Re: High Maintenance Baby

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/28/99 8:38:46 PM Central Daylight Time,

MamaToLexi@... writes:

<< And THAT also made me feel absolutely AWFUL thinking, I HAD to get AWAY

from

my BABY, or I would have hurt her..... >>

You shouldn't let that make you feel bad you shoudl think I am such a good

mother that I am going to go calm myself down insteed of slamming her into

the wall because I love her and I need a moment to myself. I am sure it would

be HARD not to wanna toss them out the window.

Amy

[Guest guest]

LOL about the garbage! We have kept our garbage containers on the kitchen

counter on and off for the past i don't know how many years! Just got tired

of cleaning garbage off the floor and, more importantly, digging out remotes,

game pieces, sippy cups, etc out of the garbage! Joan

[Guest guest]

> still times when my frustration gets the best of me, like today, she had to

> have a timeout, and I needed to have a few mintues for a break, because I was

> TIRED of trying to fight her to stay OUT of the garbage can....

> She seemed to be testing EACH AND EVERY ONE of her limits today, and by 7pm,

> after telling her for the Gazillionth time, if not MORE than that......to NOT

> dig things out of the trash, she did it ONCE MORE, and I had had it, and knew

> I was reaching my breaking point, so I had to take a few minutes

My husband does this too, and I just don't get it. If it bothers you,

and not your child, then it is you who needs to make an adjustment.

My solution is to just remove those things that cause me problems.

Sometimes my trashcan spends the day outside, in " time out " if you will,

but not my child.

If Lexi is trying to get your attention, and getting you to notice that

she has been in the trash again is the way she is getting it, make every

effort possible for her to get the good attention you need, by removing

the things that draw the bad attention. Eventually, she will understand

on her own why the trashcan is yucky, but at 18 months, it's just

another item to explore in your house.

Think about how curious you are when you go to a new place that you feel

comfortable exploring... like a hotel. Don't you look in everything?

And if it gets a reaction, even a negative one, doesn't it still make

you curious about other things? Especially if everyone else gets to

explore in that area!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/29/99 6:35:57 PM Central Daylight Time,

angehowe@... writes:

<< If Lexi is trying to get your attention, and getting you to notice that

she has been in the trash again is the way she is getting it, make every

effort possible for her to get the good attention you need, by removing

the things that draw the bad attention. Eventually, she will understand

on her own why the trashcan is yucky, but at 18 months, it's just

another item to explore in your house. >>

I don't know if I agree with this or not. I of course think we need to remove

things that are going to hurt our baby's but I don't think we need to remove

EVERYTHING in our homes just because I child is getting into it. There needs

to be things around that children just CAN'T play with and they need to learn

that. If EVERYTHING is ok when they go tot someone elses home they will be

into everything there. My mother in here lvign room has a coffee table FULL

of crystal. NOT ONE of her grandchildren has ever even attempted to touch it

because they all learned that thoes were grandma's Pretty's and we must not

touch. I was of course scared when was born cause I didn't know HOW

they kept there kids from touching it. If goes for somthing that he

sn't supost to I go to him and tell him that's Mommy/Daddy's/Not for

whatever and move him away if he touches it again I do it agian and again and

again (someties he is really into it) I try to get him intrested in

somthing else. But you can't put your live away just because you ahve a child

they need to learn to be respectful of your belongings.

Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I don't remember how old your baby is. I have 3 children, 6.5,

Myles 3.5 and 12 weeks.

Both of my older children are what you might call spirited. They are

full of energy from sun up to sun down, constantly making noise and

always testing the limits.

The first year of Myles' life was sheer hell. was absolutely

horrible. She would not listen to me. I wore the baby in a sling

almost all day because she couldn't bear to leave him alone. One time

while I was talking to her about something she reached over and slapped

me in the face. I cried almost everyday. I felt like I failure; I

just didn't know what to do with her. I sent her to preschool two days

a week, but I really think that made her behavior worse. I read so

many parenting books. I really wondered if I was cut out to be a

mother. I even told my husband that maybe I should go back to work and

we should hire a professional. (I laugh at all this now) What saved

me is the fact the I knew other mothers and 3 yo who were having the

same problems. I almost hugged my friend for joy when she told me her

daughter had pulled her hair hard enough to make her cry. What is the

point of this long winded confession? Yes, children can learn not to

touch things, but bear in mind the personality of the child you have

and remember that there is such a thing as age-appropriate behavior.

It is not wrong to put the needs of our children above our own. We do

it all the time.

I finally decided I didn't want to fight with my strong-willed daughter

all the time. But I was worried about what other people, especially my

parents would think. I decided to ignore some of her behaviors and

concentrate on fixing one " problem " at a time. Okay, we still have our

days but for the most part she is an agreeable kid. I've learned not

to push things when she's sleepy or hungry. And I try to respect her

needs, giving her time to finish her task at hand before expecting her

to move on to something else.

