Re: buying food from restaurants/stores

[Guest guest]

Jayeff,

I don't " struggle " with the need to buy from restaurants or through delivery.

When I buy restaurant or delivery food, it's usually about convenience. There

are some times though when I buy those types of foods because I want to " treat "

myself or I feel rebellious and want to feel like I'm being naughty or getting

away with something...it's kinda bizarre...that need of a part of me to feel a

little out of control...though I know that this happens in part because I've

been the stable/dependable person...and I have used food as an outlet to break

out of my typical persona.

Now convenience store foods is another story. I posted some months back about my

issue in convenience stores. I realized that my body actually gets

overstimulated by all of the food choices, the colors, the cramped space...I've

felt an intense compulsive need to buy something in convenience stores. Once I

realized what was going on, I've been taking care of myself by paying attention

to my body (being mindful and breathing). I actually made a point of watching my

breath and walking around convenience stores with the knowledge that I can buy

something if I really want something/am hungry and I found that I didn't really

want anything during these experiences. I haven't experienced this compulsion in

months. This first step to transforming those types of experiences is

awareness/self-knowledge and then practicing ways to take care of ourselves

without using food.

Latoya

>

> does anyone else struggle with the need to BUY food (from restaurants,

convenient stores, delivery)? I keep thinking that this " need " is intricately

linked with my struggles with food. What do you think this is all about?

>

[Guest guest]

Food shopping is not an issue for me - I'm a bulk/bargain type of shopper so

don't mind being in stores, but I'm usually very efficient and selective when I

do shop.

Now eating the food I have available represents more of a challenge for me -

legalizing and mindfulness are ongoing work as well as (body) hunger awareness

etc.

Tell us more about what buying food make you feel like as well as positive and

negative effects for you. That could help make more connections with others here

who can relate to what you are experiencing.

Best to you - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> does anyone else struggle with the need to BUY food (from restaurants,

convenient stores, delivery)? I keep thinking that this " need " is intricately

linked with my struggles with food. What do you think this is all about?

>

[Guest guest]

When you say " struggle with the need " do you mean that you prefer at this phase

to have restaurant food more than home cooked?

I used to do that (prefer restaurant food/delivery etc.) I wouldn't feel as

satisfied if I ate at home.

And I honored it and allowed myself to eat out/take out whenever I wanted and

now it is funny I cook the vast majority of the time.

So for me it was two things

a) allowing myself to have what I was wanting and thus taking away its extra

power - I mean restriction is restriction is restriction and

I " allowed " myself to cook really yummy things not just " healthy " things-and

ate them sitting down at a beautifully set table-- for me that is when I noticed

the shift.

BUT there is something significantly nurturing for me to have restaurant food-

it is like I am being taken care of (no cooking, no dishes).

If it feels safe I wonder if you would be interested in exploring releasing the

struggle and buying restaurant food when you want it... and just taking a

mindset of curiosity to see what would happen?

Peaceful Dining!

Josie

[Guest guest]

wow, thanks for the responses. already i have much so think about.

first of all, i really resonated with the idea that maybe i am using food to

rebel against my " good girl " tendencies. as a teacher, all day, i give give

give, and then when i come home, i'm burnt and empty. food feels like a safe

way to rebel. i would never let a student down or come to work late.....it's

weird but oddly truthful to think that i might WANT a feeling of being out of

control, and maybe food is the only area where i will allow this....

i also relate to the idea that restaurant food/delivery is a way to feel " taken

care of, " but at the same time i think it presents this increased sense of guilt

(not only b/c i order whatever i want) but because it taps into my insecurity

that i am unable to take care of myself.....not just in the sense of putting

myself first, but also in the sense of feeling like i am not a " real " grown up.

i guess it is really hard for me to completely take away all

restrictions....however, it's hard for me to let go of the idea that the act of

buying the food in this manner has a negative connotation b/c it feels like a

major part of my " routine " for when i binge on food.

thank you so much for listening.....and for sharing your wisdom.

[Guest guest]

A wonderful post and so right on! Kudos to you - Katcha

> >

> > does anyone else struggle with the need to BUY food (from restaurants,

convenient stores, delivery)? I keep thinking that this " need " is intricately

linked with my struggles with food. What do you think this is all about?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jayeff,

Your response made me think about my definition of a " real " grown-up. We've

talked a fair amount in this group about the idea of the " sweet wild child "

(SWC) that lives within each of us. I've definitely had experiences of

child-like/fun parts of me...especially when I have to make a choice of what to

eat at a restaurant. 7-9 times out of 10, if I have to choose between a " nice "

salad or a juicy burger with onion rings, I'm going to choose the burger with

onion rings. I accept this about myself and that child part of me. I've found

ways to offer my self meals at home that are just as appealling/satisfying to my

palette in different ways as a burger meal.

Though, what you're saying about wanting to feel like you can take care of

yourself and averting binge mode is so important. I've noticed that I can get

super overstimulated/hyperactive when I make a choice like burger and onion

rings. I've had experiences where I'm literally holding my breathe and stuffing

the food in my mouth as fast as I can. Since practicing being more mindful and

starting IE, I wanted to have a more balanced experience with foods like

this...so when I can I've practiced waiting until I'm hungry, watching my breath

and making sure that I'm breathing, and really savoring every bite of a meal

like that, that I can. So, the child parts get a need met and the adult parts

get a need met.

That " caretaker " that each of us can cultivate in ourselves is aware of the

different parts of ourselves, how we respond in certain situations and with

certain foods, accepts us as we are, and helps us work toward new and more

balanced experiences that we want to have. Truly, practicing IE has helped me

feel so much more confident in my ability to respond to and take care of myself

and I hope you experience the same.

Latoya

because it taps into my insecurity that i am unable to take care of

myself.....not just in the sense of putting myself first, but also in the sense

of feeling like i am not a " real " grown up.