Re: what happens when I don't stuff my emotions with food...

[Guest guest]

Mikki, first of all - GOOD for you!!! You saw each situation for what

it was - a demand on YOUR life, for the benefit of another. Providing

a reality check for your hubby must have been difficult and even

painful for you. Yet if you think about it, wasn't your hubby acting

like a little boy who wanted his mommie to do things for him? (Mommie

loves me - she does EVERYTHING for me Now that you are seeing

things clearly, I wonder if your saying something like " I know you

want me to do these things FOR you, but really they are your tasks to

do and I have confidence that you can and will do them to your

satisfaction! PS - I love you honey :) " Isn't that what an

encouraging mommie would say to her kids? Why not hubby (who is acting

like one of the kids) too? We all have our inner little kids that need

parent assurance (of love and confidence for one's self) for time to time.

I can't help but wish I could see the look on your hubby's face if you

said such a thing to him :)

ehugs, Katcha

>

> I get pissed off and stand up for myself when I think I'm being treated

> unfairly! What a fascinating concept!!

>

> Saturday, I cleaned house for 5 hours straight, finally sat down at the

> computer for a break, when my husband announced that he couldn't

find his

> external floppy drive. Since I didn't even know he/we HAD one of

those, I

> just answered " I don't know " and kept on reading my e-mail. I did

start to

> ponder where it " might " be, but before even 5 seconds had passed he

got in a

> snit that I hadn't leapt up to help him search for this thing that I

didn't

> know existed, didn't know what it looked like, or certainly where he

might

> have put it! So first I walked out of the room, thought about it for a

> minute, then went back in and asked him if he would feel obligated

to drop

> everything and help me hunt for my tampons if I " lost " them ... NO!!

I told

> him I was tired of the double-standard in his thinking and to stop

expecting

> me to do things for him that he wouldn't dream of doing for me. Then

> yesterday (after we made up and had a very nice 'sunday siesta' , he

> fussed at me for there being candy wrappers on the floor of the

minivan from

> candy that HE had fed the kids a few weeks ago! And again I didn't

bite my

> tongue and fume like usual but told him that it seemed a bit unfair

to blame

> me when he's the one that gave it to them ... he turns around and

says " well

> it doesn't really matter how they got there you should keep the van

cleaner "

> and I told him he was full of it and didn't talk to him for a few

hours LOL

> (until he made me dinner .

>

> It didn't make for a very nice valentine's day, but ya know what?

I had a

> PERFECT I.E. weekend - didn't even think about food until I was

hungry, ate

> what sounded good until satisfied then stopped without feeling ANY

urge to

> stuff myself ... didn't even consider stuffing my face with something

> because I was mad or felt unfairly treated ....

>

> so ... although these are not COMFORTABLE things to feel, and I did

suffer

> some anxiety about having a confrontation (he won't love me, we

won't talk

> for days, blah blah blah) I really think that improving my confidence to

> deal with personal situations and decreasing need to feel 'stuffed' are

> going hand-in-hand, and I'm very happy about both And, he's actually

> been MORE affectionate since then.

>

> hmmmmmm....

>

> Mikki

>

[Guest guest]

Good for you, Mikki!

>

> I get pissed off and stand up for myself when I think I'm being

treated

> unfairly! What a fascinating concept!!

>

> Saturday, I cleaned house for 5 hours straight, finally sat down at

the

> computer for a break, when my husband announced that he couldn't

find his

> external floppy drive. Since I didn't even know he/we HAD one of

those, I

> just answered " I don't know " and kept on reading my e-mail. I did

start to

> ponder where it " might " be, but before even 5 seconds had passed he

got in a

> snit that I hadn't leapt up to help him search for this thing that

I didn't

> know existed, didn't know what it looked like, or certainly where

he might

> have put it! So first I walked out of the room, thought about it

for a

> minute, then went back in and asked him if he would feel obligated

to drop

> everything and help me hunt for my tampons if I " lost " them ...

NO!! I told

> him I was tired of the double-standard in his thinking and to stop

expecting

> me to do things for him that he wouldn't dream of doing for me.

Then

> yesterday (after we made up and had a very nice 'sunday siesta' ,

he

> fussed at me for there being candy wrappers on the floor of the

minivan from

> candy that HE had fed the kids a few weeks ago! And again I didn't

bite my

> tongue and fume like usual but told him that it seemed a bit unfair

to blame

> me when he's the one that gave it to them ... he turns around and

says " well

> it doesn't really matter how they got there you should keep the van

cleaner "

> and I told him he was full of it and didn't talk to him for a few

hours LOL

> (until he made me dinner .

>

> It didn't make for a very nice valentine's day, but ya know what?

I had a

> PERFECT I.E. weekend - didn't even think about food until I was

hungry, ate

> what sounded good until satisfied then stopped without feeling ANY

urge to

> stuff myself ... didn't even consider stuffing my face with

something

> because I was mad or felt unfairly treated ....

>

> so ... although these are not COMFORTABLE things to feel, and I did

suffer

> some anxiety about having a confrontation (he won't love me, we

won't talk

> for days, blah blah blah) I really think that improving my

confidence to

> deal with personal situations and decreasing need to feel 'stuffed'

are

> going hand-in-hand, and I'm very happy about both And, he's

actually

> been MORE affectionate since then.

>

> hmmmmmm....

>

> Mikki

>

[Guest guest]

That's great Mikki!! I especially loved this part: "So first I walked out of the room, thought about it for a minute, then went back in and asked him if he would feel obligated to drop everything and help me hunt for my tampons if I "lost" them ... NO!!" hahaha

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[Guest guest]

How fabulous! Thanks for sharing.

I really think that improving my confidence to

> deal with personal situations and decreasing need to feel 'stuffed' are

> going hand-in-hand, and I'm very happy about both And, he's actually

> been MORE affectionate since then.

>

> hmmmmmm....

>

> Mikki

>