Re: How Long Does It Take?

[Guest guest]

<< Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last night it

took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she was screaming

I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my heart! I love her so

much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go through my heart is

breaking every minute!? >>

I have to tell you that I tried this with my first son and now I am totally

against it. Our babies cry for a reason and I think moms know it. Why else

would it be so hard on us?? I say, go with your motherly instincts no matter

what anyone tells you. You know what is best for your baby. They are only

this young and dependent for a little while.

~

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

I don't know if I missed an original post - was there a reason that she

needed to go to sleep on her own at this time? If there is, then try to

develop a bedtime routine and remain consistant (just my opinion), like sing

a song, read a book, etc and then put her down for nite-nite. If there is no

specific reason, then don't rush it because eventually they do all learn to

go to sleep on their own . Joan

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for the advice! Sue:)

On Sat, 17 Jul 1999 12:47:25 EDT JTSanti@... writes:

>From: JTSanti@...

>

><< Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last

>night it

>took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she was

>screaming

>I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my heart! I love

>her so

>much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go through my

>heart is

>breaking every minute!? >>

>

>I have to tell you that I tried this with my first son and now I am

>totally

>against it. Our babies cry for a reason and I think moms know it. Why

>else

>would it be so hard on us?? I say, go with your motherly instincts no

>matter

>what anyone tells you. You know what is best for your baby. They are

>only

>this young and dependent for a little while.

>~

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

if it bothers you so much (rightfully so) why again are you doing it? Not

talking sarcastically, I cannot remember everyone...

At 11:20 AM 7/17/99 -0400, you wrote:

>

>

>Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last night

>it took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she was

>screaming I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my heart! I

>love her so much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go

>through my heart is breaking every minute!? Sue mom to Marissa 12-07-98

>

>

*****************************************************

- Proud mommy of Gilbert Cory Valdez (01-10-99)

Visit us: http://members.home.net/gtvaldez/

Imagination Station Registered Family Home Childcare

*****************************************************

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your input! I am happy to hear all different kinds of

advice! Sue

On Sat, 17 Jul 1999 15:49:23 EDT MJplus5@... writes:

>From: MJplus5@...

>

>Hi Sue,

>I don't know if I missed an original post - was there a reason that

>she

>needed to go to sleep on her own at this time? If there is, then try

>to

>develop a bedtime routine and remain consistant (just my opinion),

>like sing

>a song, read a book, etc and then put her down for nite-nite. If

>there is no

>specific reason, then don't rush it because eventually they do all

>learn to

>go to sleep on their own . Joan

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

> Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last night

> it took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she was

> screaming I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my heart! I

> love her so much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go

> through my heart is breaking every minute!? Sue mom to Marissa 12-07-98

NONE!!

At seven months, Marissa still needs to have you at the ready for her!!

Why are you doing sleep training?

[Guest guest]

Hello, I just wanted to say that if it upset your little girl so much maybe

she is not ready to put herself to sleep. My older 3 boys didn't put

themselves to sleep until they were closer to 2 or 2 1/2 years. Until then

they liked to BF until we quit, then rock or have us lay by them.

I have never had the heart to listen to them cry especially when I know if I

BF for a few minutes they will be out like a light.

they are only little once, I like to enjoy the time with them instead of

trying to make them grow up faster than necessary.

Just my opinion though:)

Kari

[Guest guest]

The doctors told me to! She's sleeping through now it only took 1 hr of

one night! Sue;0)

On Sat, 17 Jul 1999 21:39:07 +0000 Howell

writes:

>

>

>> Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last

>night

>> it took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she

>was

>> screaming I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my

>heart! I

>> love her so much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go

>> through my heart is breaking every minute!? Sue mom to Marissa

>12-07-98

>

>NONE!!

>

>At seven months, Marissa still needs to have you at the ready for

>her!!

>

>Why are you doing sleep training?

>

>

>

>

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

, who is 6 1/2 weeks old, is learning to put herself to sleep

now...against my wantings. I rocked to sleep every night until

about 6 months ago (she is 5) and i fully expected to rock but she

seems to like being put down. Her skin is very hot and so is mine and

when i hold her when shes trying to go to sleep we both end up sweating

like pigs and she gets cranky...so i just started putting her down and

now she is down to about 10 to 15 minutes of light to moderate fussing

and then she goes to sleep. However i will be thankful once she learns

where her thumb is! I get tired of going up and down from plugging her

back in! LOL (The pacifier) She knocks it out of her mouth then gets

mad cause she can't get her thumb in.

--Debbie

___________________________________________________________________

Get the Internet just the way you want it.

Free software, free e-mail, and free Internet access for a month!

