Guest guest Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Hi All – I’ve been eating intuitively for about 6 weeks and it’s going well. I have legalized a lot of foods pretty easily but I’m having a hard time giving myself as much time as it takes. I am really miserable at this weight, just physically uncomfortable all the time. I’m working on not feeling ashamed or ugly, and that is going well too. But I just hate the thought of the scale going up for an unspecified period of time before it eventually, hopefully, starts going down. And when I say “the scale” that doesn’t mean I am actually getting ON the scale. Just an expression. I have one particular food which is ice cream eaten in a particular way, and I have legalized it, but I’m mentally tapping my foot and looking at my watch and asking myself “are you done eating this yet?” and “how many THOUSANDS more calories of this food are we going to have to live with before you get this figured out?” Of course with that kind of pressure the answer is no, I am not done eating this. Yet, I am eating it when I don’t want it and I hate that. Usually my solution is to buy more of it, but right now I’m so tired of eating it when I don’t want it, that I’m all confused. I’m out of it at the moment and I’m thinking, for crying out loud, I don’t even want it? Why should I buy more? My tentative plan is to not buy more of it, and see if my mind clears about it a little bit. If I really want it I can go get some more. I also think that when a food does this to me – when I want it but I’m nto satisfied by it and I go a little nuts with how it feels in my mouth even though it doesn’t satisfy – that food is acting like a drug or something. Not like food, which should have a beginning middle and end to it including satisfaction. When a food gets kind of bewitching to me, then maybe I just need to leave it alone. This feels close to what I used to do, which is eat it like crazy because it was there and would be gone soon, knowing it would not be back for a long time. And I would tell myself that I couldn’t’ have it ever again because I ate it so crazily. I would often throw it away if I got to the point where I didn’t’ want to wait until it was all gone to be done eating it. I just feel like a robot without any say in what I want. Any thoughts? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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