mouth doesn't mean they're not real. I only came upon these realization after I completely gave up all hope of controlling my weight. I gave up. I truly reached a point where I didn't care what I weighed, I was gonna commit to complete satisfaction with food at all times. Only then, did I really make gains with IE. And, hey, I have many gains and setbacks to go, I'm sure. And I cannot say whether this is anyone else's best path. But I can say it has worked well for me. Peace, Sara > > > > > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > > > > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > > > > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a " transition " time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements " shoulds " regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > > > > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > > > > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need " permission " to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > > > > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > > > > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > > > > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > > > > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > > > > > Deb > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. > http://windowslive.com/Campaign/SocialNetworking?ocid=PID23285::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:\ en-US:SI_SB_online:082009 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2009 Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 , I forgot to say that, yes, it did get a lot better after I waved the white flag, and gave myself complete permission. Sara > > > > > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > > > > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > > > > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a " transition " time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements " shoulds " regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > > > > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > > > > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need " permission " to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > > > > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > > > > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > > > > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > > > > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > > > > > Deb > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. > http://windowslive.com/Campaign/SocialNetworking?ocid=PID23285::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:\ en-US:SI_SB_online:082009 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Wow Sara. Your posts have been helping me SO much lately. I just read another one that you wrote in the topic about the picture of that lady, and I was blown away! You are so inspiring and helpful. Thank you so much. I love reading about your experiences and thoughts. Anyway, I have the same problem with eating at night. Part of me thinks it's leftover anxiety from my dieting days where I tried really hard NOT to eat at night. Now that I'm allowed, it's almost like I have to prove it to myself. Or that I feel as if I have to do it just because I can. Then comes the guilt and worries about gaining weight which has been leading to some overeating bc then I feel compelled to NOT let those feelings stop me from eating. I would like to try what Sara suggested about completely disassociating food from weight. Her reply to this post made a lot of sense to me. You have got to think like an intuitive eater to truely become an intuitive eater. > > > > > > > > > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > > > > > > > > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > > > > > > > > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a " transition " time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements " shoulds " regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > > > > > > > > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > > > > > > > > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need " permission " to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > > > > > > > > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > > > > > > > > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > > > > > > > > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > > > > > > > > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > > > > > > > > > Deb > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. > > http://windowslive.com/Campaign/SocialNetworking?ocid=PID23285::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:\ en-US:SI_SB_online:082009 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Hey Deb, I and others have posted about this same subject in the past. It's interesting to witness how your path of IE self-discovery is mirroring the process that I and others have gone through. I honored my hunger and fullness beautifully during the day and I felt like I was getting hijacked at night when I got to the same realization. It does get better! True awareness of the compulsion to eat when not hungry in the evenings is the first step. When I arrive home from work, I tend to be a bit ungrounded/confused and need to transition myself out of the work body-mind state into a restful home body-mind state. I was using food to transition myself since I typically always used eating as a response to most of my unconscious needs. I believe now that when I have an unconscious need, my body goes to its default pattern to resolve the need and my default pattern has been using food. I also realize that there's something almost unsettling about the open space of the evening hours. When I work during the day, my time is schedule/structured. However, the evening is a different animal. I could structure my time and I know that I don't want to do that. I want to enjoy the flexibility to do whatever in the evening. As a result, I have to deal with the anxiety that comes up for me with the unknown. At times, I was escaping the unknown or the present moment by using food at night. I've experimented with all kinds