what happens when I don't stuff my emotions with food...

[Guest guest]

I get pissed off and stand up for myself when I think I'm being treated unfairly! What a fascinating concept!!

Saturday, I cleaned house for 5 hours straight, finally sat down at the computer for a break, when my husband announced that he couldn't find his external floppy drive. Since I didn't even know he/we HAD one of those, I just answered " I don't know " and kept on reading my e-mail. I did start to ponder where it " might " be, but before even 5 seconds had passed he got in a snit that I hadn't leapt up to help him search for this thing that I didn't know existed, didn't know what it looked like, or certainly where he might have put it! So first I walked out of the room, thought about it for a minute, then went back in and asked him if he would feel obligated to drop everything and help me hunt for my tampons if I " lost " them ... NO!! I told him I was tired of the double-standard in his thinking and to stop expecting me to do things for him that he wouldn't dream of doing for me. Then yesterday (after we made up and had a very nice 'sunday siesta' , he fussed at me for there being candy wrappers on the floor of the minivan from candy that HE had fed the kids a few weeks ago! And again I didn't bite my tongue and fume like usual but told him that it seemed a bit unfair to blame me when he's the one that gave it to them ... he turns around and says " well it doesn't really matter how they got there you should keep the van cleaner " and I told him he was full of it and didn't talk to him for a few hours LOL (until he made me dinner .

It didn't make for a very nice valentine's day, but ya know what? I had a PERFECT I.E. weekend - didn't even think about food until I was hungry, ate what sounded good until satisfied then stopped without feeling ANY urge to stuff myself ... didn't even consider stuffing my face with something because I was mad or felt unfairly treated ....

so ... although these are not COMFORTABLE things to feel, and I did suffer some anxiety about having a confrontation (he won't love me, we won't talk for days, blah blah blah) I really think that improving my confidence to deal with personal situations and decreasing need to feel 'stuffed' are going hand-in-hand, and I'm very happy about both And, he's actually been MORE affectionate since then.

hmmmmmm....

Mikki