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/18/99 4:51:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

mdmoore4@... writes:

<< However i will be thankful once she learns

where her thumb is! I get tired of going up and down from plugging her

back in! LOL (The pacifier) She knocks it out of her mouth then gets

mad cause she can't get her thumb in. >>

My little girl is 3 weeks old, and I'm going thru the same thing. She just

decided to take a pacifier after being at my breast almost constantly for the

first 2 weeks. Felt like my nipples were gonna fall off. But I've found

that the Mam pacifiers which don't have the " doorknocker " handles work best.

She can't pull them out.

[Guest guest]

Good luck! Sue:)

On Sun, 18 Jul 1999 16:50:54 EDT Debbie L

writes:

> , who is 6 1/2 weeks

>old, is learning to put herself to sleep now...against my wantings. I

>rocked to sleep every night until about 6 months ago (she is 5)

>and i fully expected to rock but she seems to like being put

>down. Her skin is very hot and so is mine and when i hold her when

>shes trying to go to sleep we both end up sweating like pigs and she

>gets cranky...so i just started putting her down and now she is down

>to about 10 to 15 minutes of light to moderate fussing and then she

>goes to sleep. However i will be thankful once she learns where her

>thumb is! I get tired of going up and down from plugging her

>back in! LOL (The pacifier) She knocks it out of her mouth then

>gets

>mad cause she can't get her thumb in. --Debbie

>___________________________________________________________________

>Get the Internet just the way you want it. Free software, free e-mail,

>and free Internet access for a month! Try Juno Web:

>http://dl.www.juno.com/dynoget/tagj. ---------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Try the evenflo w/ultra vent that way they don't get skin irritation.

Marissa uses this brand and no rash ever! I just thought if they are

going to use one I found this brand to be the best! Sue:)

On Sun, 18 Jul 1999 16:59:52 EDT NFLI4U@... writes:

>From: NFLI4U@...

>

>In a message dated 7/18/99 4:51:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

>mdmoore4@... writes:

>

><< However i will be thankful once she learns

> where her thumb is! I get tired of going up and down from plugging

>her

> back in! LOL (The pacifier) She knocks it out of her mouth then

>gets

> mad cause she can't get her thumb in. >>

>

>My little girl is 3 weeks old, and I'm going thru the same thing. She

>just

>decided to take a pacifier after being at my breast almost constantly

>for the

>first 2 weeks. Felt like my nipples were gonna fall off. But I've

>found

>that the Mam pacifiers which don't have the " doorknocker " handles work

>best.

>She can't pull them out.

>

>

>

>---------------------------

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/17/99 10:22:45 AM Central Daylight Time,

sueinnbpt@... writes:

<< Marissa is 7 months and I let her cry her self back to sleep last night

it took her just over 1 hr. I just put her down for a nap and she was

screaming I have such a hard time listening to her it breaks my heart! I

love her so much! How many days and nights of this do I have to go

through my heart is breaking every minute!? >>

That sounds so hard. I know what you must be going through. Since I can

imagen all the mail everyoen else is going to send. I thought I would respond

with somthign other then telling you what a bad mother you are for trying to

help your child sleep.

It's hard to be a good mother with 3 hours of sleep at night. And everyoen in

the family can intercat better when everyone is well rested and the only way

that can happen is it baby sleeps. If it took her an hour to fall asleep then

I don't know how quick it's going to be. But I would sugest you make sure she

is nice and full and dry and sleepy give her a nice bath (smae time every

night) read her a nice story and rock her for a bit until she is nice and

sleepy then lay her in her crib tell her you LOVE her and tuck her and and

say goodnight. If you ahev a night light you can put it on for her. But

leave her room. From my experence goign back in after a certin number of

minutes realy makes mnatters MCUH worse. The way we did it was we jsut let

cry until he was asleep. if you keep the same routine before bed and

do it at the same time each night that will help alot too but if you let her

cry for 15 minutes then give up and go get her you are making things much

worse on yourself. of course if you don't wanan do it at all that's another

thing but it wont' take over a week if you don't go in and get her and you

let her fall asleep on her own. I would go into my bedroom and turn up the tv

so I couldn't hear him it was so sad.

But don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to get your child to

sleep. She is just in a routine of waking up at night because that is what

she has been doing all along all you are doing is chanign her routine. It's

an adjustment for everyoen. You will feel much better when everyoen is

getting a good night sleep.

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/18/99 9:57:59 AM Central Daylight Time,

sueinnbpt@... writes:

<< The doctors told me to! She's sleeping through now it only took 1 hr of

one night! Sue;0) >>

I am soo glad she did it so well. It took about 3 days but he only

cried about 10 minutes each night until he just waved bye when I layed him in

his crib He is so silly.

