Curiosity killed the binge!! {Hooray!}

March 6, 2009

Ok.. so I had something exceedingly cool happen earlier that I wanted to share.

My daughter (3) was home and grumpy and not napping and I was tired and all of a

sudden that OVERWHELMING URGENCY TO EAT was flooding throughout my body.....

My initial response was defeat " Oh man I have been doing so well " I have

wrestled with this BEAST for many years and seldom won..

I felt really scared... I knew how this played out...Beast attacks, I fight, I

give up, I eat ...beast no longer needed I take over beating myself up.

But this time I remembered the mindfulness books I have been reading about

taking on a mindset of " curiosity " and being in the present moment.

So.. I brought myself to the present (it was like pressing rewind on Tivo as I

was presently about 20 minutes ahead overeating in my head)...

THEN I decided to look at this feeling with curiosity and it was

AMAZING...almost instantly when I sort of stepped back and looked at it with

curiosity it was no longer this OVERWHELMING URGE it was actually a tight

constricting in my stomach starting from my chest and legs and constricting

really tight-- and the urge was gone.

Happy but sort of afraid to trust it (You know like in the horror movies when

the teen agers get the bad guy and stay in the house and you are yelling " Get

out of there! " ) I was afraid it would come back...well a few moments later it

did

....and I calmly got back into the moment- stepped back (mentally) and was

curious like a scientist trying to analyze what was going on and again...the

URGE was gone and all that was there was the tightening in my stomach.

It was amazing it was like I shifted from the mode of mind that was required for

that sort of URGE thinking to be sustained because it dropped away instantly

when I shifted to curiosity... maybe it is a brain hemisphere thing (you know

like one type of thinking comes from right brain the other from left and most

people can't sustain certain ones simultaneously).

All I know is that it " worked " and I loved it and that was hours ago and I

haven't eaten nor had the desire to!

Hooray!!!

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