Remembering to adore yourself as you are

[Guest guest]

I have been doing IE a long time. Belonged to this group years, too, just don't

visit much. I've been in a long phase of trying to use IE to lose weight. Of

course, all I've done is gain weight. But I kept at it. I'd have some small

" success " , and chalk the subsequent weight gains up to me not sticking to IE. I

thought I wasn't paying proper heed to my hunger/satiety signals. I was wrong.

The problem was that I was still focused on losing weight. As long as I focused

on that, my body would create hunger/satiey signals which would combat that.

Very recently I read " Excuse Me Your Life Is Now " . It's an excellent law of

attraction book. It recommends writing a script that you read out loud

regularly that describes your life as you want it to be as if it has already

come true. With weight, she recommends not focusing on losing weight in your

script (as this might make you feel bad about your current perfect self) and

instead concentrate on cravings, health, exercising, etc.

I wrote my body script the other day. I focused it on loving and accepting and

adoring myself as I am now. It's only been two days and I can just feel

something clicking inside me. My hunger signals have decreased dramatically.

My obsession with food and eating has been nearly non-existent. I want to eat

slowly and savor my food. Stopping at satiation is effortless. I notice that

if I even think for a moment about weight loss, within a couple minutes, I can

feel an actual physical hunger welling up inside me. If I shift my focus back

to acceptance, it just melts back away. It's really quite amazing.

I'm writing this in part for others who, like me, struggle with acceptance. I

really believe that it is vital to IE. I'm also writing this to help myself

remember this. I don't want to forget the importance of loving and accepting

myself as I am. I've learned this lesson in the past, only to spiral down into

self-loathing again. I want to remember this lesson permanently.

I've also realized lately that my self-loathing isn't even based on my weight.

I started loathing myself as a little girl. Unfortunatley, my mom, who has

terrible self-esteem to the point of social anxiety disorder and chronic

depression, always told me everything she thought was wrong with me. I felt

horribly ugly, and have ever since. Of course, I was a beautiful girl and I'm a

beautiful woman (if I don't say so myself), but reality doesn't matter when you

see yourself through an ugly filter. I'm making great gains in loving myself as

I am. I mean really loving myself. Seeing every aspect of myself as beautiful.

I've been focusing on developing empathy for those who don't see me that way,

for they don't see themselves that way either, usually.

Anyway, hope this is helpful to someone.

Sara