Guest guest Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 I would have told them your mouths are bigger than my ass og people can make you so mad betty the nursing home Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time.There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the "cool bunch" to hang out with; the bullies.I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, "boy that woman has a big ass." And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- "you know where that comes from, good eats," I said, "yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close?" I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense.I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking?????God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. Damn bullies!!!!All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too!Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Well, Deb, they are obviously mistaken, because you are a beautiful thin person right now. It is too bad they couldn't see that, but what I do in those situations is think, wow, they must have something really bad going on in their lives right now, I feel sorry for them! Poor things! I will also usually make myself say, " I forgive you " and I usually will add 'because' to that as it will kind of make me sort through it and work it out. My dialogue might go something like this: " I forgive you because " ....maybe you had a bad childhood or horrible up bringing and no one taught you manners....I feel blessed because I was taught manners. " I forgive you because " ....you have reached the pinnacle of your life and now sit in a nursing home, and all you have to show for it is bullying others....how very sad, because I know I will not be that way. I feel sadness for you. " I forgive you because " ....in order for you to feel better about yourself, the only method you knew of was to try to bring someone else down....I am blessed because I know that I have no need of that, as I have the support of others around me, and am surrounded by love. I am also blessed because I know that this attitude came from within you, and has absolutely nothing to do with me. A friend of mine sent me this email only yesterday - I'd like to share it with you here, because I thought it was great. I hope you enjoy it. Good story.... One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. He was really friendly. So, I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so....Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Have a blessed, garbage-free day. Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time. There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the " cool bunch " to hang out with; the bullies. I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, " boy that woman has a big ass. " And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- " you know where that comes from, good eats, " I said, " yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close? " I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense. I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking????? God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. Damn bullies!!!! All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too! Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Deb, Last week, I was in a grocery store and this short seemingly sweet elderly lady wheeled her cart next me and asked me to reach up and bring some packages of deli meat down for her. She looked in my basket and made some comment about how we find ourselves eating things we shouldn't...like implying that I was eating junk! I had some bananas, some pears, and a package of mini cherry pastries in my arm cart. I guess the mini cherry pastries is what instigated the comment to me because her eyes also went to by ample arms. In the past, I would have made sure that I went out with some type of longer sleeve on, in order to hide my upper arms. However lately, I've let go of that rule and I feel like I've seen another person including this woman's eyes going from my face to my arm in conversations. As my short interaction progressed with this woman, I started to feel more uncomfortable about the energy of her comments. The interaction lasted less than five minutes, and I realized later that I was angry. I felt like I had an encounter with the " food police, " while I was minding my own business shopping! I came home that night confused and still triggered into anger. I have this practice of visualizing myself back into situations that leave me riled up and speaking from the feelings that I'm feeling...basically saying to that person everything the feelings want to say. I communicated things like I didn't appreciate the comments and that although she may have meant well, the interaction angered me. Very quickly, the feelings changed and I realized and felt like I could understand this woman's fear and anxiety. What I got, was that she felt out of control and alone. She couldn't do something as simple as reach up and get her own food anymore. In the brief exchange, she had also communicated worries about finances. She was alone shopping in a grocery store, so I started to wonder about her support network, etc. Although her attempt at communication wasn't the most skillful, it was an attempt at connection or to feel some sort of camaraderie with me. The IE Long Haul group has started reading through and commenting on the first chapter of When Women [People] Stop Hating Their Bodies. Some members, like me, have already read the book and know the general themes of the book. One important point in the book, that I want to remain aware of is that the authors stress that any form of body bashing is code for anxieties and stress that people can not or do not have the skill to face...that a person's problem with fat is really a mask for the bad feelings they have about themselves and their life. You were having a nice visit with your aunt. I can imagine some insecurities and envy that could come up in these woman observing your visit with your aunt and your ability to leave. There's nothing wrong with having a big ass! I got one that has been commented on at various points in my life...and no matter what size I am, biological heritage has determined that it will always be bigger than average. My bum has been greatly admired and has also sent tongues into negative fits. I remember an instance when I was trying on some clothes in a dressing room at a store that I loved and this cackle of women were commenting about how my ass was huge. I noticed that their butts were