Amy

[Guest guest]

> I would go into my bedroom and turn up the tv so I couldn't hear him it was so

sad.

When we did this with , we put the vacuum cleaner near his door...

my pediatrician told me it would help him fall asleep... I think it was

just to drown him out, personally.

> But don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to get your child to

> sleep. She is just in a routine of waking up at night because that is what

> she has been doing all along all you are doing is chanign her routine.

This sounds good in theory, but reverse the roles. Let's say you are

growing faster than you ever will at any other point in your life.

(Think of your pregnancy and how fast you grew then, for a mental

reference.) If you laid down in bed and realized you were still a

little hungrier than you thought an hour ago and asked your hubby to

make half a sandwich for you, you would probably expect him to do so,

and not roll over to get more sleep... pulling the covers up to not hear

future requests. You would hope he would be willing, happy even, to

help you meet your changing needs.

Babies grow faster in the first 12 months of their lives than at any

other time. The next 6 are fast as well, comparable to puberty, and we

all know how our diets changed then!

[This isn't a judgemental post to you about how you have done things

with your baby; it's just thought-provoking. It's also not intended to

be offending to anyone here.]

[Guest guest]

i believe the doctoe told her to let the baby cry it out? (correct me if

i am wrong) My doctor told me when veronica was 6 wks she HAD to be

sleepng i her own bed and HAD to be on a schedule by now, I felt like

such a horrible mother! But thanks to hearing other mommies like on

this list i now know its ok to go with what you feel is right. Just

another example of how wonderful the medical profession is!

, mum to (aka peach)12-22-98

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/21/99 7:44:47 PM Central Daylight Time,

angehowe@... writes:

<< If you laid down in bed and realized you were still a

little hungrier than you thought an hour ago and asked your hubby to

make half a sandwich for you, you would probably expect him to do so,

and not roll over to get more sleep... pulling the covers up to not hear

future requests. You would hope he would be willing, happy even, to

help you meet your changing needs. >>

Well first off I don't know a husband who would get out of bed asleep to make

a sandwitch for his wife just because she was hungry. I would think it would

be rude of the wife to even ask such a thing. Why wouldn't she get up herself

to get her own sandwitch?? But if I went to bed and relized I was hungry I

would not go get a sandwitch I would go to sleep because I never eat before I

go to bed and I sure don't get out of bed to eat.

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 3:26:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Feb98@... writes:

<< Well first off I don't know a husband who would get out of bed asleep to

make

a sandwitch for his wife just because she was hungry. I would think it would

be rude of the wife to even ask such a thing. Why wouldn't she get up

herself

to get her own sandwitch?? But if I went to bed and relized I was hungry I

would not go get a sandwitch I would go to sleep because I never eat before

I

go to bed and I sure don't get out of bed to eat.

Amy

>>

Amy,

I think you missed the point, if you asked something similar of Dh during the

day time, you would expect him to do so, and NOT tell you TOUGH It not time

for you to eat yet. Or say if you had to use the bathroom, and were told NO,

HOLD OFF it is not TIME for you to go.....

But as a baby, they have not gotten to where they can go without food like

adults can, and just as with a baby, when they NEED to eat at bedtime, on in

the middle of the night and etc......you would expect to have your needs met,

just as a baby does

I am sorry if I am out of line or anything, but I took what said WAY

differently, so I thought I would share

Stacie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 3:26:38 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Feb98@... writes:

<< But if I went to bed and relized I was hungry I

would not go get a sandwitch I would go to sleep because I never eat before

I

go to bed and I sure don't get out of bed to eat.

>>

i do all the time!! but men ask women ALL the time " babe,get me some water " or

` " baby, get me some chips " so why couldnt a woman do the same?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 10:26:39 PM !!!First Boot!!!, Feb98@...

writes:

<< I would think it would

be rude of the wife to even ask such a thing. >>

did start out " what if you were *so many months* pregnant " in this

example. And in MY HUMBLE opinion...when I am 7, 8, 9 months pregnant....and

hungry and laying in bed....my hubby better jump at my request for a

sandwich. It's the LEAST he could do. He should be OFFERING.

And besides...she was also using this as a comparison to an infant...who

can't just get up and fix a snack for himself.

