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I just heard from the financial coordinator at and she explained that my insurance company will pay a maximum of $10,000.00 for donor evaluation(s). Of that, $3600.00 has already been spent on Denver (my first potential donor), and most complete evaluations cost between $10,000-$15,000.00.

I am so tired of fighting the insurance company. (Actually, I'm just plain tired.) This insurance company only pays for one evaluation for me, which I just used at Cleveland Clinic, and they've got limits on donor benefits. How am I ever going to get transplant accomplished when I have so many hurdles to jump? If we can come up with the money to complete the evaluation for this donor that's great, as long as he's approved. If he isn't then I will have no choice but to wait for a cadaveric liver, and my MELD recently dropped back down to a 7, as a result of a lower INR.

The problem is, I'm sicker than I've been since 1997 when my pancreas was trying to shut down. How many lives can one person possibly have? I have a daughter who needs me and I got that reminder at the conference. When she was telling someone about losing her dad when she was three it hit me, again, just how alone she would be. I hate being without parents and I'm 42 (nearly 43)! I even have 2 older brothers that helped to soften the blow, I can't imagine being an only child and being without parents at the age of 22.

Please, pray that God gives me strength because right now I'm angry and worried about , and I don't have much energy to spare these days.

Thanks,

(MO)PSC & UC '84, chronic pancreatitis '97, listed for tx 06/05for details see www.caringbridge.org/visit/melaniejs

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