flat... " just jealously " , I said to myself at the time! I'm sure that they had insecurities that were taken out on my ample arse. Latoya:) > Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too! > > Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hi Deb, I'm thinking those bullies are probably just miserable living in their little circle of friends just feeding off the negativity of each other and they are unhappy as they saw you happy and having a nice visit with your aunt + you got to leave to go somewhere else and they just wanted to say anything mean to try and put a damper on you and your day. I think it's totally their issue. I hope you are feeling better. Kudos to you for being aware and trying to do something to make yourself feel better. Kudos to you for speaking up for yourself as well!! Jo. > > Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time. > > There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the " cool bunch " to hang out with; the bullies. > > I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, " boy that woman has a big ass. " And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- " you know where that comes from, good eats, " I said, " yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close? " I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense. > > I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking????? > > God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. > > Damn bullies!!!! > > All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. > > Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too! > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 so very true all of it a counselor told me once those who put others down are insecure themselves. your answers would be the right ones Betty Re: the nursing home Well, Deb, they are obviously mistaken, because you are a beautiful thin person right now. It is too bad they couldn't see that, but what I do in those situations is think, wow, they must have something really bad going on in their lives right now, I feel sorry for them! Poor things! I will also usually make myself say, "I forgive you" and I usually will add 'because' to that as it will kind of make me sort through it and work it out. My dialogue might go something like this:"I forgive you because"....maybe you had a bad childhood or horrible up bringing and no one taught you manners....I feel blessed because I was taught manners."I forgive you because"....you have reached the pinnacle of your life and now sit in a nursing home, and all you have to show for it is bullying others....how very sad, because I know I will not be that way. I feel sadness for you."I forgive you because"....in order for you to feel better about yourself, the only method you knew of was to try to bring someone else down....I am blessed because I know that I have no need of that, as I have the support of others around me, and am surrounded by love. I am also blessed because I know that this attitude came from within you, and has absolutely nothing to do with me. A friend of mine sent me this email only yesterday - I'd like to share it with you here, because I thought it was great. I hope you enjoy it. Good story.... One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. He was really friendly. So, I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so....Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Have a blessed, garbage-free day. On Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 5:50 AM, paquiller <dmackesrcn> wrote: Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time.There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the "cool bunch" to hang out with; the bullies.I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, "boy that woman has a big ass." And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- "you know where that comes from, good eats," I said, "yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close?" I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense.I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking?????God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. Damn bullies!!!!All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too!Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 LOL! Thanks Latoya! I too have been gifted with a larger bottom (thanks Mom!) - Even at a normal weight in high school I always wore 1 size larger bottom than my top. My sister, who has the same body structure as me actually went to a surgeon to ask about liposuction. It was sort of comical because she was so focused on getting rid of her lower body fat and the surgeon assumed she wanted a breast enlargement! Thank you all for your supportive comments about my encounter with the lady at the nursing home. I feel so much better today! Yesterday I did not overeat - nor did i diet! What an amazing feat for me. IE does work. Deb > There's nothing wrong with having a big ass! I got one that has been commented on at various points in my life...and no matter what size I am, biological heritage has determined that it will always be bigger than average. My bum has been greatly admired and has also sent tongues into negative fits. I remember an instance when I was trying on some clothes in a dressing room at a store that I loved and this cackle of women were commenting about how my ass was huge. I noticed that their butts were flat... " just jealously " , I said to myself at the time! I'm sure that they had insecurities that were taken out on my ample arse. > > Latoya:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Me too (Mom's the culprit)! I've also always been 1 to 2 sizes bigger on the bottom. I forgot about that until you mentioned it because I'm so used to it. L. > > LOL! Thanks Latoya! > > I too have been gifted with a larger bottom (thanks Mom!) - Even at a normal weight in high school I always wore 1 size larger bottom than my top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi Latoya, It's interesting how we interpret other people's comments and internalize them. The woman was buying deli meats...very unhealthy, filled with nitrites! She was probably making the comment about what she was buying! CaroleLast week, I was in a grocery store and this short seemingly sweet elderly lady wheeled her cart next me and asked me to reach up and bring some packages of deli meat down for her. She looked in my basket and made some comment about how we find ourselves eating things we shouldn't...like implying that I was eating junk! Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people. Go to Yahoo! Answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 When a kid is taunted and the parent says, " Well, they're just jealous! " , I always thought that was sort of a weak thing to say to a kid, that there were other things to teach them about the situation....But this is a perfect example of that it might be partly that. Truly...women hear men talk about J-lo, Kim Kardashian, etc. They aren't making posters of women like this because men hate curves! Sure, some men are more leg men, butt men, chest men, etc. And of those men, some want their women more curvy and round than others. Also, when a woman doesn't feel good about her own self, she is going to just be waiting to pounce on something about someone else, so she can be critical and therefore feel better about herself. It truly is about them, and not you, in this case. I've seen women with a butt they don't feel good about, or even just low self esteem about some other part of their own body, make fun of a woman with lots of what many men love! So..even though I think there's usually a lot more to it than, " They're just jealous, " maybe in this case, they really are. ;-) Hang in there and represent for us girls that " got back. " We need not be embarrassed about our " assets. " Warrior > > Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time. > > There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the " cool bunch " to hang out with; the bullies. > > I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, " boy that woman has a big ass. " And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- " you know where that comes from, good eats, " I said, " yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close? " I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense. > > I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking????? > > God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. > > Damn bullies!!!! > > All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. > > Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too! > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Deb, Your post brought up a memory for me of when I was in elementary school and one Halloween we went to a nursing home, dressed in our costumes and sang songs for the elderly people there. I think I was dressed up as Holly Hobby. One elderly lady said something to me about how I was a big one. I remember how hurt I was. As far as the nursing home goes, you need to remember that elderly people are often not in their right mind. You mention how it reminded you of junior high school. I think as we get older, we do return to be very child like. I know it is hard and it hurts. But I wouldn't give these older women (I am assuming they are older) your power. You aren't hurting them by rebelling, but only yourself. Chalk it up for what it is and talk lovingly and kindly to yourself. I would be saying things to myself like " I know I've got a big behind, but I love my behind. " " I am what I am and if others don't like it so be it! " . And I would find some positives that you can about youself. Maybe about how kind and loving you are to go visit your aunt. Maybe it's your hair or your eyes or your feet. Maybe you are good with your hands. Focus in on your positive attributes. So what if you have a big behind! Those postives will overcome the big behind. And ask that little girl inside of you what she is needed for you to take care of her. She is hurt and probably just needs lots of love and care, not for you to stuff down her feelings with food. I wish you the best in seeing the rainbow in this situation. Alana > > Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time. > > There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the " cool bunch " to hang out with; the bullies. > > I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, " boy that woman has a big ass. " And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- " you know where that comes from, good eats, " I said, " yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close? " I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense. > > I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking????? > > God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. > > Damn bullies!!!! > > All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. > > Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too! > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Good one!!!!!!!! KnoblochSent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from U.S. CellularFrom: "belovell" Date: Mon, 6 Jul 2009 08:01:07 -0500To: <IntuitiveEating_Support >Subject: Re: the nursing home I would have told them your mouths are bigger than my assog people can make you so madbetty the nursing home Yesterday I visited my aunt in the local county home. We had a nice visit. I took her outside for quite awhile and then brought her back up to the open area where the women sit and chat and watch tv to pass time.There was a group of women who my aunt chooses not to sit with who constantly hound the nurses. They seemed to be somewhat rude and mostly ignored but kept up their chatter about this and that. I guess the situation reminded me of junior high school. These women were like the "cool bunch" to hang out with; the bullies.I said goodbye to my aunt and as I was walking to the elevator, I could hear one of these women say very loudly while I was still in plain sight, "boy that woman has a big ass." And the group chatted about it and laughed while i stood there praying for the elevator to hurry up and open. While she kept up with- "you know where that comes from, good eats," I said, "yeah I have a big ass, you want to see it up close?" I guess I sort of shocked myself by saying this. The women ignored me and enjoyed the moment at my expense.I got into my car and drove home. The rebel in me took over - I'll show them good eats! How twisted is THAT kind of thinking?????God, I'm hating myself this morning and wondering what I can wear to cover my ass up today. Damn bullies!!!!All day I kept thinking I've got to get rid of this weight. I thought alot about the lap band surgery again as my majical cure. I became frustrated knowing that it will do no such thing. Today is a new day. I sat and read some of my IE book and feel a little better. Yesterday's experience was supposedly an opportunity to learn something. I just pray that I can see what it is. It did help to read the operation beautiful site too!Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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