Self-Care

[Guest guest]

I had quite a few epiphanies this week, thanks to everyone's responses

- they all helped me immensely on this issue of my " chaotic

afternoons " .  My middle son was gone on a 3-day trip with his 6th grade class, and sadly, it was the most peaceful 3 days I've had in awhile.  I realized much of my turmoil comes from his behavior.  My afternoons were so much more calm and it was much easier for me to listen to my body instead of my head.  This prompted me to have a discussion with my husband that we HAD to address some of our 12yo's issues (as opposed to me eating over them - ok, I didn't say that, but I realized this is one of those things that has to be resolved).  We had a very long discussion with our son when he came home (the episodes started upon picking him up off the bus, so I knew it was the right thing to do).  I think we made progress and I will be staying on top of this.  He has been much more charming since yesterday morning.  Not a long period of time, but it's a start.

The other epiphany was that you all helped me to realize are that I've been

traveling at the speed of light in these past several years, trying to

get it all done (including how I've been eating), and completely forgot about me, and secondly, I forgot

what self-care really means.  When someone mentioned that was probably

what was lacking in my life (you intuitive person!!), my first thought was that nah, I take care of

myself, I shower, I put on makeup, LOL, I get dressed.  I had a hard

time grasping that concept.  Then I saw this woman the other day, and

she came into where I worked - we talked for a bit.  She was this

beautiful, put together woman.  Everything was in perfect place - the

clothes, the hair, the accessories, the confidence.  You could feel

it.  I realized that no, I don't take care of myself anymore.  I rush

to put my makeup on, I rush to eat, I rush to shower, I rush to do

everything, just to get it done so I can rush to the next thing.  Everything is makeshift now, instead of with care.  I used to be the person who took the time and thought to get ready each day, and to take care of myself as the day wore on.  But in recent years, it is has been about speed and fitting it all in during the moments I have to spare.  I decided this needs to change.  And most importantly, I've been rushing to eat.  Even though the quantity of food didn't really change, the speed did, the experience did.  And I was absolutely baffled that I gained enough weight to go up 2 dress sizes.  I couldn't figure out how this happened.

The other day I bought myself clothes that fit and made me feel good now.  I took the time to get ready in the morning, and spent time on my hair & makeup as I would if I were going to a party.  When I was hungry, I ate lunch outside on my patio furniture, on set table, which I have always reserved for people coming to visit (never thought about using my patio furniture for just me??).  It was an amazing day.  And do you know what?  I still got the other things done that I needed to (mostly, LOL).  The day felt....good.

I want to take this with me as I start each day.  Thanks ladies, and Happy Mother's Day to the moms out there.{{{hugs}}}