Re: Today I found three books that I ordered...

May 24, 2009

Perhaps you weren't ready (state of mind) to read them then? I bet you find that

they have a greater impact on you at this stage of your IE than they would have

had 5 years ago. You have come a long way

I found that I am getting more meaningful input from (slowly) reading When Women

Stop Hating Their Bodies. I think that if I had read it immediately (and quickly

too) when I first started IE, I would have passed by many of the points that are

now very helpful for me.

Hope you can write a short review of these as you read them so others here can

have insight into more resources too.

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> ... in the past and obviously never read. The titles sound like

> something I would definitely like to read. I ordered them about five

> years ago, March 2004. I wonder how I could forget about them.

>

> A weird sign?

>

> s.

>

June 10, 2009

Styxia, I hope that one of those books was When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies.

Its really not about BSing one's self into 'cherishing' your body (when you

really don't feel that way). Its a wonderful collection of EXPERIENCES and

realizations that women who have been through the non-dieting process (I'd even

call it de-tox! ;-). It has been a great source of leading me into my feelings

and understanding WHY I do and feel what I do.

Best wishes to you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Some days ago I wrote about three books I've ordered a few years ago and

> never read because I simply forgot them. I discovered that I MUST have

> the somewhere at home because dear amazon told me that I have baught the

> books in the past some weeks ago when I did a search for books. If there

> wouldn't have been the line above the book that told me I have baught

> them in the past I would have ordered them again.

>

> Well, I started paging through all three of them this morning and I

> think I found the reason why I

>

> 1) may have forgotten the books.

>

> 2) don't feel so good about re-reading some non-diet books.

>

> They make me feel hope- and powerless somehow. I can't put my finger on

> the reason yet, but I hope I can soon.

>

> Is anyone else on here who shares these feelings? Any idea why they come

> up?

>

> Regards

> s.

>

June 10, 2009

Dear Styxia,

I know that you have and continue to struggle with your 'demons' which I can

tell is very frustrating too! (how well I know ;-) I admire that you have stuck

to this and are still pounding the ground looking for a solution. The hardest

thing for me to accept and work on is the INternal work that turns out to be

necessary for either of us (and 99% of all others) to get thru/over this

impasse. Often reading something in a book will spark that process, and for me

reading additional input here enhances that too. Yet its only when I can turn my

focus INward that I really get what I need - changes to/for me. And for myself,

part of the reasons that I can't/don't do that meaningful work more often is

because one of the internalized stopping blocks is a combo of shame I still buy

into and the fact that my OUTward 'tools' are so much more exercised and honed

than my INward skills.

BEST to you. Katcha

>

> > Styxia, I hope that one of those books was When Women Stop Hating Their

> > Bodies.

>

> I've read that book a while ago and I thought it was good. The feelings

> I described were not present about 1.5 years ago when I read it. I don't

> know what caused the change and why I feel reluctant to pick up one of

> these books again or *any* book about this subject. They used to make me

> feel better, not they make me feel awful somehow. I might be in some

> sort of denial at the moment but can't figure out what's wrong. It seems

> quite confusing.

>

> In case you're interested, the books I ordered and never read are:

> " Anatomy of a Food Addiction " , " The Craving Brain " and " ADD and

> Addiction " .

>

> Regards

> s.

>

June 10, 2009

YES YES YES Harry!!! I am always sooo happy to have men chime right in to remind

us (and authors too) that Fat is NOT only a 'feminist' issue - its a HUMAN one.

The only ding I have with most books promoting non-dieting is that they too much

cater to gals. Guys eat, have body and social challenges too. As mentioned

recently, a discussion/review of When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies is going to

be tried by a group of longer term IEer members and I really hope that Arnie

will join in too. He was as wonderful a member here as any of us gals, and my

only disappointment with the authors of the book (WWSHTB) is that they had only

worked with women and pretty much based much of the causes for deep ingrained

issues related to eating in the experiences of being 'little girls'. Every one

of the 'issues' had a HUMAN aspect to in as far as I could tell.

Keep us (gals esp.) totally aware of your needs and insights too. You get LOTS

of 'guts points' for being here - YEA! for you and THANKS too.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

PS what say you too Tim?

>

> It's not only women who struggle with food and body image and fat. I've

> wrestled with these issues all my life, and I have to say it's discouraging

> to read a book that speaks only to women.

> Gender is part of the equation, but by no means the whole story. Men wrestle

> with this too. I wrestle with this.

> Harry

June 10, 2009

Sharon (and any other newbie) - there is a Book List in the Files section at the

group (Yahoo) site. I highly recommend that you print it out or copy it over to

your computer for reference. Additions - books and comments - to this list can

be made right here in the posts so that this list continues to grow and be

updated.