I'm not quite sure all of this is coming across the way I intended and

part of me hesitates to send this post. Parenting is such a complex

and personal endeavor--its essence difficult to capture. You have to

follow your heart and do what works for you. If your child is the

first to touch Grandma's prettys, you are not a failure and he is not

bad, inquisitive maybe, but not bad.

Children understand the difference between their homes and other

people's homes. Often kids who test the limits at home don't try that

other places. In fact,

our neighbors are always telling me what fun is to be around and

how well behaved she is when she visits. She has lots of friends loves

to ride her bike and swim and play card games (except for UNO which I

want her to play). Sure sometimes I wish she were easier to live with,

but she's not. Although lots of things get better with age. I feel it

is unreasonable of me to expect her to be something she's not (like

obedient). Part of the journey of parenthood is learning to accept

these new creatures who have graced our lives. Sometimes that ain't

easy!

In addition to RAISING YOUR SPIRITED CHILD I found these books

helpful--WITHOUT SPANKING OR SPOILING,

POSITIVE DISCIPLINE FOR PRESCHOOLERS, SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY,

anything by Sears, MD and the Gessell Institute Series-YOUR ONE

YEAR OLD, TWO YEAR OLD, ETC.

These books are great at helping understand age-appropriate behaviors

so you can form age-appropriate expectations. I hope this has made

sense and is helpful.

--- Feb98@... wrote:

> From: Feb98@...

>

> In a message dated 6/29/99 6:35:57 PM Central

> Daylight Time,

> angehowe@... writes:

>

> << If Lexi is trying to get your attention, and

> getting you to notice that

> she has been in the trash again is the way she is

> getting it, make every

> effort possible for her to get the good attention

> you need, by removing

> the things that draw the bad attention.

> Eventually, she will understand

> on her own why the trashcan is yucky, but at 18

> months, it's just

> another item to explore in your house. >>

>

>

> I don't know if I agree with this or not. I of

> course think we need to remove

> things that are going to hurt our baby's but I don't

> think we need to remove

> EVERYTHING in our homes just because I child is

> getting into it. There needs

> to be things around that children just CAN'T play

> with and they need to learn

> that. If EVERYTHING is ok when they go tot someone

> elses home they will be

> into everything there. My mother in here lvign room

> has a coffee table FULL

> of crystal. NOT ONE of her grandchildren has ever

> even attempted to touch it

> because they all learned that thoes were grandma's

> Pretty's and we must not

> touch. I was of course scared when was born

> cause I didn't know HOW

> they kept there kids from touching it. If goes

> for somthing that he

> sn't supost to I go to him and tell him that's

> Mommy/Daddy's/Not for

> whatever and move him away if he touches it again I

> do it agian and again and

> again (someties he is really into it) I try to

> get him intrested in

> somthing else. But you can't put your live away just

> because you ahve a child

> they need to learn to be respectful of your

> belongings.

>

> Amy

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

, mum to (aka peach)12-22-98

[Guest guest]

Barbara,

Thank you for voicing what I couldn't. I have read all your book

suggestions except siblings without rivalry which I have here. My dd is

very spirited and doesn't conform. I have learned to work around her

personality and things go so much better now. There is a spirited child

list which is just great. We have been doing the spirited child workbook

exercises.

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

Amy,

I don't remember how old your baby is. I have 3 children, 6.5,

Myles 3.5 and 12 weeks.

Both of my older children are what you might call spirited. They are

full of energy from sun up to sun down, constantly making noise and

always testing the limits.

The first year of Myles' life was sheer hell. was absolutely

horrible. She would not listen to me. I wore the baby in a sling

almost all day because she couldn't bear to leave him alone. One time

while I was talking to her about something she reached over and slapped

me in the face. I cried almost everyday. I felt like I failure; I

just didn't know what to do with her. I sent her to preschool two days

a week, but I really think that made her behavior worse. I read so

many parenting books. I really wondered if I was cut out to be a

mother. I even told my husband that maybe I should go back to work and

we should hire a professional. (I laugh at all this now) What saved

me is the fact the I knew other mothers and 3 yo who were having the

same problems. I almost hugged my friend for joy when she told me her

daughter had pulled her hair hard enough to make her cry. What is the

point of this long winded confession? Yes, children can learn not to

touch things, but bear in mind the personality of the child you have

and remember that there is such a thing as age-appropriate behavior.

It is not wrong to put the needs of our children above our own. We do

it all the time.

I finally decided I didn't want to fight with my strong-willed daughter

all the time. But I was worried about what other people, especially my

parents would think. I decided to ignore some of her behaviors and

concentrate on fixing one " problem " at a time. Okay, we still have our

days but for the most part she is an agreeable kid. I've learned not

to push things when she's sleepy or hungry. And I try to respect her

needs, giving her time to finish her task at hand before expecting her

to move on to something else.