of things. Setting an intention to relax and consciously move out of the work related sort of frenzy state right before I leave work or setting an intention in the car about what I want my evening to be and look like. I also bought a set of mini-puzzles anywhere between 50-100 pieces. I use completing the puzzle as a meditation to help me get settle when I get home. I've also found just lying on the floor and letting the thoughts from the day fall out of my head to be helpful. For me, my Jekkyl/Hyde pattern was a wake up call to the need to relax and get back to my center at night. I also started to do more around maintaining my center during the day because it's easy to get caught up. It makes some sense to me that if I go through my day more mindful, my night will be more mindful too. Latoya:) > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 I'm so happy that's helpful. Reading and posting here is the biggest therapy to me. It helps me not to drift away or forget the realizations I make along the way. You guys help me immeasurably!!! Peace, Sara > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I seem to be getting a good grip on honoring my hunger and stopping when full and especially and most importantly - savoring and really enjoying my food! - DURING THE DAYTIME! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But at night, right after work, I get home and turn into Mr. Hyde!!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that this behavior is engrained in me because I can remember as a teenager (I am now 45) coming home from school and raiding the fridge. I also know that this time of day is a " transition " time of day for me. I'm also learning that there are certain judgements " shoulds " regarding family obligations I put on myself at this time that I am currently addressing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I guess the most important thing to ask myself - Am I truly hungry? Am I ravenously hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to just chill out? And why do I not have this behavior on weekends? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > When I do turn into Mr. Hyde, I overeat and then fall asleep. So, what is it that I seem to be doing? Am I really tired and need " permission " to fall asleep and use food as the excuse? Why cant I just take a cat nap? Am I avoiding boredom? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My dietician has said that she thinks I eat too little during the day and then set myself up later for eating more. I do usually eat a substantial snack around 4:00 so when I leave work, I cannot say that I'm physically hungry. During the day I eat until I'm full and satisfied. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Deb > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > Windows Live: Keep your friends up to date with what you do online. > > > http://windowslive.com/Campaign/SocialNetworking?ocid=PID23285::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:\ en-US:SI_SB_online:082009 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 WOW!!!! BINGO!!!! DING DING DING DING DING!!!! The bells are going off in my head thank you, thank you, thank you Latoya!!! You have just explained me to a " T. " Ditto, ditto, ditto. One thing that just popped into my head while reading your post was this: I used to get panick attacks at night in my late teens (I was pregnant and married at 16). I hated the nighttime with a passion. I never understood what was happening to me, I really thought I was going insane! So I imagine there are some deeply rooted unconscious issues with me that are slowly coming to the surface. Thanks for the help and your feedback! Deb > > I wonder if I just ALLOW myself to eat a larger amount without instantly equating the behavior to " out of control " perhaps I might not need to eat so much??? > > > > I appreciate being able to post stuff like this to you guys. > > > > Hope you have a good weekend! > > > > Deb > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Sara, I really enjoy reading your posts. Your discussion (in a separate post) about taking " weight " out of the picture is extremely helpful and I had an awesome day with food because of it! Deb > > I would definitely go with the " allow " thing. I think your body will work it out if you give it full permission and access to food. > > My time was always late at night after I put the kids to bed. I would try to only eat if hungry, but then I would just rebel against that and overeat. Then, when I gave up all food control, and gave myself complete permission to eat anytime I wanted to, the desire to eat late (if I wasn't hungry) left me pretty quickly. A lot of times now, I just eat less earlier in the evening, because I know I'll enjoy it more later on. Plus, I think my body is making sure I have enough fuel to last me all night. But, again, I never let myself feel deprived. On the much rarer occasion, I still eat when not really hungry late at night. And I always fully enjoy it. I never feel overful for it now, either. > > Peace, > Sara > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 24, 2009 Report Share Posted August 24, 2009 Awesome!! I love good food days. Sara > > > > I would definitely go with the " allow " thing. I think your body will work it out if you give it full permission and access to food. > > > > My time was always late at night after I put the kids to bed. I would try to only eat if hungry, but then I would just rebel against that and overeat. Then, when I gave up all food control, and gave myself complete permission to eat anytime I wanted to, the desire to eat late (if I wasn't hungry) left me pretty quickly. A lot of times now, I just eat less earlier in the evening, because I know I'll enjoy it more later on. Plus, I think my body is making sure I have enough fuel to last me all night. But, again, I never let myself feel deprived. On the much rarer occasion, I still eat when not really hungry late at night. And I always fully enjoy it. I never feel overful for it now, either. > > > > Peace, > > Sara > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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