I've had good luck with getting used copies at Half.com and Amazon too. Even

found a free copy at paperbackswap.com!

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Katcha, do you have the name of the author of this book? I'd love to get a

copy or see if I can get it at my library. I'm totally new to the concept of

intuitive eating (well, in my adult years anyway because I'm sure I practiced

this without knowing what it was called in my teen years) and would like to

learn as much as I can to get my eating under control and deal with whatever

emotions from my past that are helping to keep me fat.

>

> Thanks,

> Sharon

June 10, 2009

I don't think that having a book specialize on how women may view these

problems, because clearly, women and men do have different views of many issues

at times. But I think the issue is where are the books for men as well?

Warrior

> >

> > Some days ago I wrote about three books I've ordered a few years ago

> > and never read because I simply forgot them. I discovered that I MUST

> > have the somewhere at home because dear amazon told me that I have

> > baught the books in the past some weeks ago when I did a search for

> > books. If there wouldn't have been the line above the book that told

> > me I have baught them in the past I would have ordered them again.

> >

> > Well, I started paging through all three of them this morning and I

> > think I found the reason why I

> >

> > 1) may have forgotten the books.

> >

> > 2) don't feel so good about re-reading some non-diet books.

> >

> > They make me feel hope- and powerless somehow. I can't put my finger

> > on the reason yet, but I hope I can soon.

> >

> > Is anyone else on here who shares these feelings? Any idea why they

> > come up?

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

>

> ------------------------------------

>

June 10, 2009

I understand exactly what you mean about OA. I found it to make me feel like

food was evil for me. The spiritual aspect is fantastic. I just think they did

a weird tweak on the view of the original 12 steps.

Warrior

> >

> > It's not only women who struggle with food and body image and fat.

> > I've wrestled with these issues all my life, and I have to say it's

> > discouraging to read a book that speaks only to women. Gender is part

> > of the equation, but by no means the whole story. Men wrestle with

> > this too. I wrestle with this. Harry

>

> ------------------------------------

>

June 10, 2009

For what it's worth, I'm the same way with my IE, non-diet, self-help-ish books

too. I go through phases where I can't wait to read more, where they DO make me

feel better and powerful and smart for wanting my life to be this way. But then

I go through other periods where I can't read them (especially When Women Stop

Hating Their Bodies - that was a tough one to get through!). I don't know why

because they SHOULD make me feel better, but it got to a point where if my

husband had already fallen asleep I couldn't read any because I would burst in

to tears and never stop. Or at least it felt like never - I felt lonely and

scared and totally incapable of doing anything...

I think part of it, and part of my resistance to the non-diet approach in

general, is feeling out of control. I'm a huge control freak, and was always a

very good dieter, until my second child was born at least. So measuring,

counting, weighing, etc. was a great way for me to be in control of everything,

or so I felt. Not doing all that feels too relaxed and carefree, which I equate

to out of control, and it spirals from there.

I've gotten past it to some extent. I'm doing ok but not reading a lot these

days. I see the books and think I want to read... But then pull out a magazine

or start a novel. I trust that I will get back to them when I want or need to.

The latest I was working on was Big Fat Lies, which I also recommend, btw. But I

liked what Katcha said about When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies not being about

us just bs-ing ourselves into cherishing our bodies... that's kind of where I'm

stuck (I can accept that not everyone is a size 2, but dammit _I_ still want to

be!). It's nice to know that others struggle with similar things.

Gosh, I always think I'm just going to write a quick message and end up writing

a novel. Thanks for listening.

Gillian

June 11, 2009

I agree with Warrior, I don't think all books have to be equal opportunity.

There is definitely a different set of issues with women than men when it comes

to weight. The standards are different, and the unfairness of the standards are

what When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies is about.

I can imagine it's discouraging, but I hope that rather than complaining about

one of the few books that directly addresses this issue, you are reading the

many books that do not. The book " Intuitive Eating " is gender-neutral. So is at

least one Geneen Roth book I've read.

thea

> >

> > Some days ago I wrote about three books I've ordered a few years ago

> > and never read because I simply forgot them. I discovered that I MUST

> > have the somewhere at home because dear amazon told me that I have

> > baught the books in the past some weeks ago when I did a search for

> > books. If there wouldn't have been the line above the book that told

> > me I have baught them in the past I would have ordered them again.

> >

> > Well, I started paging through all three of them this morning and I

> > think I found the reason why I

> >

> > 1) may have forgotten the books.

> >

> > 2) don't feel so good about re-reading some non-diet books.

