... random question

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

First let it be known I'm not b*tching, not at all, just expressing my

situation :

I'm pre-op too, and yup I've felt guilty, like what if I die while having

the surgery?! blah blah blah, but then I think of it this way;

I'm 42 yrs old, I've have sacrificed allot for my hubby and 2 kids, always

putting them first for 27, 25 & 22 years, I love them and it's what I chose

to do, but guess what? Now it's MY turn! I have to take care of me now, I

want to be here for my family & any possible grandchildren as long as I can,

and if there is a chance in hell I can do that, I'm there! lol . Both my

parents died quite young, had allot of health troubles. I have an

opportunity to stop the cycle so to speak, I'm not only doing this for me,

but in a sense once again, my family too.

Another way I look at this is; when God decides he wants me home, he'll call

me, whether I'm on an operating table or at the store or watching tv,

whatever wherever, when it's my time, it won't matter where or what I'm

doing, or having done to me, it'll be my time, my number will be up, I'll

have to go!. At least this way, I tried to stay longer.

I hope this helps somewhat.

random question

I love reading the email this group sends. It's very encouraging,

especially for a new, pre-op like me. I do have a rather strange question,

though. Lately, I've been psyching myself out of the surgery because I'm

starting to feel selfish for wanting it. Did anyone else have that problem?

I guess it goes along with wanting to take care of myself, but there is a

whole mess of emotional baggage that goes along with it. I was just curious

to know if I'm being overly dramatic, or if other people have dealt with

feeling like this.

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