I'm not quite sure all of this is coming across the way I intended and

part of me hesitates to send this post. Parenting is such a complex

and personal endeavor--its essence difficult to capture. You have to

follow your heart and do what works for you. If your child is the

first to touch Grandma's prettys, you are not a failure and he is not

bad, inquisitive maybe, but not bad.

Children understand the difference between their homes and other

people's homes. Often kids who test the limits at home don't try that

other places. In fact,

our neighbors are always telling me what fun is to be around and

how well behaved she is when she visits. She has lots of friends loves

to ride her bike and swim and play card games (except for UNO which I

want her to play). Sure sometimes I wish she were easier to live with,

but she's not. Although lots of things get better with age. I feel it

is unreasonable of me to expect her to be something she's not (like

obedient). Part of the journey of parenthood is learning to accept

these new creatures who have graced our lives. Sometimes that ain't

easy!

In addition to RAISING YOUR SPIRITED CHILD I found these books

helpful--WITHOUT SPANKING OR SPOILING,

POSITIVE DISCIPLINE FOR PRESCHOOLERS, SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY,

anything by Sears, MD and the Gessell Institute Series-YOUR ONE

YEAR OLD, TWO YEAR OLD, ETC.

These books are great at helping understand age-appropriate behaviors

so you can form age-appropriate expectations. I hope this has made

sense and is helpful.

[Guest guest]

,

I don't put everything up but I do put up things that my son can't seem to

leave alone. Part of why breastfeeding babies are smarter is of course the

milk but also many other reasons. Bonding, physical contact, and one thing

that I had read about was that the activity of actually nursing stimulates

more blood flow to the brain because of the work of the jaw muscles.

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

<< File: ATT00007.htm >> << File: ATT00008.txt >> << Message: Re:

High Maintenance Baby >>

[Guest guest]

> My mother in here lvign room has a coffee table FULL

> of crystal. NOT ONE of her grandchildren has ever even attempted to touch it

> because they all learned that thoes were grandma's Pretty's and we must not

> touch.

Mine too. My mom's house is full of glass tables, as is my dad's and my

in-law's. My kids haven't broken a thing there.

Up until the time my first child was about 18 months or so, and I was in

the full swing of home daycare, I still had my crystal things, glass

objects, expensive books, etc, out in full view of the babies. After a

while, it just made more sense to me to take away the temptations from

them that were bothersome to me. Just because the bottom two shelves of

*my* entertainment center now contain toys doesn't mean that my kids

think that every one's bottom two entertainment center items are to be

played with. They have instead learned that they have their things, and

I have mine/we have ours.

It's more sensible for *me and my family* to pick our battles

carefully. I prefer saving the word " NO!!! " for when I really mean it,

and so that it doesn't lose it's edge. And so far it's worked.

What is it that they say? Take what works for you and leave the rest?

[Guest guest]

Beautifully said, Barbara!

[Guest guest]

OK. I got put on antibiotics (again), this time for a bladder infection. I

now have a vaginal yeast infection. Does that mean I need to start

treatments for thrush, etc.? I have heard that when you have a yeast

infection anywhere you need to treat, but Emma has had a yeast diaper rash

(not currently) and seems to have no other symptoms.

What do you guys think?

and Emma 3-30-99

[Guest guest]

Just treat the vaginal yeast infection now. You can do vinegar swabs on

your perineum without having to do the Monistat goo. Just soak a

washcloth with water and vinegar (start with 4 parts water to 1 part

vinegar) and wipe as much as you can reach. It will help right your

normal flora and let the bacteria that is supposed to be there do its

job.

I'm going to be looking at antibiotic therapy tomorrow... I am

experiencing my very first ear infection. I'm thinking about starting a

new thread describing it so moms will understand why babies pull off the

breast!!

[Guest guest]

,

Start taking oral Acidophilus right away. You need to get your system back in

balance as soon as possible.

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

OK. I got put on antibiotics (again), this time for a bladder infection. I

now have a vaginal yeast infection. Does that mean I need to start

treatments for thrush, etc.? I have heard that when you have a yeast

infection anywhere you need to treat, but Emma has had a yeast diaper rash

(not currently) and seems to have no other symptoms.

What do you guys think?

and Emma 3-30-99

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

,

I suffered an ear infection in both ears at age 12. I thought my ears were

going to explode. It hurt like someone was stabbing an icepick in my ear.

I will never forget rolling around the couch holding my head and

screaming. I feel for you. Can you get mullien oil and put garlic in it.

It helps the pain a lot.