> >

> > They make me feel hope- and powerless somehow. I can't put my finger

> > on the reason yet, but I hope I can soon.

> >

> > Is anyone else on here who shares these feelings? Any idea why they

> > come up?

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

>

> ------------------------------------

>

June 11, 2009

I forget exactly how Gillian (group owner and IE coach) puts it, but ot goes

something like this - not having to be in control, but in charge? Control ends

up limiting with deprivation feelings then rebellion quick to follow. In charge

means YOU make the decisions. Its so much more empowering!!

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I'm a person who wants to always be in control, too, Gillian. But, I felt

like the food and the diet programs were controlling me (all the counting,

knowing in the morning what I was going to eat for dinner so I knew how many

points I had left, etc.). I felt like food and dieting stripped me of my

freedom to live my own life (at least where eating was concerned). This is why

I've decided to try to tune into my own body and learn to be an IE-er. I've

lost control of my body and it's needs ... and I'm not about to let food or

dieting keep the control. I'M TAKING IT BACK! :-)

>

> Sharon

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Wednesday, June 10, 2009 10:07:44 PM

> Subject: Re: Today I found three books that I

ordered...

>

> For what it's worth, I'm the same way with my IE, non-diet, self-help-ish

books too. I go through phases where I can't wait to read more, where they DO

make me feel better and powerful and smart for wanting my life to be this way.

But then I go through other periods where I can't read them (especially When

Women Stop Hating Their Bodies - that was a tough one to get through!). I don't

know why because they SHOULD make me feel better, but it got to a point where if

my husband had already fallen asleep I couldn't read any because I would burst

in to tears and never stop. Or at least it felt like never - I felt lonely and

scared and totally incapable of doing anything...

> I think part of it, and part of my resistance to the non-diet approach in

general, is feeling out of control. I'm a huge control freak, and was always a

very good dieter, until my second child was born at least. So measuring,

counting, weighing, etc. was a great way for me to be in control of everything,

or so I felt. Not doing all that feels too relaxed and carefree, which I equate

to out of control, and it spirals from there.

> I've gotten past it to some extent. I'm doing ok but not reading a lot these

days. I see the books and think I want to read... But then pull out a magazine

or start a novel. I trust that I will get back to them when I want or need to.

The latest I was working on was Big Fat Lies, which I also recommend, btw. But I

liked what Katcha said about When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies not being about

us just bs-ing ourselves into cherishing our bodies... that's kind of where I'm

stuck (I can accept that not everyone is a size 2, but dammit _I_ still want to

be!). It's nice to know that others struggle with similar things.

> Gosh, I always think I'm just going to write a quick message and end up

writing a novel. Thanks for listening.

> Gillian

>

> ------------------------------------

>

June 11, 2009

Harry,

I just got done reading biography titled Still Hungry After All

These Years. While it's not a non-dieting book, He is a man that struggled with

his weight for years as well as self esteem issues. It was an interesting read.

Even if you never liked the guy when he had his show, I thought it was a good

book. What I loved and took away from it was he came into being just who he was

- A very different person, very funny, Kind of a Dweeb in many ways, but he

accepted and loved himself and didn't care what others thought of him. And

because of that, he was a big success as you all know in the 80's. He still

sells videos and has an exercise studio in CA called Slimmons. He seemed to get

the eating a balanced healthy diet, but not dieting and moving every day. I

think his one book was called Never say Die-t. I highly recommend his

auto-biography.

Alana

> >

> > Some days ago I wrote about three books I've ordered a few years ago

> > and never read because I simply forgot them. I discovered that I MUST

> > have the somewhere at home because dear amazon told me that I have

> > baught the books in the past some weeks ago when I did a search for

> > books. If there wouldn't have been the line above the book that told

> > me I have baught them in the past I would have ordered them again.

> >

> > Well, I started paging through all three of them this morning and I

> > think I found the reason why I

> >

> > 1) may have forgotten the books.

> >

> > 2) don't feel so good about re-reading some non-diet books.

> >

> > They make me feel hope- and powerless somehow. I can't put my finger

> > on the reason yet, but I hope I can soon.

> >

> > Is anyone else on here who shares these feelings? Any idea why they

> > come up?

> >

> > Regards

> > s.

> >

>

> ------------------------------------

>

June 11, 2009

Feeling like you're not in control when in nondiet mindset is interesting. It

made me think...it reminds me of those shows you see about OCD and how all their

rituals make them feel like they're more in control, and yet the ritual controls

them! Same with dieting. So it is purely an illusion...and not a very good one

either because I end up gaining and getting bigger. lol