Maybe I'm just a mean woman ;-)

~

[Guest guest]

Amy,

Is there a reason why you keep implying that " we " are going to sending " mean "

mail to anyone who chooses to use the " Ferber " method? I'm just curious as I

don't ever recall anyone sending anyone mean mail on this subject. (Including

when you posted this very topic in Feb.) Personally, I don't believe in

letting my child cry it out. Philip still does and always has slept in our

bed with us. I still nurse him to sleep and if he wakes during the night. I

will continue this way until he lets me know he no longer needs it. Even

though I feel strongly about this subject I would *never* intentionally make

anyone feel bad about their decision. I believe that everyone in this group

has shown the same respect. If I'm wrong please feel free to correct me. : )

Dana -Mommy to Philip ph 9/17/97

In a message dated 7/21/99 4:53:12 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Feb98@... writes:

<< That sounds so hard. I know what you must be going through. Since I can

imagen all the mail everyoen else is going to send. I thought I would

respond

with somthign other then telling you what a bad mother you are for trying to

help your child sleep.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 3:26:38 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Feb98@... writes:

<< Well first off I don't know a husband who would get out of bed asleep to

make

a sandwich for his wife just because she was hungry. >>

MY HUBBY DOES!!! He even woke up & went to Del Taco to get me tacos one

night!!! He is GREAT!!!

Just thought I would share!

Cristina

[Guest guest]

I'm with you . If I need or even just want something while preg.

OR nursing, my dh gets it for me. He is aware of how hard I work all

day doing all the things a SAHM of 3 does, including special things for

him like going to the dry cleaners for his shirts (all my clothes go in

the washer!!) or baking something he really likes.

If I can remember that far back, when I wasn't pg or nursing, if I went

to bed a little hungry, I WOULD rather sleep. THe funny thing is, my

dh, who is in great shape (works out at lunch,instead of going to the

dry cleaners(ha ha))can't sleep if he is hungry. He'll get up in the

middle of the night and eat. Does not matter what time. He just can't

sleep with a tummy rumble!

As adults we know that there will be food in the morning. A baby

doesn't know that. A very young baby doesn't even have object

permanence. What he can't see, doesn't exist. So if your baby is in

another room and wakes up, he does not understand you are near until

you physically are. I would think that's a scary feeling, especially

for someone so utterly dependent.

Like said, these things are not meant as judgement of your

choices, just another way of looking at the same situation. You have

to do what YOUR heart tells you is right. The amount of time they are

little goes so fast, how could it ever be wrong to meet their needs?

--- Mygrdntool@... wrote:

> From: Mygrdntool@...

>

> In a message dated 7/22/99 10:26:39 PM !!!First

> Boot!!!, Feb98@...

> writes:

>

> << I would think it would

> be rude of the wife to even ask such a thing. >>

>

> did start out " what if you were *so many

> months* pregnant " in this

> example. And in MY HUMBLE opinion...when I am 7, 8,

> 9 months pregnant....and

> hungry and laying in bed....my hubby better jump at

> my request for a

> sandwich. It's the LEAST he could do. He should be

> OFFERING.

> And besides...she was also using this as a

> comparison to an infant...who

> can't just get up and fix a snack for himself.

>

> Maybe I'm just a mean woman ;-)

>

> ~

>

> ---------------------------

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 10:41:48 PM Central Daylight Time,

PhilsGal@... writes:

<< Is there a reason why you keep implying that " we " are going to sending

" mean "

mail to anyone who chooses to use the " Ferber " method? I'm just curious as I

don't ever recall anyone sending anyone mean mail on this subject. >>

Well I guess mean mail was the wrong word. It wasn't mean but in each e-mail

on the subject not one person answered the question asked. They all wanted to

know why on earth she would be letting her child CRY insteed of going to her

in the middle of the night.

I am not for letting a 2 month old baby cry herself to sleep but a baby who

is 7 months old CAN wait until morning she will adjust her eating to get more

during the day and sleep more at night and the family as a whole will benifit

from it. I understand that there is a majority of mothers using AP here but

keep in mind that is not the only way. In fact it is not even the main stream

way. In some ways it may very well be the best way but in some I don't think

it is. But that's the thing about America we can all do things differently.

She asked a question on how long do you think it will take my daughter to go

to sleep on her own. Not what should I do with my 7 month old who isn't

sleeping through the night yet.

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/99 9:58:30 PM Central Daylight Time,

Mygrdntool@... writes:

<< did start out " what if you were *so many months* pregnant " in this

example. And in MY HUMBLE opinion...when I am 7, 8, 9 months

pregnant....and

hungry and laying in bed....my hubby better jump at my request for a

sandwich. It's the LEAST he could do. He should be OFFERING. >>

Well I guess each of us have differnt relationships with our familys. I will

haev to try that next time I am pregnant and see if he brings me somthing. It

would never even enter my mind to ask something like that. But I have no idea

if he would do it or not. It will be an intresting experement. That is IF I

even am lucky enough to get pregnant again.

Amy