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

Just treat the vaginal yeast infection now. You can do vinegar swabs on

your perineum without having to do the Monistat goo. Just soak a

washcloth with water and vinegar (start with 4 parts water to 1 part

vinegar) and wipe as much as you can reach. It will help right your

normal flora and let the bacteria that is supposed to be there do its

job.

I'm going to be looking at antibiotic therapy tomorrow... I am

experiencing my very first ear infection. I'm thinking about starting a

new thread describing it so moms will understand why babies pull off the

breast!!

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/30/99 9:52:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

austenj@... writes:

<< OK. I got put on antibiotics (again), this time for a bladder infection.

I

now have a vaginal yeast infection. Does that mean I need to start

treatments for thrush, etc.? I have heard that when you have a yeast

infection anywhere you need to treat, but Emma has had a yeast diaper rash

(not currently) and seems to have no other symptoms.

What do you guys think?

>>

:

Does this mean that everytime you're on antibiotics, your baby gets thrush?

Have you tried treating yourself with acidophilus while on antibiotics

instead of treating the baby for thrush? If I have to be on an antibiotic,

which is rare, I automatically start acidophilus, in a capsule form. It

introduces new " good " bacteria into my system that the antibiotics kills.

The trick is to not take both at the same time. They must be at least an

hour apart, or the antibiotics will kill the acidophilus. KWIM? Its a

proven method, and I'm sure it will work for your baby.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/30/99 9:59:48 PM Central Daylight Time,

naturebaby@... writes:

<< I suffered an ear infection in both ears at age 12. I thought my ears

were

going to explode. >>

You didn't have an ear infection until you were 12??? WOW that's sooooo

wonderful. I had ear infections ALLLLLLL the time. EVERY time I went swimming

and my head got under water or my ears got wet taking a shower I would get an

ear infection. I cal recall SOOO many times laying on my moms lap with a hot

water bottle under my ear and her rubbing my back. Man do thoes HURT!!!!!!!!

I was wondering if we can get a real count of how many peopel on this list

were formula fed or breast fed and if breastfed for how long?

Is there a way we can keep track of the answers or anything??

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/1/99 6:39:59 AM Central Daylight Time, NFLI4U@...

writes:

<< KWIM? >>

What does this mean?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/30/99 2:47:33 PM Central Daylight Time,

peachsmum@... writes:

<< if the

reason breast fed babies are smarter than non is because they do more

bonding than formula babies >>

If you wanna see someone react fast tell a formula feeding mom breastfed

baby's are smarter you will hear soooo fast well litttle suzi is teh top of

her class blah blah blah.

But you never know if you had breastfed little suzi she may have been the top

of teh 5th grade class insteded of 3rd hehehe

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/30/99 11:45:14 AM Central Daylight Time,

barbotto@... writes:

<< barbara >>

What a time you must be having with that child of yours I thought

had his moments By the way he is 17 months and from what I can tell and a

very well behaved child compaired to most.

I was wondering if maybe at some of her more powerful outburst did you still

not spank her or are you totally angest that. I noticed a book like that in

your list.

I think if I had a child that acted out that much I would at least try it.

But then again I am sure everyone will disagree but I have slapped 's

hand before and so has my husband of course when Daddy does it his heart

breaks if I do it. He doesn't seem to notice. Oh well

Amy

[Guest guest]

> << KWIM? >>

>

> What does this mean?

KWIM = Know What I Mean

[Guest guest]

Know what I mean?

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

From: Feb98@...

In a message dated 7/1/99 6:39:59 AM Central Daylight Time, NFLI4U@...

writes:

<< KWIM? >>

What does this mean?

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Amy,

I do think that was my first and only ear infection. I was breastfed for 6

months and then went on goat milk. My sister was bf for two weeks, ff for

3 months and then on goat milk. My sister had multiple ear infections

througout her whole life.

Wendi

Re: High Maintenance Baby

From: Feb98@...

In a message dated 6/30/99 9:59:48 PM Central Daylight Time,

naturebaby@... writes:

<< I suffered an ear infection in both ears at age 12. I thought my ears

were

going to explode. >>

You didn't have an ear infection until you were 12??? WOW that's sooooo

wonderful. I had ear infections ALLLLLLL the time. EVERY time I went

swimming

and my head got under water or my ears got wet taking a shower I would get

an

ear infection. I cal recall SOOO many times laying on my moms lap with a

hot

water bottle under my ear and her rubbing my back. Man do thoes

HURT!!!!!!!!

I was wondering if we can get a real count of how many peopel on this list

were formula fed or breast fed and if breastfed for how long?

Is there a way we can keep track of the answers or anything??

Amy

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

> AND FYI, I was formula fed, from day one, not one drop of BM.....

> Stacie

Me too Stacie.

My mother will be visiting us in two weeks... just in time for a new

series of LLL meetings where I have volunteered to have them at my

house... and my Mother will be here for one meeting and one Enrichment

meeting! Wonder if she'll be listening.